I Don't Even Know Any More

This past month has been awkward for me. I have never wanted to say "I quit" more. And I'm not really sure what it is that I want to quit. Because it's not my marriage. Nor is it being on the truck.

I think we are both done with this company. I'm impressed Ace has made it this long. We're going to talk to another company Tuesday to find out a few things (like if it would be better to wait until he has a year under his belt before switching).

I'd like to blame it on this being May, but I doubt that's the issue.

I'm ready for a break. We aren't planning one for almost two weeks. But I'm ready for a break.

Harry Potter Part 4

After taking longer than expected, Ace and I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (this book had more days of delay than it should have).

Which means for the first time, we have the exact same amount of knowledge of what is going to happen. Namely, what was in the movies.

I am looking forward to Luna Lovegood.

(In other news, Ace made a Harry Potter reference today. It made me laugh. I love this man.)

My Crazy, Let Me Show You It

I have a really strange mind sometimes. I say this with no pride about that nor any shame. I recognize that my mind is potentially really screwed up. I blame my mother, mostly because she was so instrumental in breaking it in the first place.

I have a totally irrational fear of making phone calls. The only person I can reliably feel comfortable calling is Ace. It's crazy, because I know there are other people who would love to actually hear from me on the phone. People like my dad, who would just not answer if it was a bad time. And yet... I have been crippled at the thought of actually talking to someone that I've called. (I have no fear of answering my phone and talking, but calling someone else... I told you my mind is strange.)

I am really picky about music and shoes/socks. And sometimes food. Like insanely picky about music. Enough to annoy Ace if I were in charge of the music in the truck. And I hate wearing shoes for long periods of time. If I feel comfortable in your house, my shoes will come off. It makes shoe shopping torturous. Let's not even talk about me buying socks. The food thing is the only one that makes sense. My taste buds are really sensitive. And they don't like complex flavors for the most part. Or really strong ones. And yet, I have somehow convinced my taste buds to like licorice (black and red, because I'm just that weird).

I occasionally try to pick a fight with Ace. Without realizing that's what I'm doing, until I've said something stupid. No clue why, as I hate fighting and love Ace.

The main reason I didn't want to be an engineer: the number of hours it would take to get my degree (also, because my mother wanted me to become one). The degree I chose to get: the second highest number of hours required for getting a job (accounting, which at the time required 150 credit hours to sit for the CPA exam... don't know if that's changed).

I read about grammar for fun. I don't think I got enough knowledge of grammar in school.

This is not an exhaustive list of my bits of crazy. These are just the bits that seem important right now.

Hopefully I won't cringe and beat myself up mentally for posting this later.

Dear Life...

Dear Life,
Hi. How are you? Doing well? I ask because I'm concerned.

It seems that you seem to think I did something with your spouse. Or at least that's how you are treating me. Given that lately I've barely had the time/the inclination to do things with my spouse, it seems unreasonable to think I'm doing something with yours.

I don't even know if you have a spouse. I'm not sure I care.

Please give me a break and bother someone else. Or better yet, follow Wil Wheaton's advice: Don't be a dick.

And now, I'm going to go back to trying to forget how much I'd like to be at the end of my day. Because it seems to be a bit far away right now.

Signed,
M.A. Smith

I am starting to be able to tell which bathrooms had a woman's help in planning them and which a woman was only consulted to make sure nothing was missing.

To explain, there have been multiple bathrooms I've been in where the trash can for feminine hygiene products was behind the head of the person going to the bathroom. Until today, I didn't use one while on my period. Not that it's stopped me from thinking it was a dumb design before today. Today, it just made me want to scream. Because what woman, while dealing with cramps, wants to have to figure out how to avoid blood dripping off a tampon and onto her clothes?

Whoever designed that bathroom clearly was just trying to cram as many stalls in, and had to have someone (probably a woman) point out that they were missing something from the stalls. With no extra space on the walls (except next to the toilet paper, which would have made more sense), they put it the only place they thought made sense. Behind the woman's head/shoulders.

Yes, I am feeling disgruntled about it. After last month, where my body decided to play with what it was doing, it has decided to bleed like a stuck pig this month. Meaning I've had my period for less than 7 hours and have already had to change my tampon twice. There is a reason I'm eating a king size bag of M&Ms and following it up with a regular sized bag.

So, whoever is designing stalls for women's bathrooms, I implore you. Do not make a woman suffer more when she is on her period. Especially if she lives in a truck. Her life is already hard enough. Make the bathroom as pleasant an experience as you can.

And now I'll go back to eating my chocolate. Because chocolate understands me today. And it thinks my jeans are evil too (Ace claims pants aren't evil, but he doesn't have cramps).

I'm Hiding Today

Today is one of those days I have mixed emotions about. Most of them have to do with hiding from anything proclaiming anything about Mother's Day and waiting it out until tomorrow, when I'm safe from all the commotion for until next year.

It's also my mother's birthday today. This only complicates my feelings for today.

On the plus side, Ace is wonderful. He is fine with me ignoring that it's Mother's Day. He's fine with buying me chocolate/sweets/whatever and letting me hide away from the world. He understands why I flinch, mentally, at the reminders.

I hope that if you are a mother, you have a wonderful day. Don't let my issues with the day ruin your day. Celebrate. Take a day off or spend it with your children or celebrate however you want.

As for me, I think I'll spend part of the day eating the Swedish Fish Ace bought for me. He really is the best husband ever.

And hiding. Because avoiding the reminders is better than flinching all day.

Depression Sucks Enough On Its Own

Lately, I've seen a few things about depression online and they've got me thinking. The talented Allie of Hyperbole and a Half wrote about her long, staggering bout of depression that she's still getting over. And I'm glad she is.

On Tumblr, I read about people who are being treated as not in need of help because while they are depressed, they don't self harm.

And I find that to be hurtful. Just because I don't wear physical scars does not mean that I've not got scars on my mind. Depression is not something to ignore just because I don't react the way that someone else expects me to.

I imagine that everyone who suffers from depression long term comes to a point where they want to give up. I did. It was difficult to just keep doing the very little that I was doing. And the only thing that provided me with hope each week was prayer night (praying for a local ministry). The only reason I didn't end up just laying in bed for about a month straight (other than trips to the bathroom) was because of prayer night.

But I didn't hurt myself. The worst I did was not eat enough. I ended up losing 15 pounds because of it.

I spent days laying in bed, watching tv, not caring about anything. I had no passion. And the only times I felt normal were times Ace was home from driving.

I needed help. I needed someone to know that I needed help and to get it for me, because I wasn't comfortable asking for it.

I hate to think that if someone had gotten me the help I desperately needed (and wanted) that I would have been turned away because I wasn't harming myself. I hate to think that we don't take depression seriously as a problem unless someone is harming themselves or considering suicide. I hate to think that we are hurting people that are already hurting because we don't believe them when they say that want help because they aren't doing what we expect them to.

We need to remember that people have emotional and mental scars too. That not all scars are physical. That someone can be hurting or numb and need help without any outward signs.

I am glad Allie got help. I wish I had gotten help. I'm thankful for the people who reminded me of my blessings when I couldn't see them (by asking what was going on in my life). And I hope that we can help people more often when they are hurting this way.

Harry Potter Post 3

We have now made it through the first three Harry Potter books. We're in the middle of watching the 6th movie (we were watching it, but then had to stop to drive for several hours, so we'll finish it later). And we're both really interested in what is going to happen.

I did have to look up Luna Lovegood to see if she lives, because I like the character, but didn't want to commit to loving her if she was just going to break my heart by dying. I've been hurt by fictional characters enough. But she lives, so it's all good. I can love my fellow random person.

I am now trying to figure out why Professor Slughorn's name is so familiar, without looking it up. It's kind of annoying me. (And I'm probably going to look it up here in a moment.)

As I told Ace last night, the magic will never end, because we (or I) can always reread the books or re-watch the movies.

And I think I'm done with my random, barely coherent post. I think Luna has rubbed off more than I expected.

Harry Potter Mania Continues

So, Ace and I have finished book 2 (Chamber of Secrets) and are just over halfway through book 3 (Prisoner of Azkaban). And before you say, "I thought you weren't going to push so hard to finish books any more" I'd like to tell you that we finished book 1 on the 26th of April, and I've only been reading 5 chapters a day at most (I've skipped a few days). Book two is fairly short (18 chapters), so it wasn't hard to get through that quickly and book 3 is only 22 chapters, so it's not that odd that we might be over halfway through it right now.

We've watched through Goblet of Fire. We've now got all the movies (Walmart had them for a good deal, and we got all of them for $40 because we were willing to look for the last two at another Walmart because the first one didn't have those two.). And we are frustrated because while our TV works, the place it was plugged in does not. But we have laptops that will play the movies if nothing else.

I think Ace is excited about the stories. Which makes a change from 10 years ago when he asked me to not bring the books into his house (which is why I stopped reading them after book 4. So looking forward to more/new plots). And it's a nice change. He's grown as a person. And I no longer have to avoid most things with Harry Potter, which is great because it is huge in the nerdy/geeky things that we love.

Whee!

Harry Potter, Part 1

Ace and I have now gotten through the first Harry Potter book (Or we did a few days ago, oops.). My throat is more sore than I'd like, because I read over half the book to him last night/this morning. Since we'd already watched the movie, it was easier for him to follow the story without getting too distracted or needing me to reread stuff to him.

Still, it was a lot to read in a few hours.

But, we will continue the same pattern with books 2-6. After that, we'll hopefully either have found the movies for book 7 or I'll just read it to myself and fill him in. Or he'll be so invested that he'll have me read it without having the movies available. Whichever.

I'm also trying to figure out if I should read him The Hobbit after this. I think he'd like it, but I'm not sure he'd want to hear it before we can see all the movies.

And I am getting way too ahead of myself.

It's good to be sharing something with Ace. And it gives us something else to talk about.

Just don't tell either of us how it ends.

Why I'd Prefer It If My Children Didn't Read Twilight

Let me preface this by saying that I've not read the Twilight series. I've read enough about it from people who have read it to know that I'd probably prefer to keep it that way. And most of it is not the story line (although I have my issues with that), it's because of the writing. Yes, I've read enough descriptions of the writing to know that I'd prefer to avoid the writing (ones that gave examples from the books).

I'd prefer it if my children don't read Twilight though. And part of it is the story line. I'd prefer my children not think that the characters in the story are good role models. I'd prefer they don't think that it's okay to break and enter to watch someone sleep or to get depressed because someone breaks up with you (for your own good, in their opinion) and then start pulling stupid, suicidal stunts. And hopefully, even if they do read the books (because I won't stop them, even if I discourage it), I will have taught them enough to realize why they should look to other sources for good role models.

I'd prefer, honestly, that my children are inspired by someone like Hermoine Granger (with less rule breaking, preferably) or River Tam, or River Song for that matter. Someone who found love, but was strong even without that. Someone who had a fully developed personality. Someone who shows that doing the right thing is more important than some teenage relationship.

I want my children to read freely, from lots of sources. I plan on reading lots of books, lots of different types of books, to them when they are young. I hope to cultivate a lifetime love of reading. I don't want them to see books as my husband does; non-fiction preferred to fiction, movies preferred to books. Not because there is something wrong with non-fiction or movies, but because there are wonderful worlds out there in fiction.

I'd rather they keep an open mind.

I'd prefer they read and re-read Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, and similar books. I'd prefer that if they are interested in vampire fiction, they go for Dracula or Interview with a Vampire (even if I couldn't quite finish that book).

But I won't ban Twilight. I don't really plan on banning any books, if I can help it. I plan on encouraging them to read books that others have banned. Including Harry Potter. And Fahrenheit 451. And To Kill a Mockingbird. Because there are important things in these books. Some of those things are what got them banned in the first place.

But I want my children, especially my daughters, to have strong female role models. To know that they can be awesome and strong. To know that they can change their world.

And I'm not sure Bella Swan and sparkly Edward Cullen are the way to do that.

Hurry Up and Wait

Once again, we are waiting for our load to be ready (it's loaded, but there is a potential quality control issue). On the plus side, we know where we are stopping at night. Unfortunately, we aren't getting the one thing that is still not right on our truck fixed until who knows when. Which sucks, because until then we are having to idle more to control the temperature in the truck.

Anyway.

In the mean time, Ace and I have bought a lot of movies lately. We bought 13 in the past 48 hours. And now, Ace is watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the first time. Ever. And I haven't seen any past the second or third (I've read the first 4 books, but stopped there. The last decade was weird for me.).

It's exciting. At least for me.

And now, back to the movie for me.

Another List

It snowed in Kansas last night. Want to know how I know that for sure? We drove through it. We had turned the a/c on yesterday because we (I) got hot. I miss the warmer weather already, even though I know it will be back.

Anyway, more things I've learned on the road.

1. Sometimes things just keep happening one after another and you can't deliver on time. It sucks, but it's smarter to deliver safely than on time.

2. It's hard to stay awake when you are driving overnight because it's dark and there is nothing to see. And sometimes it's hard to go to sleep, or back to sleep, during the day because it's so light out.

3. Someone needs to come up with heated windshield wipers for trucks. Because ice accumulates there and it makes the wipers stop working as effectively. And the heater blowing on the windshield doesn't warm up the wipers enough to stop that happening.

4. Weather is fickle everywhere, not just Oklahoma. (I kind of figured this, but it's been more obvious on the road.)

5. Apparently, you can still get pulled for jury duty even when you are on the road. Hopefully I can get that issue cleared up quickly and easily (I no longer live in that county or state, and I didn't get notification until after it had passed, or I would have told them before hand. It sucks only getting your mail every few months sometimes.).

6. Some people seem to think, probably because they have never been on a truck, that a truck just stops being an issue when you climb out of it. Just because I can afford to eat wherever does not mean I can park wherever. The truck doesn't disappear just because you've gone inside.

7. Some people will ignore things just because it's inconvenient for them. This just leads to annoying phone calls. (No, we won't take some load to New York City just because you call it The Market. There is a reason it says "No New York" on Ace's file.)

8. New York City is definitely not built for a semi-truck with a 53' trailer. Also, they use a different measuring system than the rest of the country for measuring bridge heights. (A 13' 6" trailer will fit under bridges labeled 12' 2", if there is no snow packed on the ground in New York.)

9. Chicago needs to label a few more bridges. But they do a good job of labeling the ones that are 13' 10" and under.

10. Dallas' skyline looks cooler at night.

11. It's always better when the person fixing the truck has talked to the driver of the truck to know for sure what is wrong with it. Otherwise, it might not get fixed the first time.

12. It sucks when the a/c has an intermittent issue. It's worse when the APU (alternate power unit) goes out.

13. Some weeks, nothing seems to go quite right. Other weeks, everything goes your way.

14. It sucks being stuck at a hotel. Even if the company is paying you for sitting there. Even if they are paying for the hotel room. Especially when the hotel restaurant is closed on Sundays.

15. A semi-truck and trailer can block an interstate when it's tipped over. Hopefully it's not too loaded down, so it can be pulled out of the way and you can get moving again. (We passed by a tipped over truck early yesterday. After waiting about 30 minutes or so for it to be moved out of the way for traffic to pass.)

16. My husband is one of the sweetest guys I know. (He told the car that was sitting next to us that they were going to have to get into the right lane to pass when it was finally clear yesterday, and that he was going to let them get in front of us.)

17. Truckers apologize for cursing in front of me. I'm not quite sure why that is, other than I guess I look innocent. It amuses me each time it happens. (It amuses Ace more.)

18. If you are on time or early for an appointment with Walmart, they get you in and out in two hours. Because they don't want to have to pay detention pay. (Which I totally get.)

19. The worst smelling place I've been? Tyson.

20. The coolest (not temperature wise) place I've been? Hershey, PA. We drove down Chocolate Avenue. I only wished I could get pictures of stuff, but it was the wrong time of day to try to take pictures.

21. The best free stuff we've gotten? Chocolate chip cookies from a Nabisco distribution center and chocolate bars from a Hershey distribution center.

22. San Diego, CA is right on the border with Mexico. Literally, we were within a mile of the border.

23. The only thing more nerve wracking that trying to make sure we didn't accidentally go to Mexico? Trying to make sure we didn't accidentally go back to New York City.

24. The phone numbers that we get with our load assignments? Not useful for anything to do with us.

25. My husband doesn't want me visiting WebMD any more than I do.

I Am Wordy Today

So, after ignoring the blog for most of the year so far, I am apparently wordy today. Go me?

I read a great post earlier called When Is It Time to Walk Away and it has me feeling inspired. Because it's nice to know that someone can understand, without details, that they may not have all the information about why I've made a decision, but it can still be the right one for me.

I am so over everyone telling me that I need a relationship with my mother. I love the people who don't try to tell me that they know better than I do about what I need in my life. No one but me (and possibly Ace) knows what all happened to cause the relationship to be so unhealthy that I needed out. No one but me should decide if I was being harsh or burning a bridge or just that I need to change that decision. And the people who truly care about my happiness either know enough to know that I am happier without her in my life (and why) or to know that they don't need to know the details unless and until I share them.

I read the post out loud to Ace. Then I talked about the fact that I expect to tell our future children something about why they (and I) don't have a relationship with my mother. They'll figure out that my step-mom is not my mom at some point, based on the fact that I call her by name, if nothing else. They'll have questions, and the younger they are, the simpler the answers will be.

I doubt that I'll ever tell them everything. They don't need to know all the details, and I don't remember all of them anyway. I remember enough to know why I stopped the relationship. I remember enough to not let nostalgia for the good times convince me that the relationship would be healthy if I tried to start it back up. I remember enough of the good times that the thought of her doesn't hurt so bad. I remember enough to not want to see her, because just being in the same place is awkward and frustrating.

There are things in this life that I will fight tooth and nail for. My relationship with Ace is one of them. That is a relationship that is worth the work, and usually it doesn't feel like we are working at the relationship. My relationship with my sister is another. I'd love to be closer to her, but we've almost always had a distance separating us (the age difference, if nothing else). But I'd work and try and push to keep a relationship with her. She is worth it. And she wouldn't make me do all the work.

I don't really have a point. I can't say things better than that post did. Sometimes, it's time to protect yourself.

I stopped a toxic relationship with my mother. I survived the emotional abuse that she heaped on me (and it was emotional abuse, which can damage a person nearly as badly as physical abuse can sometimes). I know that just because there were good times, that doesn't negate the bad times. I don't life my life based on the things she said. I don't blame that past on my current situation. I understand that emotional abuse is still abuse, and that I deserve better. I know that some people will never understand, and I don't let them make my decisions for me.

If you have never walked in my shoes, lived my life, you can't know what has caused me to make my decisions. Maybe I am not as strong as some people. But there are people who would be amazed at what I have survived. We all have something we are struggling with. Sometimes, it's time to stop struggling and let it go.

If you ever need to tell someone something without them judging you for making a decision, I hope that I can help. I care and I'd be happy to listen/read. I understand loving someone who hurts you. And I understand letting someone go because the hurt is too much. I know that I can never fully understand your life, just as you can never fully understand mine. But I'm here. And I care.

I'm Not Sure Why I'm Sharing This

Sorry I disappeared again. If I had posted the last week and a half, it would probably been about the problems with the truck, which were myriad at the time and would have really been me whining again. Right now, the only thing to whine about that has to do with the truck is the smell.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is my period. Because it's weird this month, and I don't have a doctor to talk to. So, I'm talking to the internet. I probably need help, and to stop over sharing with strangers (I didn't post about it on Facebook, because I'm classy like that).

So, while Ace and I were at the hotel in Dallas (because the truck was being worked on), I started spotting. Since I had left all my supplies on the truck (which annoyed Ace and I both), we had to go buy some. No big deal, there was a grocery store withing walking distance.

Got everything I needed and we went back to the hotel. And then, my period never quite started. Instead, it's been spotty. I feel fine, nothing hurts. But this isn't like normal (and I'll not talk about color, but that's worried me more than the spotting). And I'm trying not to go onto WebMD and freak myself out about what it could be. Because then I'll convince myself it's something serious and deadly and ahh send help! That way lies madness.

So, yeah. My body is being all mysterious and weird. And I'm trying not to freak out about it.

And why does the truck smell like rotting ham?

Maybe I should check WebMD. Just to be safe.

Nope. Not going to do it.

P.S.: I hate Ace having to drive all night after being at the yard for roughly a week. It screws up my sleep schedule for days. And makes me grouchy to boot. Send caffeine and chocolate.

I Will Get Better About Posting Soon, I Promise

I'm still alive. I even have a good internet connection now. I'm just suddenly finding myself fighting off depression sometimes and not inspired others and exhausted the rest. It's been a busy time lately.

So, anyway. I'm alive and on the truck. We're still traveling around the USA. So far, I've been to more than half the states.

And we've had a few issues come up, but nothing that can't be fixed.

I don't really have much to say tonight, but hopefully I'll be back on with another list of things I've learned since getting on the truck.

See, I Do Remember to Post More Often than Every 2 Weeks!

In addition to being a bad blogger, I've been a bad blog reader. Last year, in roughly August or September (or October, or rather, over parts of all three months), I had a really bad case of depression hit. I lost all my interest in, well, just about anything. I watched a lot of crappy tv and read a lot of fanfiction and didn't do much of anything else. Including eating.

It was really bad. I was eating about two slices of sandwich meat a day for a while. Because the fridge was just too far away.

So, because everything felt like too much effort, I stopped reading blogs. I also stopped reading comics. And playing most games. And on some days, sitting up. And Ace was worried from afar, because he was in training and couldn't be there to help put me back together again (and that was part of the problem).

It was really, really bad. I had a day of talking to Ace on instant messenger where he was offering to talk to my dad and see if he'd come pack my stuff if I could just get myself dressed, and that was too difficult that day (I also may have cried a bit during that conversation, because depression sucks and makes me an emotional wreck). It was epically bad.

And since then, I just haven't made the effort to catch back up on blogs or comics or anything. I'm still not fully checking everything on FaceBook like I used to.

I'm better. Worlds of better. Nowhere near where I was. But I've not started reading blogs again. Because even if I skip catching up on the backlog, which would be advisable, I've not found the desire to go back to reading all those blogs again. Not because I don't care about the people, I do. I just am struggling to find my own voice again, so I'm not ready to add other voices into my head. At least not yet.

So, to all those whose blogs I used to read, I apologize. It's not you. It's totally me. And that crippling depression. I still love you and I hope things are going well. I'm just not ready to immerse myself back in your lives yet. But someday, hopefully soon, I'll be back to reading. Right now, I've got to finish fixing my own head.

Explanations

Hi. I've been MIA for a while, I know. The problem with blogging on the road is oddly not one of not having enough internet connections as much as finding a time when I'm awake and in the mood to write. It's difficult.

And then, Ace and I have take some time off and have been visiting some friends, and I've not thought much about my blog.

I am a crappy blogger sometimes.

Anyway, the other explanation I feel I should do have to do with the hours thing I was mentioning in my last post (I really should have followed that up sooner, but for a bit I was kind of mentally a zombie, only with no desire to eat brains so I wasn't a danger to others. I just wanted sleep.).

The hours of service for a truck driver are as follows: If your company operates 7 days a week (which most do), you have 70 hours in an 8 day period that you can drive, fuel, inspect your truck, and be available for waiting at a shipper or receiver. Everyday, you have 11 hours available time to drive and 14 hours available time to be on duty (driving, fueling, inspecting, waiting, etc.). Unless you have less than 11 hours available on your 70, then you have only those hours available to drive (you still have 14 hours available on duty, that is a constant). On day 9, you get back whatever hours you used on day 1 and it follows like that. In theory, you can drive it so that you never run out of time on your 70 hours. In reality, 70 hours is easily taken up in 6 days and leaves you needing to stop for 34 hours to reset your 70. At least that is often the case for Ace and I.

Everyday, after your 11 hours of driving are up, you have to take a 10 hour break in order to get 11 more hours to drive. This is generally when you eat dinner, sleep, and eat breakfast. It's also the only time a driver has to get on a computer, play games, do laundry (unless they do laundry during a 34). And usually, when you stop, your 10 hour break doesn't start for the better part of an hour because you are doing a post-trip inspection.

So, yeah. A truck driver's life (and that of their passenger) revolves around the 11 hours and the 70 hours. And it's been weird to learn about all of that.

We'll Just Have To Go Back Someday

I have survived us going to Brooklyn, New York in a 72 foot semi. It was one of the most stressful things to have happened. Brooklyn is not made for semis. New York City is not made for semis.

On the other hand, Ace and I went to Hershey, PA after leaving New York. That was cool.

Let me back up some to explain why Hershey, PA was cool, because it wasn't because of getting to see Hershey, PA (too dark, although they do have a street called Chocolate Avenue, which is awesome).

It all started when Ace and I left to go to Louisiana with a load of salad. One long night later, we get stuck sitting for 10+ hours waiting for Ace's break to be over so we can get to our next load. That load was supposed to be started loading onto a trailer at 5 pm and be ready to go by 10 pm. It was finally ready at 5:26 am. That's annoying, but it happens. It would be nicer if we got paid when things like that happen, but we deal as best we can.

So, we deliver the load on time. The place we are delivering to has all the trailers a bit close together, but we get our trailer dropped and we hook up to an empty trailer. All we know about where we are supposed to go from there is Amarillo is the right direction. We end up getting a 34 hour reset (which means Ace has a fresh clock for driving for the week) that we don't need, but it's no big deal (except that is money we could be earning). We head up to Liberal, KS to pick up a load of meat.

The load we are picking up was supposed to be ready by no later than 1:30 pm on Valentine's Day (Ace and I can't get there until about 4 pm, but it is supposed to be ready when we get there). It is finally ready at about 5 am on the 15th. It is already late and the company has to reschedule when it's delivered. Sucky, but not our fault in the slightest.

While we are hauling that load, there is an accident about 3 miles from our planned stop for the night that eats up time while we wait to be able to move. Then, we get a call on the original delivery date that they want their delivery that day, can we do it? The answer is no. Then it looked like we might get taken off it and stuck waiting on a different delivery, but that doesn't work out. So, they have to wait on their delivery because it just isn't going to happen on the original date.

Then comes the harrowing experience of trying to help Ace not get lost in New York. We made it to our delivery 15 minutes early. Then we get to sit and wait, while blocking traffic in one lane, for the receiver to be ready for our delivery. Everything goes fine during our wait and while backing into the dock was crazy, it wasn't a big deal. Getting back out of Brooklyn, on the other hand... We got lost. Thankfully, a cop car pulled up and lead us back to where we needed to be to get out. And while we got lost again trying to get across New Jersey, we managed to avoid going back to New York.

While we were sitting at the dock, waiting for our load to be unloaded, we got our next delivery assignment. Hershey, PA to Mississippi. We arrived in Hershey early, hoping that maybe they might be ready for us. They were, which was great because we were 6 hours early. Everything with that load (which we finished last night) went great. They had an easy place for us to drop our trailer. The trailer we were hooking up to was where they said it would be. And we got part of the way down the road towards the delivery before we had to stop for a 10 hour break.

We are currently getting another 34 hour reset, but this one is actually needed. We pick up a load tomorrow night. Hopefully things go smoothly.

Sometimes, trucking involves a lot of sitting around, waiting. But when it's going well, it involves a lot of driving.

I'm just glad I'm with Ace again. And that we are planning where all we want to go when we are seeing the US in a car/RV.

On the Road Again

Ace and I have been on the road again since Saturday evening. And after a few days of not quite enough sleep all at once, I am finally mostly able to not feel like my mind is fuzzy. I'm still tired, but my thoughts aren't quite so mixed up.

The problem is that right now there is little to talk about. Exhaustion does not make me creative or provide many interesting stories. And my current description of Louisiana would include how dark it is (at night), that we could see trees even in the dark, and that we did a lot of waiting for loads to be loaded or unloaded. Not exactly the most accurate description. (The shipper for our current load was supposed to start loading the trailer we were picking up at 5 pm and be done by roughly 10 pm, which is a long time to take to load a trailer. They were done at 5:26 am. And the only explanation we got was that they were running behind.)

On the plus side, we are earning some money. On the minus side, we are both tired and already ready for a break (because Ace didn't really get one when he was supposed to). And we have no idea where we are supposed to be heading after we drop off this trailer tonight, at least we don't yet.

Sometimes, trucking sucks.