Mother's Day

I'm not going to talk about my mother. I've given too much of my life to her in the past. Instead I'm going to talk about why I'd personally like to boycott Mother's Day.

I don't have a relationship with any woman that would make it appropriate to celebrate Mother's Day with them. I don't have a steady mother figure in my life. My step-mother is wonderful and I like letting her know that I care about her and think she's great, but I didn't meet her until I was about to graduate from high school. She's not really a mother figure. My mother-in-law reminds me too much of my mother. The scars haven't healed enough to try acting like she's a mother figure, and that's probably a big reason why she seems so annoying to me most of the time.

I also don't have any kids or pets to mother. The only person who gets most of my nurturing is Ace, and he doesn't need me to be his mother (and I don't try). I have empty arms and longing, neither of which entice me to want to celebrate mothers.

So, Sunday, I will go out to eat with my in-laws, give my mother-in-law her card, and then hide in the bedroom eating mostly sugary foods in an attempt to comfort myself through the rest of the day. I will be much happier when we move past Mother's Day again for another year. It's a holiday that stings right now.

And I'll continue to hold hope in my heart that next year Mother's Day won't sting so much.