Goals

Earlier this month, I set myself some goals for each day. Nothing hard, only a few that are potentially time consuming, but all important for me.

I'm reading Proverbs everyday, as well as reading the Gospels and reading along with a church Ace and I were going to when we lived in Springfield (although, right now they are reading the Gospels, so I'm reading 2 chapters of the Bible a day Mon-Fri and 1 on weekends). And I read my Bible chapters before I look at anything else online (I like the flexibility of the versions I get reading the Bible online).

When I get up, I'm doing my shoulder exercises (except the last Tuesday and Wednesday, because of the bed stuff). They usually take me less than a minute, but should help my shoulder a lot.

I do a lot of surveys and I'm now trying to do that as I find them in my e-mail so that they don't stack up (that has also fallen slightly off track because of the bed stuff). This is one of the time consuming things on my list, but they don't really take that long if I do them everyday.

I am trying to focus on listening to Biblical teaching everyday during the news, and following along in the Bible while the are teaching. This has been a little too hit and miss since I went to visit my dad last week, but I now have space in a cleaned out bedroom to be able to do that. This is "time consuming", but it's using some of my abundant free time, so I'm fine with that.

I'm also trying to write something, somewhere everyday. That's part of the reason I'm posting here more often all of the sudden. It's important to be in the habit of writing, since I'm a writer. So, I'm getting into that habit. It's probably the only habit that didn't suffer from this bed situation (I'll tell you the rest of that story later).

The only other things on my list of goals are things for me to pray about. The big one for me is that I'm praying for my Mom's happiness. I do want her to be happy, and that's something that I've struggled with some. It took me a long while to realize that it's okay for me to want her to find something that makes her happy. I'm starting to hope that happiness with spread throughout her life and make lots of changes there.

Anyway, right now, for the time being, those are my goals. Hopefully doing these things daily will make an impact. Hopefully spending more time in the Word will help me to spend more time living the Word in the rest of my life. Hopefully it will help me grow discipline in the areas of my life that need discipline. Hopefully it will help me heal emotionally from the past.

The Pain Means Something

A long while back, I said something about doing exercises to help my shoulder. My intentions were good and I truly meant to exercise it, but I got distracted with other things.

The past few days, Ace and I have been playing with a Wii. It's been exercise for my shoulder, which is good. I've also been doing the exercises I should have been doing all these months.

Because of all this exercise, my shoulder is hurting some, but in a good, healthy way. I'm feeling the burn of muscles that are trying to recover from being broken down and built back up. The pain, while it's slightly uncomfortable, is sweet because it means that I'm helping my shoulder. The pain has a good meaning, and for that, I'm truly grateful.

My Shoulder Will Eventually Be Better

Or: Why I'm Currently Torturing Myself Everyday

Okay, so I'm not really torturing myself, but it kind of feels like it after I'm done (when my shoulder hurts some and the muscles just want to be relaxed for a long while).

Ace and I talked yesterday to my chiropractor about what we could do to make my shoulder better to where I won't wake up with a sore shoulder and needing to not do much for a day because I rolled over in my sleep and hurt it, again.

His suggestion was to do some exercises for me to do to help strengthen my rotator cuff to help. He also mentioned that they will help try to fix my shoulder while I'm there for my back too. He also suggested that some of my problems were possibly from scar tissue, and thus would never fully be the same as it was before (I'll be more likely to re-injure it more easily now), but these exercises should, hopefully, allow me to sleep without hurting myself just by rolling on my side.

But for now, until the muscles are built up, I'm hurting doing them (it's been 2 days, and they are sore right now).

I did, teasingly, ask Ace if my shoulder was looking more buff now. His comment, "After 2 days?" And then, I'm pretty sure we both laughed.

P.S.: I blame the dog for my shoulder hurting. I know that I'm partially to blame, but I'm also the one that still hurts some, thus he gets the blame. That's the fair way to split it up, right?

On Birthdays and Waiting

Today is Ace's birthday. He turns 29 today. His plans, after work, are to work out some (at work, then he'll shower) and help me take a bath by heating up water on the stove so that I can have a warm bath and actually get clean (at least, that's the only plans I know of for sure).

Other than that, I am waiting. Hopefully, in a couple of days, I'll be able to give Ace a great birthday gift. Either way, we'll be happily celebrating our 6th anniversary later this month.

So, for now, I'm waiting. On Ace and on other things.

It's a good thing I've developed patience.

Later.

Trying Not To Be Down

This whole job search thing has really hit me hard emotionally.

Okay, I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me.

I wake up each morning, and I feel crappy about the fact that I haven't gotten much response to sending out my resume. All it makes me want to do is hide in bed with my blanket over my head and hide until it all goes away.

It's got me back to feeling insecure and stupid, things that I normally don't feel.

And part of me is tired of fighting those feelings off.

I'm trying so hard not to be sad or to look down on my short list of job experience. I'm trying hard to tell myself that it just takes time, I'll find something, that God has already made a way and I just need to look for it, that we'll be fine until I do find it.

But today, it's getting to me. I know that I've sent my resume out to Monday-Friday jobs and so that's part of the reason I'm not hearing anything.

It's not just this job search. I'm also feeling frustrated because my aerobics class is kicking my butt (or rather my knees and hips). I knew my muscles would hurt, especially the first couple of weeks, but my joints aren't supposed to be feeling so sore and tender. So, I'm having to rethink this and possibly go for a water aerobics class (or just spend some time swimming laps or walking in the pool) or something that will be easier on my joints.

So, if I'm sitting in my house on a Saturday afternoon, trying not to cry and feeling overwhelmed by life, you can hopefully understand that I'm trying to not be down. But I don't think it's quite working right now.

P.S.: It would help if the dog was not quite so annoying right now. Unfortunately, he doesn't (or hasn't) gotten that, so he's been yelled at a lot over the last 24 hours. And that doesn't help the situation any either.

Losing Weight?

My stated goal right now is to lose weight, but tonight it didn't seem like that was the goal.

After Ace got home from work, he grabbed a little cash and ran to the convenience store because I was craving some peanut M&Ms (I don't usually like peanut M&Ms, but today I wanted them... but just a small bag). Then he came back home and I ate my M&Ms and he ate a brownie (because that was what he was craving) and we felt happy with our small bits of chocolate for Valentine's Day.

Then, we started watch The Princess Bride (we intended to watch it last night, but that didn't happen). After about 2 minutes, I paused the movie to ask what we were planning on doing about dinner. I was wanting us to cook a frozen pizza (what is up with the unhealthy foods I was wanting?) and Ace wanted us to eat this macaroni mix thing we made yesterday (Mac & Cheese, hamburger meat, corn, peas, and diced tomatoes with oregano and other spices). About halfway through, I started the oven for the pizza (because that's what I should be eating, right?) and Ace put it on a pizza stone and put it in the oven.

Then, around 9:30, he realized that I hadn't eaten any of the mix, which he cared about because it would help my body build the muscles back up (because they have been sore today, I really shouldn't have pushed myself quite so much Thursday). So he fixes me a bowl of it and I ate about half, possibly more.

When he went to buy my M&Ms, he got me 2 small bags, in case 1 wasn't enough. So, I've now eaten half of that.

Why do I get the feeling that Tuesday's aerobics class will probably go totally toward working off the excess food I ate tonight?

And shouldn't that bother me some?

Later!

Dear Body

Dear body,

I'm happy to see we've already started loosing weight. I wasn't sure how quickly the weight would drop, as at first it took a while to build up. 5 pounds already, and with only a minimum of soreness and stiffness too!

However, we have got to talk. Why isn't 7 and 1/2 hours enough sleep? You let me wake up just fine at 9:00 am, but then you want to go back to sleep for another 2 hours. Why? Have I done something wrong?

And why, today, do you feel the need for even more sleep? Did I not pamper you with extra sleep? Am I not trying my best to move you enough to loosen up the muscles while still giving you plenty of rest to repair those same muscles?

Please, let me know what the issue is so that I can fix it quickly as I don't care for all this extra sleeping if it isn't necessary.

Love and kisses,

MA

P.S.: Yes, I plan on buying more oranges when we go grocery shopping today. I know that you've been craving them and I'm happy that you want something so healthy and yummy.

Setting Goals for the Next Year

I have a few goals for the next year.

1. Lose 50 pounds. This isn't impossible and it's better than a goal of "lose weight" as I'll know when I've reached my goal.

2. Read through Proverbs 12 times.
a. Try to learn something new each time I read it.

3. Cook at home more and eat out less. Finances should make this easier.

4. Read all of Pride and Prejudice. I've started it, now I just need to pick it back up and read it (maybe next month when I've got to go in for jury duty).

5. Eat more fruits and vegetables and less junk. Also, drink more water.

6. Join a gym and go regularly to exercise. An aerobics class twice a week probably won't do enough to see a weight loss of 50 pounds.

7. Stop feeling the need for things to be even to be finished.

So, these are just a few of my goals (starting on number 7 right now). So, now I've just got to stick with it.

TTFN!

P.S.: I've had jury duty before and I'm not looking forward to having it again. I'm hoping for time to move by quickly and I'm hoping not to be stuck on a criminal trial again.

My Second Aerobics Class

I didn't forget my promise to talk about my aerobics class today.

Well, I went, despite my sister's visit, to my second class. I was sore before I went and, not surprisingly, it hurt to do some of the exercises. Most of them didn't really hurt, but the squats and some of the leg lifts hurt a lot. And I almost teared up during the crunches (I skipped the last 4 of them, as I couldn't handle it any more).

So, my arms and legs, while slightly tender, aren't too out of shape. My butt, abs, and right hip on the other hand aren't doing quite as well. I still have trouble with keeping my breathing even throughout the class, but I did remember to bring water with me and was able to push myself throughout class, even though I'm glad to not have to go back until next Tuesday.

And really, if that's as bad as it will ever be, I can handle it.

So, now you know how I did/am doing with my aerobics class.

TTFN!

My First Aerobics Class

It's been a long while since I've worked out. Tonight, I felt how out of shape I am. I was trying not to huff and puff through the entire class (which happens when you're the newest member, but is frustrating when you are also the youngest member). It wasn't completely physically demanding (my body felt fine other than when we were doing crunches), but I ran out of breath waaaay too easily.

At the end of the class, the instructor asked if I'd be back. I assured her that I would be and thought that hopefully next Tuesday will be easier (Thursday this week will probably be harder, because my muscles won't be quite ready for moving that way again, but I'll push through the pain. Also, I plan on taking pain killers before the class on Thursday.).

So, I survived and felt pretty good at the end of class. I'm not excited about tomorrow, but I feel pretty good over all.

Besides, tomorrow I have Ace to encourage me to push through the pain (and to take things to dull/stop the pain). We plan on grocery shopping and I have a load of laundry to wash (mostly, so the clothes I worked out in today will be cleaner and not stinking up my garage).

Well, I'm going to go. My arms are feeling kind of heavy right now. Besides, I've got snuggling to do before Ace goes to sleep.

TTFN!