Ugh!

This morning started, as most of the mornings since the 16th have, with an alarm going off at 5:30. I then went about getting ready for my day at school. Everything was fine, until roughly 6:30 when I took some muscle relaxant and pain reliever. Then, my stomach violently revolted. I kept them down, but I wasn't really sure I would.

Ace called us in sick (he stayed to take care of me, he's feeling fine) and I laid back down. I ended up taking two naps this morning. My stomach is feeling better-ish. I'm not feeling like throwing up right now, but I doubt I'll be up for school this afternoon either.

Ace's mom is slightly upset that he's staying home to take care of me. I'm not pushing him one way or the other, although I did tell him he could go to school if he wanted. He'd rather take care of me and not work for a company that would rather him leave his wife uncared for if this is going to affect our chances for a job.

Hopefully this is just somewhat of the tail end of some heat exhaustion I suffered yesterday. Although, my continued desire for more sleep is annoying me to no end. I went to bed last night at 8:30, so my body had plenty of sleep when I first got up. I guess if it still wants more, I must be fighting something off.

On the plus side, we were mostly ahead of our classmates (the people who started when we did). We aren't likely to be too far behind them with missing one day. And worse case scenario, we have to wait an extra day or two to take our driving test. We should still be out of here in a few weeks and my sanity should remain intact. Now if my stomach would just cooperate.

Dear Wil Wheaton

Dear Wil Wheaton,
Hi. How are you? Is life treating you well? I hope it is (it seems like it is).

This is my letter of girlish glee at how cool you seem to be. Even playing a mean version of yourself isn't enough to stop my inner nerd fan girl (who probably comes out way more often than she should) from loving you a bit.

If it weren't for the fact that I am completely in love with my husband and you seem to be absolutely devoted to your wife (That Soft Kitty video was adorable!), I'd ask you to marry me. Instead, I'm asking you to be willing to let me continue to get all excited. Continue to not be a dick in real life (and you can continue to be a dick all you want in fiction, because you do it well). Continue to be willing to make fun of yourself and to introduce your fans to new, completely nerdy things. Because being nerdy is cool, and not in some hipster ironic way.

Basically, I'm asking you not to change. At least not in any deep fundamental way. Keep being the guy who encourages other guys to not be dicks. Keep advocating for everyone to be able to feel comfortable playing games, whatever their gender. Keep making fun of Wesley Crusher, because he kind of deserves it. Keep encouraging us to think of Sparks McGee and remember him in Wesley's place.

Thanks for not being a dick.

Love,
M.A. Smith

P.S.: I can't decide how much I love Chaos or hate him when he shows up on Leverage. That's good work.

Overwhelming

Has it only been two days since I've last posted? It feels like longer.

Sorry, Ace and I have just spent two fairly intensive days in a classroom learning things we need to know to go take a written test on Thursday so we can start learning how to actually drive the trucks on Friday. And the first things we get to practice? Backing up (only the hardest thing to do), something that the manual produced by the state of Oklahoma tells you to avoid doing if at all possible.

The changes that are about to be happening are slightly overwhelming. I'm excited, and tired, and nervous, and ready to be done with all this training and on the road with Ace, and some small part of me is freaked out because my life is about to change drastically (also, I keep noticing weird things happening to random body parts, probably because I need more sleep and less caffeine).

I'm not overwhelmed by all this information (although, it is a little overwhelming). I'm overwhelmed by all these emotions (and some fatigue, I'll be honest).

Life as I knew it has been changed forever.

Making Plans

Ace and I have been talking, a lot, about our questions about truck driving. It's not the driving part that has us asking questions, it's the other stuff.

"Do they charge for taking showers at truck stops?" "Should we buy laundry detergent that we'll have to figure out how to split while we are in training? Or just buy the smallest bottles we can find and hopefully finish them up quickly after training is over?" "How often will we have days off?" "How often do you think we'll be able to go grocery shopping?" "If we pay this and do that, how much do you think we will have saved up at six months? a year?"

We're trying to get things organized and figure out what we need to take with us when we go for on the job training. Obviously, we'll need clothes, and I'm taking my pillow, but do we need sheets for while we're in training? We obviously will need to eat, but are we going to be driving trucks with food in them or eating out for the most part while we're in training?

On the plus side, we still have over 3 weeks to find answers to most of these questions. We're already planning the purchase of my cell phone, so Ace and I can talk to each other when we are apart during training. We know what phone we are getting (and it's cheaper than when I first found it) and it's not something my in-laws can complain too much about.

I'm excited about our changes, but I'm nervous too. What if I hate driving a truck? (After about a year, it may not matter, because we may make changes that would let me be a housewife again.) What if I suck at it? (Okay, the trucking school wouldn't let me go take a test yet if I suck at driving, but still.) What if I find I can't do it after we've invested all this money into it? (How would that be different from my degree in Accounting, other than the fact that truck driving school is shorter and less expensive?) My questions are most silly and should be all answered in just a few weeks. But they are there for now.

In all this, Ace and I have been doing a lot of talking about our future. And this is a great opportunity for us to pay off all our debts, while leaving our monthly expenses low, and maybe even start investing for the future. We'll still get to spend a ton of time together, and we're planning on getting a wifi hotspot in the truck so we can still get online while we're on the road. Things are looking up. So, I refuse to let my questions keep me down. For every argument I could make about how this could blow up in our face, I've got about a dozen more about how this is the best decision for our current circumstances (and the biggest thing is that we'll be on our own again, so I won't have to deal with his parents' brand of craziness on a regular basis).

Look out USA, here we come.

Blackmail

Well, after a long (LONG) talk with Ace's parents a little bit ago, we think they are going to help us with truck driving school. He and I do not have high enough credit scores to get a loan in just our names, but his parents can afford to either co-sign on a loan (at almost no risk to them) or just pay for the class outright. They seem to be likely to do one of those.

But they are using our need of some help as a means to blackmail us into do things for them (we should be out of here in a little over 4 weeks, so it seems silly to us). If their requests were too big or too unreasonable, we would have been much more likely to just decide to ask my dad.

I hate being blackmailed by these two. In fact, I've pretty much decided that after we have finished paying them back all that we owe them, I'm cutting them out of my life. If Ace wants, he can have a relationship with them, but I'm pretty much through. They've burned all their bridges and used all their chances. I have better things to do with my life than to spend it placating people who obviously don't really care for or about me and probably regret that I married their son. There are much more positive and uplifting people who want to see Ace and I succeed in life and be happy that I would much rather spend time with.

I'm frustrated and somewhat angry and I should have been asleep a while ago, but this talk was apparently more important than anything else this evening.

Please tell me I can make it.

Decisions

Ace and I have spent most of the last week trying to decide between two job opportunities. We've finally made our decision and hopefully we'll both enjoy it greatly.

We are going to truck driving school. We're going to get our CDL licenses. We're going to be team drivers. We are going to see lots of the highway system in this country.

I don't know how often I'll be posting this year. On the plus side, I should have a few more actual adventures and a few less whiny posts about my in-laws. I can hardly wait to get started.

Accomplished

Dealing with my in-laws is always enlightening in some way. Sometimes it's enlightening to know just how long I can bite my tongue before I have to get away from the situation or say something insulting. Sometimes it's enlightening to know just how different my upbringing was to Ace's. Sometimes it's enlightening to know just how little faith they have in their son to do something with his life.

Easter dinner, which was a new thing for me to experience with my in-laws (I'm pretty sure in years past they've just gone out to eat). The meal itself went fairly smoothly. My sister-in-law dominated the conversation about the relatives of celebrities, which was interesting and kept the conversation light (something I was thankful for, I love my sister-in-law). The food was fairly good, although I still find the idea of adding melted Red Hots to the rub for the ham odd (it didn't taste particularly cinnamon like, so it seemed kind of wasted).

Then came my mother-in-law reading out stuff about her family's history to my niece. Weird, but fitting with the ancestor theme from lunch and not something she was forcing Ace and I to participate in. When we went out to get some pie (key lime and some other flavor, both good partially because they were store bought), things got a little weirder.

My mother-in-law's ancestor owed some money to a John Smith. We don't know which John Smith, and it's not like the name immediately points to someone specific (there is no more of a generic name). I have no clue why it was important enough to be written down, but I feel that way about how many cattle, bed warmers, and acres of land her ancestors had too (also all written down). It was interesting to ponder that maybe it was the John Smith that knew Pocahontas, but given that I don't know what years this ancestor lived, it's hard to say either way.

Then my father-in-law pipped up that Darrell wouldn't be in the record books because he doesn't owe money to anyone famous. That's true, we don't owe money to anyone with any kind of name, but that's not really important. My father-in-law has decided that his 31 year old son will never do anything important enough to make history because he hasn't yet. It's not like Ace's life expectancy is 40 (in which case, he could make history but he'd have to hurry up to do so), so it's kind of silly to declare him past the point of potentially making history.

I'm not saying that I think Ace will be well known in the history books. I don't know. I don't really care. But I hate that my father-in-law thinks it was an appropriate thing to say. If Ace and I took him seriously, we might as well lay down and not move for the rest of our lives (which would be considerably shorter if we did lay down and not move) because we obviously are going to be stuck in the same position we are in (or only slightly better than where we are now) for the rest of our lives. At least, that's the implication we are getting off of what he is saying.

And you know what? My father-in-law is unlikely to make history. He hasn't so far, and is much closer to the end of his life than Ace and I are to the end of ours at this point. Maybe he's just jealous that we have more time to make history. But most likely, he just doesn't believe in his son. And that is sad.

It Feels Passive-Aggressive to Me

Lately, Ace and I have been using real dishes (instead of paper plates) to eat off of. We ran out of bowls, and most of the food that is bought for us to eat requires a bowl to be eaten (ravioli, soup, chili). All that means that we are constantly using up the available bowls.

Lately, the dishes seem to be piling up if Ace doesn't do them. I recognize that we are suddenly adding to the dishes pile (and that should hopefully stop soon), but we are not the only ones who are using dishes in this house.

We are starting to get the impression that Ace's parents want him to take over doing the dishes (because God forbid his father do them?). It's frustrating on our part, because they won't just come out and say they want us to do more around the house. In fact, about the only things Ace isn't doing is cooking them dinner, doing their laundry, or doing most of the actual cleaning (scrubbing toilets, dusting, vacuuming). I sort of get the impression that if my father-in-law thought he could get away with it, he'd have us do their laundry too.

If they would just say something to one of us, we'd have a better idea. I think part of the problem is that we've been leaving our door shut more lately (they've been loud and we've wanted quiet more). To get back at us for the perceived problems from their point of view, they are being passive-aggressive about chores around here (or at least dishes). (They also seem to think that we can just make Ace get a job offer by wanting it enough. Because that's the reason we are still living here after almost 2 years, because we just don't want to be on our own and supporting ourselves enough. *Scream*)

And now I'm going to relax and breathe and remind myself that Ace and I plan on getting out of here as soon as possible.

The Mouse Problem

Last week, I discovered very quickly how used to my personal mouse I was. After 10 minutes trying to use a similar mouse, I realized I was getting frustrated. My mouse has two extra buttons on it, one to move pages forward and one to move them back (great for internet browsing, I tell you), and apparently they have become vital to my mental health in the few months that I've had this mouse.

So, Ace's desktop temporarily had two mice at it. I used my mouse when I was on, and he used his mouse when he was on. It was working just fine for us, if looking a little silly. Until his mouse suddenly died.

At that point, we had my working mouse and his non-working mouse at his computer, the cord for my laptop on the way, and no way that I am going to just let him keep my mouse when I get my laptop back (because I need it for my mental well being, remember). And our only back-up mouse was being used by my father-in-law because his mouse had died and we didn't use that one.

Ace's parents have bought a mouse (we are using it, because it was way too difficult to explain whose mouse we were replacing to my father-in-law). It is a plain, simple mouse, not one like Ace and I have been using recently, but it works.

But it seems strange that just as we are fixing my problem (at no cost to us, nicely), we suddenly have another problem. It's been way too crazy with technology all of a sudden around here. On the plus side, I think we may have hit the end of those problems for a while. But I think a new keyboard for Ace maybe something we consider in the near future.

Independence

This morning, about 5 minutes after 11:30, the doorbell rang. By the time I got the door opened, there wasn't anybody there, but there was a package with my name on it.

I have a cord that can charge my laptop again! I am back to being independent of Ace's computer, a fact we are both grateful for. Now I can take however long I want doing whatever I want and not feel like I'm frustrating him any.

Nicely we only had to share a computer for a week, and I got caught up on some magazines while I was on an internet diet. My stack of things to read is currently smaller and will probably be ignored for a day or two, while I revel in my laptop again.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the mouse situation (because we seem to like having computer issues pop up one right after the other).