Day 30

Today, I'm thankful for one of my cousins (a particular one).

I have mentioned, sometime in the past, that I have lots of cousins, mostly female. This means several things: a cousin of mine seems to be pregnant most of the time, given that I have less contact with my cousins than most of them have with each other I feel left out of most family things, and if I talk about one of my cousins in two different posts I'm likely talking about two different cousins.

One of my cousins sent me a message on FaceBook earlier, inviting me to Christmas. She's trying to organize my mom's family's Christmas, and she wanted to let me know that they would love to see me. She also wanted to let me know that she understands why I've stayed away. It's meant a lot that someone close to my age is actually reaching out, most of my extended family hasn't reached out.

It was an invitation extended without any demand for anything other than a response on if I'd be willing to come. Someone offering an olive branch of peace and a reminder that at least some of my extended family would love to see me.

I haven't decided yet on if I'll go. I need to think about it for a little bit first. I need to figure out if it's a situation I think I can handle emotionally. But the fact that someone, other than an aunt who bruised our relationship, asked means the world to me. It helps me to feel that me reaching out earlier this year has brought about some kind of bigger positive response. It would be nice to see those who I know care about me. I don't want to take too long on this decision, because there are other things that are decided based on my decision, but I also want to make sure I make the right choice for me.

My cousin gave me something that warmed my heart and helped heal some of the hurt that this year has brought. And for that, I am truly grateful.