I have been watching some Ted Talks lately. Brené Brown has a couple of them, talking about vulnerability. And Glennon Doyle Melton talked about her past, sharing her vulnerability.
And it amazes me how much people try to numb themselves. Not that I don't understand the desire. I've felt those scary lows. Deeply. Intimately. And I know how bad they hurt and how much you start wondering if this is your new normal. That is, when depression isn't numbing me to nearly everything.
But you can't just numb the lows. You would numb all the highs, and I wouldn't give those up for anything. As bad as depression is, as bad as some of my life experiences have been (and I'm not ready to talk about them yet), I know that numbing the pain won't work.
That doesn't mean I've not done something to help in those bad times. Chocolate is helpful in keeping depression from fully taking over or pulling me away from the edge sometimes. My husband is even better at helping.
But I don't want to dim my life because I'm afraid of the lows. I don't want to miss the highs. I'd rather be vulnerable.
I'm pretty sure that I would probably find it easy to get addicted, if I let myself. (Sometimes it's a good thing to be a bit of a control freak.) But the lack of control, the lack of being able to think clearly, would spiral me further into panic.
So, I don't numb myself. I remain vulnerable. I keep my heart tender. And I suffer from people being stupid. But I get to feel joy at the idea of my sister's wedding (later this month). I get to rejoice at how precious my niece is (My sister had a baby nearly a year ago!). I get to be present and smile and laugh and cry and hurt. And I don't have to fight to figure out how to get past all those long ignored emotions to be here.
I don't proclaim myself better than anyone else. I'm just doing my best. I'm trying to figure out my next right thing. I have hardly any of the answers.
But I do know that numb is not the way to go through life.
(At some point, I will post about something positive. I just don't know when that will be. I seem to be working through some things.)
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Monday, September 12, 2016
Monday, September 29, 2014
Spam Is Sometimes Hilarious
First, without comment, the spam email.
Subject: WE NEED A SOLID PROVE FROM YOU TO ENABLE US RELEASE YOUR FUND.
Date: 2014-06-03 07:35
From: "Federal bureau of investigation"
To:
Reply-To:
Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI headquarters in Washington , D.C.
Federal bureau of investigation
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/25/014.
Attention: Fund Beneficiary,
This is an official advice from the FBI foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. it has come to our notice that bank of Nigeria has released 10,500,000.00 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary, by Inheritance means. The bank of Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to affect this payment from the United Kingdom to your account, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (S.T.D.P) to pay this fund through wire transfer, they used this means to complete the payment.
They are still waiting for confirmation from you on the already transferred funds,which were made in direct transfer so that they can do final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities why must your payment be made in secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate, if you are not a terrorist, then why did you not receive the money directly into your account? This is a pure coded means of payment which we have had in the past has always been related to terrorist acts, we do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your account, so it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account.
Due to the increased difficulty and unnecessary scrutiny by the UK/USA authorities when funds come from outside of America , and the Middle East , the F.B.I crime commission has stopped the transfer on its way to deliver payment of $10.500.00 through a secured diplomatic transit, account (S.D.T.A). We govern and oversee funds Transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody until you can be able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 3 days from the world local bank that authorize the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive from Nigeria are terrorist/drug free else we shall have cause to cross and impound the payment, however, we shall release the funds immediately we receive this legal documents.
We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved, we want to make sure that the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive is not in doubt whatsoever. Note!! The fund is in the Bank of America right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds, to this regards, you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is clean and legitimate by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) to certify that the fund is not for terrorism/money laundering. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, let us know so that we can direct you where to get it.
These Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you don't have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by the bank that initialized the transfer Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, Naturalization or military service. These conditions is Valid until 9th of June 2014 after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Nigeria.
Guarantee: funds will be released on confirmation of the document.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final instruction:
60fCredit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee
61eBeneficiary has full power when validation is cleared
62 Beneficiaries bank in USA/outside can only release funds-
62 Upon confirmation from the world bank/united nations.
64 Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request
NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive.
The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS)Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in U.S and outside. An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons,individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history background, etc.).
FBI Director
James B. Comey.
And now for the explanation as to why it's funny.
In April of this year, I started driving a truck. The company Ace and I drive for requires us to have a TWIC (Transportation Worker Identification Credential) card. I had to undergo a background check from the FBI to insure that I am not a terrorist or a wanted criminal or a lunatic. There were fingerprints and it cost over $100. I passed the background check in two days and then spent two months waiting for my card to be printed (Ace got his in a week 6 months earlier. They changed something right around the time I applied for my card, which caused delays. That's the government for you.)
So, imagine how much I laughed at being told that I have cleared the background check by the FBI by the TSA and that I am considered a terrorist by the FBI in a spam email.
This, like taking cheese to Wisconsin, will never stop being funny to me.
P.S.: I have my TWIC card now and we almost never go anywhere that it's needed. I'm about half disappointed about that.
Subject: WE NEED A SOLID PROVE FROM YOU TO ENABLE US RELEASE YOUR FUND.
Date: 2014-06-03 07:35
From: "Federal bureau of investigation"
To:
Reply-To:
Anti-Terrorist and Monetary Crimes Division
FBI headquarters in Washington , D.C.
Federal bureau of investigation
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C. 20535-0001
Ref: FBI/DC/25/014.
Attention: Fund Beneficiary,
This is an official advice from the FBI foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. it has come to our notice that bank of Nigeria has released 10,500,000.00 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary, by Inheritance means. The bank of Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to affect this payment from the United Kingdom to your account, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (S.T.D.P) to pay this fund through wire transfer, they used this means to complete the payment.
They are still waiting for confirmation from you on the already transferred funds,which were made in direct transfer so that they can do final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities why must your payment be made in secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate, if you are not a terrorist, then why did you not receive the money directly into your account? This is a pure coded means of payment which we have had in the past has always been related to terrorist acts, we do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your account, so it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account.
Due to the increased difficulty and unnecessary scrutiny by the UK/USA authorities when funds come from outside of America , and the Middle East , the F.B.I crime commission has stopped the transfer on its way to deliver payment of $10.500.00 through a secured diplomatic transit, account (S.D.T.A). We govern and oversee funds Transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody until you can be able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 3 days from the world local bank that authorize the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive from Nigeria are terrorist/drug free else we shall have cause to cross and impound the payment, however, we shall release the funds immediately we receive this legal documents.
We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involved, we want to make sure that the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive is not in doubt whatsoever. Note!! The fund is in the Bank of America right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds, to this regards, you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is clean and legitimate by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) to certify that the fund is not for terrorism/money laundering. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you do not have it, let us know so that we can direct you where to get it.
These Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you don't have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by the bank that initialized the transfer Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer (DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, Naturalization or military service. These conditions is Valid until 9th of June 2014 after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Nigeria.
Guarantee: funds will be released on confirmation of the document.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final instruction:
60fCredit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee
61eBeneficiary has full power when validation is cleared
62 Beneficiaries bank in USA/outside can only release funds-
62 Upon confirmation from the world bank/united nations.
64 Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request
NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimacy of the fund you are about to receive.
The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS)Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in U.S and outside. An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons,individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history background, etc.).
FBI Director
James B. Comey.
And now for the explanation as to why it's funny.
In April of this year, I started driving a truck. The company Ace and I drive for requires us to have a TWIC (Transportation Worker Identification Credential) card. I had to undergo a background check from the FBI to insure that I am not a terrorist or a wanted criminal or a lunatic. There were fingerprints and it cost over $100. I passed the background check in two days and then spent two months waiting for my card to be printed (Ace got his in a week 6 months earlier. They changed something right around the time I applied for my card, which caused delays. That's the government for you.)
So, imagine how much I laughed at being told that I have cleared the background check by the FBI by the TSA and that I am considered a terrorist by the FBI in a spam email.
This, like taking cheese to Wisconsin, will never stop being funny to me.
P.S.: I have my TWIC card now and we almost never go anywhere that it's needed. I'm about half disappointed about that.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Random Thoughts No One Else Probably Cares About
I still suck at this posting more than once in a blue moon thing. Sorry. I hadn't quite realized how long it had been since I had posted.
Since I don't really have much in the way of coherent thoughts right now, here is a random list of what is on my mind.
1. Some people are really good at circumventing the rules. Sometimes it's impressive. Sometimes it's bad. (Ace is reading me a follow up article about a kid who got suspended for selling full sugar Pepsi. The kid figured out how to keep selling the soft drinks without breaking the rules.)
2. Why are we, as a society, so hung up about gender and what people have in their pants? Does it matter if I'm female or male to anyone other than Ace and me? Should it?
3. Did I use proper grammar in that last point? Should it have been Ace and I instead of Ace and me?
4. I need to post that email that made me laugh sometime. With the explanation as to why it was so funny.
5. Ace and I traded trucks. We love our new one, even if there are a few things we don't love about it it. It is so much better than the last truck. (I can drive this one without messing up my hip!)
6. I should post about weird/random/whatever things I've seen since I've started driving. (I have a weird story about a wheel. Short, but weird.)
7. Today kind of sucked. But we made it through the day without crashing the truck or yelling at anyone.
8. I had to pay a quarter to use a bathroom that didn't even have soap or paper towels (or a hand dryer) to clean my hands. That sucks.
9. I'm glad people are talking about depression and not just ignoring it. Why do we stigmatize mental illnesses? Are we afraid they are contagious?
10. I don't have a ten, I just like even numbers.
My brain is kind of active lately. But now I think it's time for a nap. Hopefully I'll get back soon with those posts.
Since I don't really have much in the way of coherent thoughts right now, here is a random list of what is on my mind.
1. Some people are really good at circumventing the rules. Sometimes it's impressive. Sometimes it's bad. (Ace is reading me a follow up article about a kid who got suspended for selling full sugar Pepsi. The kid figured out how to keep selling the soft drinks without breaking the rules.)
2. Why are we, as a society, so hung up about gender and what people have in their pants? Does it matter if I'm female or male to anyone other than Ace and me? Should it?
3. Did I use proper grammar in that last point? Should it have been Ace and I instead of Ace and me?
4. I need to post that email that made me laugh sometime. With the explanation as to why it was so funny.
5. Ace and I traded trucks. We love our new one, even if there are a few things we don't love about it it. It is so much better than the last truck. (I can drive this one without messing up my hip!)
6. I should post about weird/random/whatever things I've seen since I've started driving. (I have a weird story about a wheel. Short, but weird.)
7. Today kind of sucked. But we made it through the day without crashing the truck or yelling at anyone.
8. I had to pay a quarter to use a bathroom that didn't even have soap or paper towels (or a hand dryer) to clean my hands. That sucks.
9. I'm glad people are talking about depression and not just ignoring it. Why do we stigmatize mental illnesses? Are we afraid they are contagious?
10. I don't have a ten, I just like even numbers.
My brain is kind of active lately. But now I think it's time for a nap. Hopefully I'll get back soon with those posts.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Thankful
One of the things Gretchen Rubin wrote about in The Happiness Project was being grateful. Between that and the book Ace and I are reading about marriage (not the best book as we keep disagreeing with things said in it and our marriage is doing quite well, thank you), I have been thinking about how much I am grateful for how good a husband Ace is.
And they have caused me to reflect that I say "Thank you" to Ace regularly for him holding open doors for me. He prefers it when I let him get doors and I'm happy to let him, as I like it when he holds open doors. I almost always say "Thank you" and I always mean it when I say it. Sometimes it probably sounds like a subconscious statement, but it never is. I always appreciate his being willing to hold a door like a gentleman.
It's also caused me to reflect on the other things about Ace that I'm thankful for. The man takes such good care of me, even when I'm being cranky or grouchy. He cares and it shows. He cares more about our relationship and my well being than I sometimes give him credit for. Mostly when I'm being cranky or grouchy.
I have a wonderful husband who makes it easy to be thankful that he's in my life. He lets me tease him all the time and while he often teases me back, he never gets his feelings hurt by my teasing (not that I'm malicious). He is my hero. And he's very easy to get along with.
So, I am thankful for Ace. And I love him. Enough to make stupid jokes about silly books. And have serious talks about serious subjects. And to make plans for the future.
Thank you for being the best husband ever, Ace. Hopefully I'm at least as good a wife.
And they have caused me to reflect that I say "Thank you" to Ace regularly for him holding open doors for me. He prefers it when I let him get doors and I'm happy to let him, as I like it when he holds open doors. I almost always say "Thank you" and I always mean it when I say it. Sometimes it probably sounds like a subconscious statement, but it never is. I always appreciate his being willing to hold a door like a gentleman.
It's also caused me to reflect on the other things about Ace that I'm thankful for. The man takes such good care of me, even when I'm being cranky or grouchy. He cares and it shows. He cares more about our relationship and my well being than I sometimes give him credit for. Mostly when I'm being cranky or grouchy.
I have a wonderful husband who makes it easy to be thankful that he's in my life. He lets me tease him all the time and while he often teases me back, he never gets his feelings hurt by my teasing (not that I'm malicious). He is my hero. And he's very easy to get along with.
So, I am thankful for Ace. And I love him. Enough to make stupid jokes about silly books. And have serious talks about serious subjects. And to make plans for the future.
Thank you for being the best husband ever, Ace. Hopefully I'm at least as good a wife.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Happiness Is...
I am currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (along with 2 other books that I'm reading out loud to Ace as he drives and we're talking about). And it's got me thinking about what I can do to appreciate my life more as it stands.
I started reading it right now because there are several people's blogs talking about depression, and it was getting me depressed (Not that they shouldn't talk about depression, because they should talk about whatever they want to talk about. I just needed to focus on something else after that, and happiness seemed like a good option.). So, I decided to focus on something positive.
It's one of the first nonfiction books I've read in a while. Ace and I have been reading through fiction, which is wonderful, but I like nonfiction too. So, I'm in the middle of 3 nonfiction books at once. (Nicely, they are about 3 different topics, so they are easy to keep straight.)
I'm not unhappy. And I know I could probably be happier in general, but I'm pretty happy with life right now. Things are going well. I can replace my worn out clothes. My bills are paid and we're starting to not feel like our finances are tight. We're going to be paid on over 4,000 miles next week. Life is good.
But I'm doing better emotionally because I am focused on happier things than depression. I pulled myself back to the shore before it could get away from me. I'm doing good.
I am planning on spending some time looking into poetry after I finish The Happiness Project. I've never really appreciated poetry, and I'm going to work on seeing if I can find poems that I like (Besides The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, which has always appealed to me, despite the somewhat dark and depressing subject matter. Maybe it's the meter?).
I'm going to work on growing some. Exploring things. I may not ever love poetry, but I bet I can find some poems that speak to me. And worse case scenario, I waste a few days and find that poetry is truly not something I like. There are worse prospects.
I started reading it right now because there are several people's blogs talking about depression, and it was getting me depressed (Not that they shouldn't talk about depression, because they should talk about whatever they want to talk about. I just needed to focus on something else after that, and happiness seemed like a good option.). So, I decided to focus on something positive.
It's one of the first nonfiction books I've read in a while. Ace and I have been reading through fiction, which is wonderful, but I like nonfiction too. So, I'm in the middle of 3 nonfiction books at once. (Nicely, they are about 3 different topics, so they are easy to keep straight.)
I'm not unhappy. And I know I could probably be happier in general, but I'm pretty happy with life right now. Things are going well. I can replace my worn out clothes. My bills are paid and we're starting to not feel like our finances are tight. We're going to be paid on over 4,000 miles next week. Life is good.
But I'm doing better emotionally because I am focused on happier things than depression. I pulled myself back to the shore before it could get away from me. I'm doing good.
I am planning on spending some time looking into poetry after I finish The Happiness Project. I've never really appreciated poetry, and I'm going to work on seeing if I can find poems that I like (Besides The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe, which has always appealed to me, despite the somewhat dark and depressing subject matter. Maybe it's the meter?).
I'm going to work on growing some. Exploring things. I may not ever love poetry, but I bet I can find some poems that speak to me. And worse case scenario, I waste a few days and find that poetry is truly not something I like. There are worse prospects.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Can I Just Sleep for the Next Week?
I am having a weird day today. I'm not depressed, I don't think. I'm just... emotional? Or something. Other people's emotions are hitting me harder than normal. And I'm way too tired for someone who got plenty of sleep last night.
I am struggling with my own emotions some too.
My grandma is not as well as I'd like (not that I can do anything about that). My laptop, the one that my brain keeps telling me is mine, is supposed to be fixed and waiting in Tulsa, but I don't know when I'll get it (and then I have to add stuff to it all over again).
And people are fighting depression, and I get it and I love the posts about it, but it sort of feels like those posts are dragging me down, unintentionally. And I'd hate to find that talk about depression, even talk about things to pull you out of it, gets me depressed. That undertow would be nasty.
I am finally, after our time off, past my cold. And things are going well, financially, for the first time in years. The laptop thing? A minor blip for a few days. Seriously, we had to watch our spending from Monday until today, and now our bank account looks really nice again. It's been way to long since we've had that kind of financial security.
So, I'm having a weird day. The shoreline is not as steady as I'd like, but I can still see it. I'm not fighting an undertow. And I'm being cautious to keep that from happening.
I am struggling with my own emotions some too.
My grandma is not as well as I'd like (not that I can do anything about that). My laptop, the one that my brain keeps telling me is mine, is supposed to be fixed and waiting in Tulsa, but I don't know when I'll get it (and then I have to add stuff to it all over again).
And people are fighting depression, and I get it and I love the posts about it, but it sort of feels like those posts are dragging me down, unintentionally. And I'd hate to find that talk about depression, even talk about things to pull you out of it, gets me depressed. That undertow would be nasty.
I am finally, after our time off, past my cold. And things are going well, financially, for the first time in years. The laptop thing? A minor blip for a few days. Seriously, we had to watch our spending from Monday until today, and now our bank account looks really nice again. It's been way to long since we've had that kind of financial security.
So, I'm having a weird day. The shoreline is not as steady as I'd like, but I can still see it. I'm not fighting an undertow. And I'm being cautious to keep that from happening.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
An Update Mostly on Laptops
The good news is that it turns out that Ace and I had to share a laptop for very little time. And now we'll have a back up laptop if something happens.
The other good news is that even with the hotel, car rental, laptop, clothes (oh yeah, I've got new bits to my wardrobe), and food (for the hotel and the truck), we still have money in our account!
The only bad news is that Ace had to contact his old trucking company to get them to mail out his last paycheck to our mailbox, which was slightly annoying. But they owe him money, which is better than the alternative.
We did have a bit of a misunderstanding with the rental car company about how much car insurance was needed, but we got that straightened out and they didn't charge us extra for my one day of driving it (they were originally going to do that). So, that was wonderful and helped us afford the back up laptop.
I've still got to figure out if this laptop is my laptop or the one I mailed off is and which one will be the back up laptop. But that is much less annoying.
Each laptop is made by a different company and looks different. We kept meaning to get two of the same, but it kept not happening.
So, now we have 3 laptops for the 2 of us, except one is mailed off to Houston to be fixed. But that will be back soon enough.
The other good news is that even with the hotel, car rental, laptop, clothes (oh yeah, I've got new bits to my wardrobe), and food (for the hotel and the truck), we still have money in our account!
The only bad news is that Ace had to contact his old trucking company to get them to mail out his last paycheck to our mailbox, which was slightly annoying. But they owe him money, which is better than the alternative.
We did have a bit of a misunderstanding with the rental car company about how much car insurance was needed, but we got that straightened out and they didn't charge us extra for my one day of driving it (they were originally going to do that). So, that was wonderful and helped us afford the back up laptop.
I've still got to figure out if this laptop is my laptop or the one I mailed off is and which one will be the back up laptop. But that is much less annoying.
Each laptop is made by a different company and looks different. We kept meaning to get two of the same, but it kept not happening.
So, now we have 3 laptops for the 2 of us, except one is mailed off to Houston to be fixed. But that will be back soon enough.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Studying, But Not What I Expected to Be Studying
Well, I am obviously not getting any better about remembering to post while we are on the road. But, I have a good reason lately. I've been working on a project that spawned a second project.
It started like this: I was listening to a sermon that we had playing overnight. It woke me up, and I was awake, so I had little else better to do. In it, the teacher was talking about how his mother had typed up scriptures for the teacher and his wife to stand on when they were believing God for a child. And I thought, "I should look up scriptures to do that." So, I started doing that.
Well, then we took a week's vacation and I relaxed and didn't work on the list. But when we got back on the truck, I started back up. And then I saw a verse that I know I've read before, but it didn't quite hit me the way it did this time I read it. It was Colossians 3:21 and in the Amplified, it reads as "Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]"
So, I looked up all the things not to do to children and how they would become and feel if you did those things. Because words are important, and I wanted to clearly understand what God meant by that. And that lead me to I Corinthians 13:4-8, which is all about love. And I realized that we are supposed to be parents that live what is said about love, which would avoid all of those things.
Basically, I seem to be starting to get a lesson about parenting together, which will hopefully lead back to me getting together my list of scriptures on parenting. (In other news, I know at least one thing that God is obviously gearing me up for, at some point.
So, yeah. I'm over here (and there but maybe not there) doing research about parenting. (No, I'm not currently pregnant. I'm just finishing up my period, thanks for asking.) If nothing else, I should be well prepared when I do become a mother. But the timing seems to be right for doing all this research and getting this information together.
Nicely, I have at least one ministry that I've got CDs from that I know teaches about marriage and parenting. I'll go through all my CDs and make notes soon. I am going to have lots of information on hand about children and parenting. And maybe someday, I'll be teaching others what God and others have taught me.
It started like this: I was listening to a sermon that we had playing overnight. It woke me up, and I was awake, so I had little else better to do. In it, the teacher was talking about how his mother had typed up scriptures for the teacher and his wife to stand on when they were believing God for a child. And I thought, "I should look up scriptures to do that." So, I started doing that.
Well, then we took a week's vacation and I relaxed and didn't work on the list. But when we got back on the truck, I started back up. And then I saw a verse that I know I've read before, but it didn't quite hit me the way it did this time I read it. It was Colossians 3:21 and in the Amplified, it reads as "Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children [do not be hard on them or harass them], lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated. [Do not break their spirit.]"
So, I looked up all the things not to do to children and how they would become and feel if you did those things. Because words are important, and I wanted to clearly understand what God meant by that. And that lead me to I Corinthians 13:4-8, which is all about love. And I realized that we are supposed to be parents that live what is said about love, which would avoid all of those things.
Basically, I seem to be starting to get a lesson about parenting together, which will hopefully lead back to me getting together my list of scriptures on parenting. (In other news, I know at least one thing that God is obviously gearing me up for, at some point.
So, yeah. I'm over here (and there but maybe not there) doing research about parenting. (No, I'm not currently pregnant. I'm just finishing up my period, thanks for asking.) If nothing else, I should be well prepared when I do become a mother. But the timing seems to be right for doing all this research and getting this information together.
Nicely, I have at least one ministry that I've got CDs from that I know teaches about marriage and parenting. I'll go through all my CDs and make notes soon. I am going to have lots of information on hand about children and parenting. And maybe someday, I'll be teaching others what God and others have taught me.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Reflections
I'm in an odd mood right now. I think part of it is the fact that Ace and I finished the Harry Potter series on Wednesday and I'm not reading anything new currently. We'll be going through The Lord of the Rings trilogy next, but we don't get back on the road until Monday at the earliest.
Part of the issue is that the future is back up in the air again. Ace doesn't want to leave his current company while he is mad, so we've not talked to the company we think we want to go with next. I totally understand, and since we did get off the truck mostly on time I'm not going to try to argue the point.
On the plus side, we have enjoyed our time off. We got new glasses and prescription sunglasses. We replaced some clothes. We bought some toys. The only thing that would have been nicer would have been if I could have gotten the book I wanted (Good Omens, some day I will own you!). Well, that and our mail not getting lost in UPS's system (which has lead to one uncomfortable phone call to listen to already, and will probably lead to another).
So, I'm calling this vacation, the first we've ever taken, successful. Over all. And that's what matters.
Part of the issue is that the future is back up in the air again. Ace doesn't want to leave his current company while he is mad, so we've not talked to the company we think we want to go with next. I totally understand, and since we did get off the truck mostly on time I'm not going to try to argue the point.
On the plus side, we have enjoyed our time off. We got new glasses and prescription sunglasses. We replaced some clothes. We bought some toys. The only thing that would have been nicer would have been if I could have gotten the book I wanted (Good Omens, some day I will own you!). Well, that and our mail not getting lost in UPS's system (which has lead to one uncomfortable phone call to listen to already, and will probably lead to another).
So, I'm calling this vacation, the first we've ever taken, successful. Over all. And that's what matters.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Harry Potter Part 4
After taking longer than expected, Ace and I finished Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (this book had more days of delay than it should have).
Which means for the first time, we have the exact same amount of knowledge of what is going to happen. Namely, what was in the movies.
I am looking forward to Luna Lovegood.
(In other news, Ace made a Harry Potter reference today. It made me laugh. I love this man.)
Which means for the first time, we have the exact same amount of knowledge of what is going to happen. Namely, what was in the movies.
I am looking forward to Luna Lovegood.
(In other news, Ace made a Harry Potter reference today. It made me laugh. I love this man.)
Monday, January 21, 2013
Meet Me in St. Louis
I have the best father in the world. Seriously, no one else is even a contender for the title.
Yesterday, my dad drove me 5 and 1/2 hours to East St. Louis, IL to meet up with Ace and get on the truck. This is only part of the reason he is the best father in the world.
My dad has back problems. He is in constant pain, unless he is doped to the gills. He does not do long car trips if he can help it. When I got up yesterday, he offered to drive me because he knew Ace was delivering near St. Louis. He wanted to see me smiling again, which he got to see every time he looked at me in the rear view mirror yesterday. I'm still smiling.
My father, who should not be in a car for 11 hours, was in a car for 11 hours yesterday to let me be with my husband again. He sacrificed his day and his body to bring me happiness. I will never forget that. Never.
My step-mom also rocks. She came with us, so that if my dad was hurting too bad she could help drive home. She had work today, and she works with little kids (under 2 years old). And she's still recovering from surgery (she seems to be doing well).
Today, I am with Ace. We are on the truck. Tonight, we pick up a trailer full of candy to drive it to Colorado. I don't know if I would be with Ace today if my dad hadn't driven me up here (I did help pay for at least some of the gas for the trip, and it was the least I could do).
I got to see the St. Louis arch up close (we made a wrong turn, and ended up right by the arch). I got to share in a new experience with my dad and step-mom. And I got to join my husband.
I have the best father in the world. And no one can convince me otherwise.
Yesterday, my dad drove me 5 and 1/2 hours to East St. Louis, IL to meet up with Ace and get on the truck. This is only part of the reason he is the best father in the world.
My dad has back problems. He is in constant pain, unless he is doped to the gills. He does not do long car trips if he can help it. When I got up yesterday, he offered to drive me because he knew Ace was delivering near St. Louis. He wanted to see me smiling again, which he got to see every time he looked at me in the rear view mirror yesterday. I'm still smiling.
My father, who should not be in a car for 11 hours, was in a car for 11 hours yesterday to let me be with my husband again. He sacrificed his day and his body to bring me happiness. I will never forget that. Never.
My step-mom also rocks. She came with us, so that if my dad was hurting too bad she could help drive home. She had work today, and she works with little kids (under 2 years old). And she's still recovering from surgery (she seems to be doing well).
Today, I am with Ace. We are on the truck. Tonight, we pick up a trailer full of candy to drive it to Colorado. I don't know if I would be with Ace today if my dad hadn't driven me up here (I did help pay for at least some of the gas for the trip, and it was the least I could do).
I got to see the St. Louis arch up close (we made a wrong turn, and ended up right by the arch). I got to share in a new experience with my dad and step-mom. And I got to join my husband.
I have the best father in the world. And no one can convince me otherwise.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Make New Mistakes
This year, I've decided to take Neil Gaiman's advice from December 31, 2011 as my goal for the year.
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever."
So, that's my goal for this year. To make mistakes. Especially new mistakes. I've survived the consequences of my old mistakes. I've gotten wiser from them. My life is not necessarily gotten better for those mistakes, but I've gotten to be a better, more mature person for having to deal with them.
So, this year I think I'll make new mistakes. And I invite you to join me in this.
"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.
Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.
So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.
Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.
Make your mistakes, next year and forever."
So, that's my goal for this year. To make mistakes. Especially new mistakes. I've survived the consequences of my old mistakes. I've gotten wiser from them. My life is not necessarily gotten better for those mistakes, but I've gotten to be a better, more mature person for having to deal with them.
So, this year I think I'll make new mistakes. And I invite you to join me in this.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Wait, the World Didn't End
Okay, the world didn't end and I'm not dead.
But I do still appreciate all those people/groups who rock/make things that rock.
And my dad is pretty high on that list right now.
But I do still appreciate all those people/groups who rock/make things that rock.
And my dad is pretty high on that list right now.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Boring for an Apocalypse
There has been a distinct lack of world ending today. I realize the day is not completely over yet (at least not in my time zone), but we are pretty close to the end of 12/21/12 and there does not seem to be any ending of the world happening. At least not as anything more than internet memes and jokes.
But who says the Mayans were counting down to the end of the world anyway? Their calendar just ended. I never assume that the world will end on December 31st, a date when most calenders end each year.
Today was mostly filled with the same boring things happening. I cuddled with my dad and step-mom's dog (He's going to miss me when I leave) off and on. I ate more than I should have of the homemade candy my step-mom made (it was my breakfast today). I spent most of the day reading Avengers fanfic (I still need to see the movie).
It is the most boring way to spend the supposed end of the world. Although, world ending seemed unlikely, so it was a perfectly normal way to spend a Friday.
I did have a fun discussion about wanting an army of magical elves to combat the zombie apocalypse (for reasons) that lead to a Shawn of the Dead reference. I have some cool friends who play into my crazy thought life. It was also that kind of day, really.
And now, I'm going to go read more fanfic in a bizarre effort to convince myself that I should be going to sleep soon. Because my brain is a weird place.
But who says the Mayans were counting down to the end of the world anyway? Their calendar just ended. I never assume that the world will end on December 31st, a date when most calenders end each year.
Today was mostly filled with the same boring things happening. I cuddled with my dad and step-mom's dog (He's going to miss me when I leave) off and on. I ate more than I should have of the homemade candy my step-mom made (it was my breakfast today). I spent most of the day reading Avengers fanfic (I still need to see the movie).
It is the most boring way to spend the supposed end of the world. Although, world ending seemed unlikely, so it was a perfectly normal way to spend a Friday.
I did have a fun discussion about wanting an army of magical elves to combat the zombie apocalypse (for reasons) that lead to a Shawn of the Dead reference. I have some cool friends who play into my crazy thought life. It was also that kind of day, really.
And now, I'm going to go read more fanfic in a bizarre effort to convince myself that I should be going to sleep soon. Because my brain is a weird place.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Great Talk
Last night, my sister and I had a really great talk. We talked about lots of things and we shared things and it was like we have the kind of relationship that I've always wanted us to have.
The conversation, despite being 2 hours long, was not quite long enough. Because there was all sorts of nothings that we hadn't talked about yet. And hopefully, soon, we'll have another talk like that.
My sister is happy, which makes me happy. Things are going well for her. Her fiance seems to be a genuinely great guy. They talk about things, including stupid things that aren't important other than they are what cements a relationship together.
I know that one conversation is not going to make my relationship with my sister perfect. But we shared things that were personal. We found common ground. We understand each other. And that is huge.
She understands some of my decisions better, now that she's older and she has had some of the same experiences that I've had. It hurts to know that she has been hurt, because she's my sister and I love her. But she's strong and smart and beautiful, and some of that comes from growing after being hurt.
Last night, my sister and I had a great talk. And I'm glad it could happen.
The conversation, despite being 2 hours long, was not quite long enough. Because there was all sorts of nothings that we hadn't talked about yet. And hopefully, soon, we'll have another talk like that.
My sister is happy, which makes me happy. Things are going well for her. Her fiance seems to be a genuinely great guy. They talk about things, including stupid things that aren't important other than they are what cements a relationship together.
I know that one conversation is not going to make my relationship with my sister perfect. But we shared things that were personal. We found common ground. We understand each other. And that is huge.
She understands some of my decisions better, now that she's older and she has had some of the same experiences that I've had. It hurts to know that she has been hurt, because she's my sister and I love her. But she's strong and smart and beautiful, and some of that comes from growing after being hurt.
Last night, my sister and I had a great talk. And I'm glad it could happen.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The Dance Lesson
Once things settled down and repairs to Serenity had been completed, Jayne finally had time to start wrapping his mind around the fact that River had killed a roomful of reavers while only getting a couple of scratches and a bruise or two that showed up two or three days after the fight had been over. Jayne didn’t normally spend a lot of time focusing his mind on anything but on cleaning his girls, but this whole situation required some reflection. It wasn’t often that you resign yourself to death, especially one as horrible as the way he was expecting to die, only to find you’ve been saved by a slip of a girl. He had seen how she fought in the Maidenhead. He’d felt how good she was with a knife back before Ariel, not that he liked to think on either incident. She had fought with a grace he found odd. He didn’t know that fighting could be so graceful. His fights, while not totally awkward, had never flowed quite as easily.
Jayne had noticed that River was spending time in the hold and it looked like fighting that she was doing. He wasn’t supposed to notice her, he didn’t think, but how could he avoid seeing her when he was exercising? He didn’t stare, he just occasionally observed after he finished his exercising. He would sit on his bench, taking deep breaths, and looked around the hold. When she came into his field of vision, he watched for a couple of minutes before going to the showers to get clean.
If Jayne had bothered to ask River would had told him that she was dancing for the first time in years, since they had started cutting her brain at The Academy. River had noticed that Jayne was watching her. While she was working on blocking out everyone’s thoughts, as much as she could, she still caught a lot more than she liked. She had, well heard is the best word she could come up with, heard Jayne thinking on her fighting technique. She had never given any thought to how her moves might look to someone else, she had just moved in an efficient manner for stopping her opponent. In fact, she hadn’t really given her moves much thought; she just knew where to punch next. She had also noticed that Kaylee sometimes sat on the staircase, watching her dance. She was considering asking Kaylee if she would like to learn how to do some simple dances.
The next time River decided to dance, she noticed Kaylee watching her again. She decided that it was the perfect opportunity to teach her best friend how to dance. She walked over to Kaylee and asked her if she was interested in doing more than watching River dancing. Kaylee nodded with a big smile lighting up her face. River patiently started showing Kaylee the moves to a waltz. Kaylee caught on quickly and River switched to teaching her how to do a simple jig.
Jayne had started toward the hold when he heard the sounds of laughter. He wondered what was causing it. As he got to the doorway, he saw Zoe standing on the cat walk, smiling like she had when Wash had been alive. Jayne figured that whatever was causing the laughter must be a good thing, if it got Zoe, who had been walking around in a funk since they buried the funny little man, to smile it had to be good.
When Jayne got to the cat walk, he looked down at the two girls dancing. He quickly turned around and called to Zoe over his shoulder, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
As he walked off, he missed hearing the confusion as River suddenly stopped and looked up toward the doorway in shock. Kaylee was wondering why her partner was no longer dancing, and Zoe was looking between the doorway and the girls in shock. Then, as quickly as River stopped, she shook off her own shock and asked Kaylee if she would mind stopping right now and picking this back up another day.
Kaylee, concerned for her friend, said, “Of course. We’ve got plenty of time for you to show me how to dance.”
River quickly responded with, “I’ll be in my bunk. I’ve got some things to think over.” She had heard what Jayne had said, both out loud and in his head, and felt the need to mull over it for a while. It wasn’t often that a girl heard that she might be worth getting spaced over.
Zoe sighed as she saw the fun breaking up. She had enjoyed herself for the first time in a few months and was sad to see it end. But she did wonder what exactly River had heard that caused her to stop and feel the need to stay stopped for a while. She shrugged and decided to check back in the hold more often to see when the next dance lesson happened. Since she had just been randomly walking past when she came across it this time, she felt it important to try to see more, as it cheered her up.
Kaylee stared after River for two minutes before deciding to go find her boyfriend, Simon, for some talk and some cuddling. She was glad she found someone who liked to cuddle, as she enjoyed getting some human touch. As she left the hold, she ran her hands over the sides of the ship, giving her a pat while she had Serenity on her mind.
-----------------------------------------------------
This is a story I wrote a while back based off the TV show Firefly and its movie Serenity so any most references are to events in one of those. I do not own either, except as DVDs. I wrote this story out of a love for the show. I'm pretty sure this random bit of fluff came to me and demanded I write it at the time.
It is still one of my favorite things I've ever written. It makes me smile.
Jayne had noticed that River was spending time in the hold and it looked like fighting that she was doing. He wasn’t supposed to notice her, he didn’t think, but how could he avoid seeing her when he was exercising? He didn’t stare, he just occasionally observed after he finished his exercising. He would sit on his bench, taking deep breaths, and looked around the hold. When she came into his field of vision, he watched for a couple of minutes before going to the showers to get clean.
If Jayne had bothered to ask River would had told him that she was dancing for the first time in years, since they had started cutting her brain at The Academy. River had noticed that Jayne was watching her. While she was working on blocking out everyone’s thoughts, as much as she could, she still caught a lot more than she liked. She had, well heard is the best word she could come up with, heard Jayne thinking on her fighting technique. She had never given any thought to how her moves might look to someone else, she had just moved in an efficient manner for stopping her opponent. In fact, she hadn’t really given her moves much thought; she just knew where to punch next. She had also noticed that Kaylee sometimes sat on the staircase, watching her dance. She was considering asking Kaylee if she would like to learn how to do some simple dances.
The next time River decided to dance, she noticed Kaylee watching her again. She decided that it was the perfect opportunity to teach her best friend how to dance. She walked over to Kaylee and asked her if she was interested in doing more than watching River dancing. Kaylee nodded with a big smile lighting up her face. River patiently started showing Kaylee the moves to a waltz. Kaylee caught on quickly and River switched to teaching her how to do a simple jig.
Jayne had started toward the hold when he heard the sounds of laughter. He wondered what was causing it. As he got to the doorway, he saw Zoe standing on the cat walk, smiling like she had when Wash had been alive. Jayne figured that whatever was causing the laughter must be a good thing, if it got Zoe, who had been walking around in a funk since they buried the funny little man, to smile it had to be good.
When Jayne got to the cat walk, he looked down at the two girls dancing. He quickly turned around and called to Zoe over his shoulder, “I’ll be in my bunk.”
As he walked off, he missed hearing the confusion as River suddenly stopped and looked up toward the doorway in shock. Kaylee was wondering why her partner was no longer dancing, and Zoe was looking between the doorway and the girls in shock. Then, as quickly as River stopped, she shook off her own shock and asked Kaylee if she would mind stopping right now and picking this back up another day.
Kaylee, concerned for her friend, said, “Of course. We’ve got plenty of time for you to show me how to dance.”
River quickly responded with, “I’ll be in my bunk. I’ve got some things to think over.” She had heard what Jayne had said, both out loud and in his head, and felt the need to mull over it for a while. It wasn’t often that a girl heard that she might be worth getting spaced over.
Zoe sighed as she saw the fun breaking up. She had enjoyed herself for the first time in a few months and was sad to see it end. But she did wonder what exactly River had heard that caused her to stop and feel the need to stay stopped for a while. She shrugged and decided to check back in the hold more often to see when the next dance lesson happened. Since she had just been randomly walking past when she came across it this time, she felt it important to try to see more, as it cheered her up.
Kaylee stared after River for two minutes before deciding to go find her boyfriend, Simon, for some talk and some cuddling. She was glad she found someone who liked to cuddle, as she enjoyed getting some human touch. As she left the hold, she ran her hands over the sides of the ship, giving her a pat while she had Serenity on her mind.
-----------------------------------------------------
This is a story I wrote a while back based off the TV show Firefly and its movie Serenity so any most references are to events in one of those. I do not own either, except as DVDs. I wrote this story out of a love for the show. I'm pretty sure this random bit of fluff came to me and demanded I write it at the time.
It is still one of my favorite things I've ever written. It makes me smile.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Because Sanity is Overrated
Um, yeah. I didn't quite mean to ignore my blog for so long. Things have just been a bit busier for me lately than I expected. I've been trying to adjust my sleep schedule (not going as well as I'd like, as should be indicated by the time of this post). And around that I've been finding myself reading way too much fan fiction.
That and listening to songs that are a bit too depressing in content to be healthy for my mental state (I, however, seem to be in a good mood despite that).
And this is going to sound silly, after ignoring things around here for roughly 2 weeks, but I'm thinking of doing NaBloPoMo again. Because that's how I roll. Ignore my blog for October, post every day in November, and then go back to being random in posts in December.
Since I think the theme of thankfulness worked so well in the past, I'm going to go with a theme again this year. But not the same one. Instead, I'm going to try to post something fictional every day. Hopefully something not related to any of the TV shows I like, but I can make no promises.
Most likely, they will all be short, but it gives me a new way to stretch my writing skills.
Like I said in the title, sanity is overrated.
That and listening to songs that are a bit too depressing in content to be healthy for my mental state (I, however, seem to be in a good mood despite that).
And this is going to sound silly, after ignoring things around here for roughly 2 weeks, but I'm thinking of doing NaBloPoMo again. Because that's how I roll. Ignore my blog for October, post every day in November, and then go back to being random in posts in December.
Since I think the theme of thankfulness worked so well in the past, I'm going to go with a theme again this year. But not the same one. Instead, I'm going to try to post something fictional every day. Hopefully something not related to any of the TV shows I like, but I can make no promises.
Most likely, they will all be short, but it gives me a new way to stretch my writing skills.
Like I said in the title, sanity is overrated.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Time with Ace
Sorry I haven't posted lately. Been getting ready for time with Ace.
Won't likely post in the next couple of days. I've got Ace until Thursday at 8, so that's a bit more important right now. We're going to spend the next two days celebrating his time off and my birthday. We're getting a hotel room.
I should, hopefully, be in a great mood when I post again.
Later!
Won't likely post in the next couple of days. I've got Ace until Thursday at 8, so that's a bit more important right now. We're going to spend the next two days celebrating his time off and my birthday. We're getting a hotel room.
I should, hopefully, be in a great mood when I post again.
Later!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Sleep Returns
I feel like I've been a blog tease. I posted a couple of days in a row, seeming like I was going to be posting more regularly, and then I disappear for a week.
Mostly, it's because on about Wednesday, my body decided that it was finally ready to actually get 8+ hours of sleep at a time again. I would say night, but my sleep schedule is such that I'm sleeping during the morning right now.
But I am sleeping. And I'm feeling less exhausted in general. More inclined to close myself up in my room and hide, but less exhausted. I've missed getting enough sleep. I'm happy to finally be catching up.
And I'm starting to get that I need to start listening to classical music to help some with that. The times I've fallen asleep the fastest have been when I've been listening to classical music. It relaxes me so much. Even when I'm wide awake, listening to classical music just puts some part of me in a more calm and relaxed state. Especially Beethoven.
But I'm just happy, after several months of not quite enough sleep, I am finally getting there. Depression seems to have finally let go of the last bits it still had a hold on.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something on my Netflix queue to watch. This list has gotten ridiculously long and I'm still entirely too likely to find something else to add to it.
Mostly, it's because on about Wednesday, my body decided that it was finally ready to actually get 8+ hours of sleep at a time again. I would say night, but my sleep schedule is such that I'm sleeping during the morning right now.
But I am sleeping. And I'm feeling less exhausted in general. More inclined to close myself up in my room and hide, but less exhausted. I've missed getting enough sleep. I'm happy to finally be catching up.
And I'm starting to get that I need to start listening to classical music to help some with that. The times I've fallen asleep the fastest have been when I've been listening to classical music. It relaxes me so much. Even when I'm wide awake, listening to classical music just puts some part of me in a more calm and relaxed state. Especially Beethoven.
But I'm just happy, after several months of not quite enough sleep, I am finally getting there. Depression seems to have finally let go of the last bits it still had a hold on.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find something on my Netflix queue to watch. This list has gotten ridiculously long and I'm still entirely too likely to find something else to add to it.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
More Things I Love about Ace
Since I'm feeling all romantic and loving towards Ace due to our anniversary (not that I'm normally feeling not romantic and loving, it just doesn't normally feel this strong), I thought I'd share more things that I love about him.
1. He is a nerd. Such a nerd. He gets my nerdy references, or he asks about them. And he cares about my answers.
2. He listens to me ramble on and on about whatever I am currently obsessed with. Even if he doesn't care. (Okay, he occasionally tunes out the details, but he listens enough to know the subject.) He cares about my interests.
3. He makes me feel loved. Without really trying.
4. He takes care of the stuff that stresses me out.
5. He wants me to feel pretty. Because he wants me to see myself as he sees me. And he won't give up telling me that I'm pretty until I believe it all the time.
6. He wants to talk to me when we are apart. He wants us to spend time together as much as we can.
7. He got me to play WoW (World of Warcraft) and continues to get me to play WoW. I'm not always sure I like playing nearly as much as he does, but I like that he wants to do something with me that we both find fun.
8. He solves problems that I'm too close to. Easily.
9. He wants children nearly as much as I do. He wants children partially because I want them so much.
10. He's going to be such a great dad, partially because he's such a great husband.
11. He tells me he loves me everyday (baring lack of means to communicate). He thinks it's important that I hear it daily. He often tells me multiple times a day. And he never lets me say it without telling me he loves me back.
12. He loves me even when I'm not very lovable. He doesn't always like me then, but he still loves me.
13. He refuses to let us say things we don't mean and can't take back. And if I do say something hurtful, he forgives me for it. Every time.
14. He fills my heart with warmth and love. Just by being in my life.
15. He is willing to learn new things. He likes learning new things. He may not always be interested in what I am, but he is interested in learning.
This still doesn't scratch the surface of things I love about my husband. But it is at least a few more of the things that I love.
I miss you, sweetheart. I love you! Drive safely, watch out for deer, and take care of yourself. *kiss*
1. He is a nerd. Such a nerd. He gets my nerdy references, or he asks about them. And he cares about my answers.
2. He listens to me ramble on and on about whatever I am currently obsessed with. Even if he doesn't care. (Okay, he occasionally tunes out the details, but he listens enough to know the subject.) He cares about my interests.
3. He makes me feel loved. Without really trying.
4. He takes care of the stuff that stresses me out.
5. He wants me to feel pretty. Because he wants me to see myself as he sees me. And he won't give up telling me that I'm pretty until I believe it all the time.
6. He wants to talk to me when we are apart. He wants us to spend time together as much as we can.
7. He got me to play WoW (World of Warcraft) and continues to get me to play WoW. I'm not always sure I like playing nearly as much as he does, but I like that he wants to do something with me that we both find fun.
8. He solves problems that I'm too close to. Easily.
9. He wants children nearly as much as I do. He wants children partially because I want them so much.
10. He's going to be such a great dad, partially because he's such a great husband.
11. He tells me he loves me everyday (baring lack of means to communicate). He thinks it's important that I hear it daily. He often tells me multiple times a day. And he never lets me say it without telling me he loves me back.
12. He loves me even when I'm not very lovable. He doesn't always like me then, but he still loves me.
13. He refuses to let us say things we don't mean and can't take back. And if I do say something hurtful, he forgives me for it. Every time.
14. He fills my heart with warmth and love. Just by being in my life.
15. He is willing to learn new things. He likes learning new things. He may not always be interested in what I am, but he is interested in learning.
This still doesn't scratch the surface of things I love about my husband. But it is at least a few more of the things that I love.
I miss you, sweetheart. I love you! Drive safely, watch out for deer, and take care of yourself. *kiss*
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