The World Has Ended!

Just in case I was wrong, I'm writing a post about the end of the world. My biggest regrets: Not seeing The Hobbit and not getting to spend the last days of my life with my husband.

Okay, I would seriously hate both those things, but likely I just forgot that I put this on the schedule for today and I'm fine. Hopefully I'll remember to post after this to prove that I'm fine.

So, the world has ended. That sucks. Maybe it's not a full ending, but the Mayans have come back as zombies to take over and punish us for them all dying off. Maybe my imagination is sometimes morbid. I blame all the cop shows on TV and my love of watching them.

If Sherlock Holmes was real, I'd ask that he try to figure out how I died. I'm betting on either eaten by zombies (or would they avoid smart people?) or run over by some vehicle. If the Avengers were real, I'd ask them to avenge me (and if they can, the thousands of other people who have died as well).

And now, I'd like to thank the following people (or former people, depending on the nature of the end of the world) for making things rock and making things that rock: Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Wil "Don't be a dick" Wheaton, Martin Freeman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Julie Garwood, John Green, Hank Green, the George Lucas who shot the original Star Wars trilogy, the cast and crew of Firefly, Joss Whedon, the cast and crew of the Avengers, the cast and crew of any show/movie/comic/whatever that Joss Whedon worked on, Mark Gatiss, Steven Moffat, the cast and crew of Doctor Who, the people of ThinkGeek, my fellow bloggers, Ace, my family, my friends, and God.

That list is not in order of my gratitude. And it does not fully express my fangirl crushes on Martin Freeman (Seriously, one of the best actors, with one of the filthiest mouths, around. I've crushed on him since I saw him in Love, Actually.), Neil Gaiman (His writing is enough to make me like him, but his encouragement of writers has me seriously crushing on him), or Benedict Cumberbatch (Have you heard his voice? Or seen him? Or seen him acting? Or heard his lisp? There was no hope for me not having a crush!). Or how much I like stuff that Joss Whedon is a part of (Buffy the Vampire Slayer [show and movie], Angel, Firefly, Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog, The Avengers, Serenity, and I'm sure Dollhouse, when I finally watch it).

I shall miss all this stuff. Unless I'm still alive and just forgot about this post. In which case, I hope everyone ignores all this random stuff I'm saying, and instead sends me chocolate. (Don't ignore the plea for chocolate.)

Boring for an Apocalypse

There has been a distinct lack of world ending today. I realize the day is not completely over yet (at least not in my time zone), but we are pretty close to the end of 12/21/12 and there does not seem to be any ending of the world happening. At least not as anything more than internet memes and jokes.

But who says the Mayans were counting down to the end of the world anyway? Their calendar just ended. I never assume that the world will end on December 31st, a date when most calenders end each year.

Today was mostly filled with the same boring things happening. I cuddled with my dad and step-mom's dog (He's going to miss me when I leave) off and on. I ate more than I should have of the homemade candy my step-mom made (it was my breakfast today). I spent most of the day reading Avengers fanfic (I still need to see the movie).

It is the most boring way to spend the supposed end of the world. Although, world ending seemed unlikely, so it was a perfectly normal way to spend a Friday.

I did have a fun discussion about wanting an army of magical elves to combat the zombie apocalypse (for reasons) that lead to a Shawn of the Dead reference. I have some cool friends who play into my crazy thought life. It was also that kind of day, really.

And now, I'm going to go read more fanfic in a bizarre effort to convince myself that I should be going to sleep soon. Because my brain is a weird place.

NaBloPoMo Day 29

or I Quit

Dear Raid Team,
We've had fun these past few months. I enjoyed our time together. Part of me wishes I didn't have to say this, but here goes.

I quit. I like you. It is totally not your fault. It's just that right now life is more hectic than it's been in a long while. Ace is working, and working long hours. My shoulder and back are hurting more than they have before. We're trying to find a balance. I'm hoping we'll move out soon so I can start losing weight.

But something has to give. If it doesn't, I'll lose my mental and physical well being for a computer game. That wouldn't be healthy.

I don't know that I'll never come back. In fact, I've agreed, tentatively, to still raid with you on occasion. But I really can't devote 9 to 12 hours a week to this stuff right now. Life is pulling me in another direction.

I'll still see you, at least sometimes. I'll be working on other characters in game. I'm friends with more than half of you on FaceBook. We aren't going to fully lose touch and I'll probably be seeing you more than either of us expects. Hopefully I'll have good news for you all. Hopefully my shoulder will get a break.

But, for now at least, I quit. It's been good and I'll miss it.

Love,
M.A. Smith

NaBloPoMo Day 22

All my worry was for no reason. I kind of knew it would be from the start. I like this friend of Ace's. She's now my friend. Hopefully we'll be able to see her again soon and we can all get better acquainted.

My brain is just one that goes about 3 times further than it has to when thinking about stuff like this. I start off with reasonable questions (Will we find something to talk about?) and end up with totally crazy ones (Will she think I'm crazy and evil?).

That's probably the worst thing that happened with my mom's craziness, I over think things to an extreme degree. Every time I start thinking too much, it ends with me thinking that someone is going to hate me, FOREVER, for some minor thing. It's not healthy. It's not fair to anyone who is even minorly reasonable, which is most people.

On the plus side, knowing that this is a problem, I can start working on it. I can work on not assuming the worst case scenario. I can stop predicting the end of my safe world (at least, the one in my head) for every small thing.

I made a new friend. That makes me happy.

NaBloPoMo Day 21

Since Thanksgiving is this Thursday, I guess I should be focused on things I'm thankful for. Instead, today I'm focused on an old friend of Ace's from high school (old as in he knew her a long time ago, not old as in she's 80).

They are friends on FaceBook. She posted something recently about an event her daughter had and she invited people to come. Ace told her he couldn't make it due to previous plans. Once she found out it was his prayer night, she asked him to come to church with her (partially so they could catch up).

Yesterday morning, he went to church with her. I stayed home, mostly because of a sore back and desiring some time alone. Ace got home about an hour after the service ended, obviously catching up went well (the church is within a mile of my in-laws house, so I know travel time was practically nothing).

This evening, I will meet this friend. Ace has let me read the conversations they've had just so I know what is going on. He told me some about them visiting. He wants us to be friends with his old friend, something I'm fine with. From the sound of it, she needs a relationship with a guy who just wants to be friends.

Ace doesn't want to keep things secret from me. He would like it if she and I became friends. I'm hoping to make a new friend and get to know more about the past my husband seems to have mostly suppressed. I'm curious about this person who freely invites people to church, something I haven't always seen. I'm curious about what her kids are like (she has 2).

And while I'm curious about her, I wonder if she's curious about me. Did she used to have a crush on Ace and wants to know what kind of woman he married? What if she thinks I'm all wrong for Ace? Would she even care? What if I can't find things to talk to her about? What if I can't stop babbling? What if I make a complete fool of myself? Will any of these thoughts matter?

Obviously, Ace and this friend weren't that close in high school. I'd have met her before now if she was that important to him before. I've known Ace for over 9 years, been married close to 8 and 1/2, and yet my insecurities about meeting people he used to know well still come out. All sorts of stupid what ifs keep popping in my head. I'm over thinking this whole thing. Somehow, I imagine that I'm not the only one over thinking things. But I'm probably the only one awake when I should be sleeping because I'm over thinking things.

Later today I'll meet an old friend of Ace's. I hope everything goes well.

NaBloPoMo Day 5

or What Makes a Family Anyway?

The main book I wanted to pick up from the library Wednesday was a book called One Big Happy Family. It's a book with essays by various writers about different types of families you can find in these times. It's been interesting, and it's had me thinking.

What makes a family? Is it blood? Is it experiences? Is it living under one roof? Or is it love?

The common theme in the essays I've read so far has been one of love. The love of a husband and wife. The love of a parent for a child. The type of love that surpasses cultural challenges and societal norms for the areas they live in. The type of love that puts someone else's needs over their own.

The essay that has stuck with me the most, so far, has been one by a woman who is (or was) trying to figure out what her relationship with her son's nanny is now that some life changes demand that they are redefining things. Are they friends? Are they family?

How do we define family? How does someone go from stranger to friend to family member? I don't have answers to those questions, despite having it happen. In the absence of my extended family on my mom's side, I sort of made my own extended family. And yet, I can't say how these people, who mean a lot to me and feel like important bits of my family, came to be in that place.

Ace and I have been talking about various things that made me want to read about different types of families. It's probably a good thing. It makes me think, it makes me grow. And yet, it leaves me with questions.

How do we decide what makes a family?

Socially Awkward

I have come to the conclusion lately that my inner crotchety old person comes out when it comes to social networking. It's not that I'm a hermit, it's just that I prefer more hermit like living in general.

This spills over from internet into real life too. I have friends, good ones, but few that I feel I can tell just anything to. Mostly because most of my friends don't have the time to devote to talking with me on a large variety of subjects and connecting solidly with me to get me to the point where I feel like I've effectively built a close relationship. It's not their fault that my brain declares me to be a time-intensive person to have a close relationship, I totally understand them feeling that other things in their lives are more important, because they are. It doesn't mean that the relationships are lacking closeness, it just means there are topics that I don't discuss with them (always politics, religion and/or sex, depending on the friend).

That is really the only part that spills over from social networking sites. For the most part, I find that I'm fairly sure that I couldn't effectively communicate most of the time in only 140 characters. I find that when I do update my FaceBook status, it's usually with something silly and inane that means nothing in the long run. I am always forgetting to take my camera with me when I go to see people, so I don't have a lot of pictures.

It's not that I'm against social networking. I just don't see it as something that is important for me. I'd prefer an e-mail from my extended family. I'd rather take the time to go visit my dad and have a real conversation. I'd rather not obsess over which one(s) of my cousins is pregnant. Social networking may keep me more plugged into what's happening with my family, but there are some things I'd rather not know.

So, the crotchety old lady in me keeps waving her cane at the social networking sites and yelling for them to get off her lawn. She's connected enough, thank you.

God is Faithful

Despite the feeling that the second half of May was stormy and frustrating, I never did get caught up in the undertow and dragged down into depression. For that, I am truly thankful. I did feel, towards the end of the day on the 31st, that I had nothing left to give to anyone because people kept making demands of me, but I wasn't depressed. I was just tired.

It's been just over a week since then. I'm feeling better, now that I've had some time away from demands. I feel a bit more like myself. I'm still looking out for the undertow, because I remember how quickly it can drag me to places I don't want to be. I'm trying to find my peacefulness again.

Yesterday, Ace and I went to pray for a local ministry. While we were there, we got to fellowship with a fellow Christian. She gave us some money for a dinner out to celebrate Ace's birthday. She helped us see the brightness of our future instead of focusing on our current circumstances. She blessed us far more than she will ever know. And she kept telling us that we were blessing her too. She found it hard to believe that we are coming up on our 8th anniversary, because we are still so obviously in love.

Things like that are what help strengthen my relationship with God. Every time I think I've reached a breaking point, I find a new measure of strength. Every time I need encouragement the most, someone is there to encourage me. When I need hope the most, some how hope finds me. Every time I wonder if some part of my story is going to have a sad ending, I find that the end hasn't come yet.

I understand how having something that hurts you to the core, shakes everything you thought you believed, can pull you away from God. I understand how losing something you had been praying for, waiting for, hoping for can make you mad and hurt and not ready to be friendly with God. But I also understand how, when the time is done and you find out more of the story, God's mercy and love can be seen shining through.

Every time something tragic and painful has happened to me, I found that after it was over, my faith had grown stronger. Every time, I found out something that showed me how God was looking out for me. No matter how much the emotional storms are raging, God always finds a way to give me the compassion and love that I so desperately need to find my way through to the end. And every time I start feeling like giving up, I only need to remember the good things, no matter how small, that have happened in the past to find the strength to carry on.

I know what it is to hurt. I know what it is to face loss. I know what it means to be broke and hungry. And all of those things have made me a stronger person. I have found that my God is bigger than my circumstances. He loves me. He never lets me walk alone. And during all those times, He has helped me find peace.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Phil. 4:13 KJV

In Which a Line Is Thrown

I struggled the past few days. I've been fighting off depression and doubts about myself that had been creeping up on me while I had been distracted with something else. They are sneaky like that.

Anyway, I had been trying to go to some services of a conference at a local ministry the past few nights. I skipped Wednesday night, because I was busy fight off cramps and trying to find center emotionally (my period seems to have arrived a week early, I think). It wasn't a time for trying to focus on my spiritual side. Thursday, Ace and I went to the service, and I started crying twice before the actual service started. We left before the actual service started too, and I cried part of the way home. After we got home I cried some more, and then Ace and I talked and I started to feel better.

Friday, I wasn't sure I would make it through the service. Instead, I stayed home and watched it online (something I didn't think about doing on Wednesday). I managed to make it through the whole thing without crying, so I had hopes for Saturday night. I did realize that I needed to go Saturday, no matter what. So, Saturday comes and we go to the services. We got seated on the end of a pew (which was nice because I ducked out once to try to get my emotions back under control). I had clearly been remembered (Who would forget the one person carrying a throw pillow?), since I was asked if this seemed like it would work better for me. Over all, I did well. I only cried once and didn't bother anyone when I cried.

At the end of the service, I talked to some people who greatly helped me start feeling better about life in general. One of our friends offered to put us up in their home when/if we ever go down to visit them (they live in Mississippi). In fact, they said all we needed to do was pay for the gas to get down there, so we're hoping to make it down there sometime before the year is over. Then, we talked to another friend who obviously was extremely concerned about how I have been doing. She recommended some things and I'll be taking her advice to heart.

After probably floundering around emotionally, draining both my spiritual resources and my emotional ones, I finally have a line guiding me back to the shore. I have a feeling that I got exactly what I needed from the services tonight. It helped to be reminded how much God loves me, from multiple sources. I may not be where I want to be emotionally or spiritually (or physically) yet, but I now know how to get there from where I am at. And that makes all the difference.

And That's Why We Must Move Soon

Monday, I spent the day baby-sitting for my friend Karen (remember, she's my massage therapist/friend). Overall the day went well, with only a few brief problems. I was happy that it was to be a one day only affair (instead of something happening for the better part of two weeks). I got home that evening and was tired.

During the afternoon, Karen came back by her house for lunch. She invited us to go to a church with her sometime soonish. She's the second person to do so in the past month. She pointed out that it was probably God trying to get us to go back to church regularly, but understood when Ace pointed out that the only alone time we get is during church hours (he whispered it so that her kids wouldn't hear). She totally gets why sex is an important part of marriage.

But, I do agree with her. God wants us in a church. We want us in a church too (we even have a church in mind). We just need to get out of my in-laws house.

"I Understand"

I'm beginning to get tired of a two word phrase in my vocabulary: "I understand."

It's not so much that I have a problem with this phrase as much as I have a problem with what it ends up meaning for my life. It means that despite someone telling me they would be somewhere or do something, it means they have some excuse as to why they can't/won't do it. It means they don't feel my time is as important as theirs is. And it's been going on for most of my life.

"We won't be coming because I don't want to upset your mother. After all, I have to live in the same town as her." I understand, but you don't know how much you hurt me with those two sentences. I've never gotten upset with you over seeing her, why should she get upset over you seeing me?

"X is sick." Okay, this is a legitimate excuse and thanks for not bringing a sick person around me.

"We're going to be out of town." Another legitimate excuse, told to me long before someone worrying about potentially upsetting my mother.

"We've got a cross-country trip this next week so..." 2 extremely young kids (one under 3 months old), okay it's kind of legitimate. Still painful.

"I've got so many people calling me for answers." And we're trying to help take that problem away, if you would just do the promised training!

I'm reaching an emotional breaking point, I can tell. And it's not anyone in particular who is going to push me over the edge, it's just seems like this whole thing is a never-ending demand that I just put up with one more person who wants something from me without finding out if I can handle it. I'm trying to hold on to my control, but I'm feeling it slipping some. I'm concerned that something innocent and stupid is going to cause a huge reaction from me that is totally out of proportion for the request and that I'll end up alienating someone who truly cares because my emotions are too messed up right now.

I'm doing my best to be patient and wait for the better times I see so close. I'm doing my best to drop my stress load. I'm doing my best, but it doesn't seem to be enough right now. I don't think my recent rash of reading tons of non-fiction books one right after another has helped any either. I think I need to finish the two books I currently have from the library and then Ace and I can have a talk about where I should go from there.

I'm tired. I'm tired of always being understanding, while at the same time feeling bad that I feel this way. I've been pushed too much for too long and I'm hanging on to the end of my rope. I'm practically exhausted emotionally, and I don't think I've got the space to express myself adequately (and I know I don't have the words). I'm tired and I'm hurting emotionally and no one but Ace seems to want to let me heal before making more demands/requests. I'm tired of people treating me like a doormat and deciding that "I understand" means "I approve" when it doesn't.

Unbridled Joy

Today, Jenna made an announcement. Since I found out, about 5 minutes ago, I've been unable to stop smiling.

In the past, I may have had mixed emotions. But knowing her story, I'm filled with nothing but joy. Unbridled joy.

I'll say it again: Congratulations to the entire Woestman family! Ace and I are thrilled for you.

Dreams That Probably Won't Come True

I've talked about it before, but it's been a while. I sometimes dream of other bloggers. The other night I dreamt of Jenna & her husband Joey. And while I'd love to actually meet Jenna sometime, my dream is really unlikely to come true.

I dreamt that she and I were taking college classes together (no clue what classes we were taking, or why, just that we were taking classes). When we got to one of our classes, Joey was teaching it. Jenna kept trying to get me to talk to her, and I kept trying to get her to be quiet so I could hear what Joey was saying (I don't talk during class, I listen). Joey decided that he would have to separate us during class in order to keep us quiet and dream me just wondered why I was being punished when I was trying to listen.

It was an odd dream. But Jenna and I were having fun in it, which is always a good thing. I doubt that Jenna talks during classes, but she did in my dream. I doubt that Jenna and I will be taking college classes together, and I really doubt we'd take a class Joey was teaching, but I've had odder dreams that have had parts come true so I make no guarantees.

I'm Sensing a Theme

Okay, now that all my thoughts have stopped tumbling, I think I'm ready to say something. I don't know how much it will be worth, but it'll be something.

I have a cousin who is a nurse. She recently became a certified acute care nurse practitioner. She works in the critical care unit of some hospital. She wrote about the value and quality of life on her blog. It was an interesting post, and it was a post from a point of view that I'm sure doesn't normally get expressed, that of a care-giver with medical training, mostly seeing people who are dying everyday around them. It was haunting and sad and beautiful. And I could never do it justice trying to explain it.

Shortly after reading that post, I read an update about Anissa Mayhew, who is slowly recovering from a stroke (her second). I, unfortunately, had never heard of her before that happened. I've read some of her writing since then, and found someone who I could truly respect as a person while laughing at what she has to say. Her husband is keeping all her internet followers (new and old) as up to date as he can while not neglecting Anissa or their three children. I'm happy to say that she is doing better, even if she's got a long way to go before she's fully healthy again.

Then, another short while later, I read about Jenna and her IVF treatments. How Jenna and Joey are hoping that they will be able to celebrate a pregnancy very soon. And, I am hoping that they will too. And I'd say more about Jenna, but every time I ever try, my brain stops and I just wish there were some way for me to give her a hug. Besides, I could never try to retell Jenna's story, because it's her story to tell and she tells it so well.

And it hit me, all these posts jumbling around in my head, they are all about medical stuff and showing how precious life is from three very different points of view. From someone who fights for her patients lives (even as they die), to someone fighting to get back to her normal life, to someone trying to create a new life (or two).

It's reminded me that life is special and fragile. It's reminded me that people are tougher than they look, despite how fragile life is. And it's reminded me that life is worth fighting for.

Friendships Come and Go but the Love Still Lingers

My cousin has a post up that has be bothering my head since I first saw it towards the beginning of the month. She mentions that if she's ever loved you for a second she'll love you forever.

It's not that I don't believe that, it's just that I don't think she and I would see eye-to-eye on how to show friends that love. All the various friends I've had over the years, the ones that were there at the time I needed them, but that I've not kept in touch with, seem to come to my mind when I read that. It's not that I don't still care for these friends. If I saw them, I would definitely greet them warmly and ask them about how they are and truly care to know the answer.

It's just that I understand how you don't always need to keep the same people as friends for the rest of your life. You aren't always going to be as close to those people as you once were. Sometimes, you need the friend for a time and it's time to let each other go. It's not that you stop caring, it's just that you are in different stages in life. Sometimes those stages just don't allow your former closeness to remain.

The hardest lesson I learned after Ace and I married was that I was no longer the same person with the same concerns as I had been 6 months earlier when I was just engaged. The people I had spent 3 or 4 years being close friends with weren't at the point that they could see things the same way I was now seeing them, because they didn't have a spouse whose input was just as important as their own when making decisions. It hurt to find that these people who I thought I'd be friends with for at least a while longer were people I could no longer fully relate to. And while we could use a shorthand for inside jokes, it wasn't really going to be the same. It was time to start making new friends with people in the same stage of life I was now in.

I'd love to know that all those friends are happy, but the past friendships, no matter how near and dear to my heart, weren't enough to make me stay in contact. I realized that they were important to me, but they were in my past. Still loved, memories still cherished, but the relationships times had passed.

Waiting, But Not

Oh people. This is a weird time. I'm waiting on several things to happen. The only thing I'm not waiting on is to find out if I'm pregnant or not (not).

I'm waiting for Karen & her new husband to get home from their honeymoon to pick Guillermo back up.

I'm waiting on my period to end, even though it just started.

I'm waiting on DVDs to come in the mail from Blcokbuster (Get Smart, for the laughs).

I'm waiting on Ace to get off work, even though his work day just started, so that we can be together again.

I'm waiting on the other big change I know is coming, but I'm not sure when it will get here.

And, while doing all this waiting, I'm trying to remind myself that there is more to life than just waiting. Because lately (and by lately, I mean most of the past year), that seems to be all I've been doing.

On the plus side, I've never been so patient.

Excitement Barely Contained

Tomorrow, Karen is getting married. Oddly, this has required a bit of planning on my part that has nothing to do with her wedding plans. Mostly planning when I am going to do certain things.

Today is laundry day, which doesn't mean a whole lot, but it's also the day we are getting Guillermo back to dog-sit him until they return from their honeymoon, which meant that I had to put the lock back on the gate. Tonight, after Ace gets home from work, I'm making a run to Wal-mart to buy some nail polish (and possible a sleep mask, if I can find one). Then, I'll come home and paint my nails.

Tomorrow, I get to get up, shave, iron my skirt and Ace's shirt, and then try to relax for a couple of hours until it's time to go. Then, we get to put Guillermo outside and go watch our friend get married (she has said that she's putting us to work when we get there, so I'm not quite sure when we should get there).

So, I'm excited over here. I'm containing my excitement, but just barely.

TTFN!

P.S.: I'm waiting, as usual. Waiting gets kind of repetitive after a while, so you can see why I don't constantly talk about it each month.

A Short List

Or The Latest News from Me in Convenient List Format

1. Not pregnant. Hate hormones. Hate cramps. Chocolate bars seem to help.

2. Our financial stuff makes me want to hide in my bed. Not a good thing.

3. Between the Coke I drank around dinner time and the temperature, I had a couple of problems falling asleep. I'm going back to refusing caffeine in all it's forms (except chocolate and Midol, when needed) again.

4. I'm ready for some cooler days, which will hopefully be happening soon. Weather.com is promising cooler weather, I just hope they are right.

5. We have to have plumbers come out and deal with our pipes, as the lack of water drainage in the kitchen is ridiculous. Hopefully, we can do that soon.

6. Had dinner with Karen and her fiance and all their kids (4, all under the age of 8). Guillermo went with us and was a hit. Wanted to bring the youngest home with us as he was cute and sweet and adorable. Plus, he had blond eyelashes and big blue eyes. Resisted temptation.

7. Enjoyed the chicken fried steak (without gravy) that was made though.

8. The Cokes they had were made in Mexico with real sugar, and it reminded me of going down to Mexico on mission trips (we did construction to churches, it was hard work and lots of fun). The only real breaking point on the memory is that their bottles weren't scratched up any from being washed and re-used.

9. We had banana pudding for dessert. Now Ace and I need to go buy some banana pudding ice cream.

10. You don't pronounce the g in banana pudding. If you really want to go for it, you call it Nana Puddin'.

So, now you know what's been going on (and mostly about dinner last night).

Trying to Find Distractions

Today, I tried to find some things to distract myself throughout the day.

My friend, Jenna, is going through a hard time right now, and she had to have surgery today. I distracted myself so that I wouldn't focus completely on that all day long (it didn't fully work, I checked her blog for updates all day and was relieved to see posts up with her seeming to be doing well after surgery).

I did, as good friends should, send her some e-mails of encouragement (and faith), sent an e-card to help cheer her up, and left her comments on her blog, trying to let her know that I care. And I got her to laugh, mainly because when I was up in the middle of the night last night (as I seem to often be), I sent the Bible quote I meant to, but attributed it to the wrong book of the Bible.

I'm hoping that the rest of her May and mine will go much better, and that her physical problems are all corrected so that she only has to deal with the emotional aspects of what has happened.

Jenna, I'm here, willing to listen, if you need someone to pour yourself out to and Joey isn't around (because he has work or school or if you just want someone else to say it all to). And if you would like me to just try to find silly things to send you (or even just more Bible verses), let me know. Anything I can do to help, I'm more than happy to do.