I Hate My House!

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I don't completely hate my house. But there are things about it that I hate.

Right now, the plumbing is my biggest issue. Something is keeping my kitchen sink from draining properly, and this is most evident when we load/run the dishwasher. When loading the dishwasher, I have to wait at least 30 minutes for the sinks to empty out again so I can run the dishwasher. When I run the dishwasher, there better not be anything in the sinks, as they fill nearly full with water draining from the dishwasher.

In the one bathroom we use, the sink also has minor drainage problems. It fills up a bit while the water is running, but clears out quickly afterward. The tub has no drainage problems currently. It drains quickly and I've noticed that I'm never standing in water up to my ankles during a shower (that's happened before).

I want to move. This house no longer feels like my home. But for now, I'm stuck here and I hate things about this house.

But I can deal with them, and at least they don't stress me out.

Later.

Trying Not To Be Impatient

So, I've sent my resume to several places. I've filled out online applications. And now I'm waiting (and still looking some).

How long do you wait before deciding that a company isn't going to get back to you?

It's not been that long since I started looking, I know that. But I'm frustrated that this seems to be taking so long. But I'm trying to be patient (something that hasn't always been a strong point for me).

Of course, I'm starting to get used to waiting. It doesn't mean I like it, but I'm getting used to it.

So, this is me, trying to be patient and trying to keep busy.

TTFN!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I'm trying very hard not to conclude that life hates me.

Last night, I got reminded how bad a situation with my uncle is (he did something really stupid, now he is going to have to pay for it). And I spent a good amount of time trying to stop focusing on that and to just focus on breathing. I was up until at least 2 am (I've been going to sleepy by midnight lately).

Then, this morning, at 7:30, a reminder of past financial mistakes by Ace came pounding on the door (literally pounding on the door). And my stress level jumped up again. Ace has told he to trust him and God with those situations and just focus on finding a job and breathing in and out.

Normally when I find myself at the point I'm at emotionally, it's because I've been focusing on the wrong things and I've drifted off. This time, I got caught by an undertow that I wasn't aware I was anywhere near. I'm treading water, waiting for some help from Ace who, hopefully, can see the shore.

And I'm cranky because I got less sleep than I need, and can't seem to relax enough to take a nap.

So, for today, I'm focusing on breathing in and breathing out, because that is all I can handle.

Later.

Good News

Today, Ace and I got some good news. When we got a new tire for our car, we were told that it needed repairs. Our friend came by that evening and checked it out and said it should be okay.

Well, today we went by and talked to our mechanic. He mentioned what we should notice if the particular problem they mentioned actually happened. Since we have none of those particular problems happening with our car, the tire place was wrong and trying to do more work than they were asked to do.

So, the good news is that our car is not broken. We'll probably need to get it fixed someday, but not right now.

It's nice when things go your way.

TTFN!

Stress Less

Yesterday was an example in dealing with stress for me.

To be perfectly frank, I was wishing to sink into a bottle of alcohol to forget what was happening around me by noon. That desire had me promising myself not to drink if at all possible (I stayed completely sober, and tried to find less stressful things to surround myself with.

Around 10:30 yesterday morning, Ace and I went to get a new tire put on our car to replace the one that shredded itself off on the way to jury duty. We got there and found it would be at least an hour before we could leave. While they were changing the tire, they discovered that we needed some work done to the car.

When we got home, we discovered that Guillermo decided to throw a fit by getting into the trash. Ace cleaned up the mess while I focused on breathing and relaxing my body. Ace then did some research on what needs to be fixed on the car, and found it should be quick and inexpensive to fix.

None of the events of yesterday were particularly stressful in and of themselves, but when added to all the other stress (especially from jury duty this week) I felt the need to drink or crawl into bed for the rest of the day (I did head to the bed to relax and watch some James Bond).

Because of the mounting frustration yesterday, I've decided to stress less. I recognize that I probably won't be able to get fully stress free, but I can work on not stressing myself out. I can work on stopping for a moment when I'm feeling frustrated and breathe for a few moments until my stress level drops. Because I know that nothing good will come from continuing to carry around the stress.

TTFN!

P.S.: I haven't expressly been trying to have nothing but serious posts lately, but I guess I've been in a reflective mood and that has come out in my posts. Maybe soon, I'll be posting about something on the lighter side of life.

Expectations

I've been watching Martian Child and something hit me. One of the characters said "Why can't you be what we want you to be?" and I realized that I really, really dislike that question.

And it's not the individual words that bother me. It's the intention behind it.

Expectations are difficult things. Not all expectations are bad, but not all expectations are good either.

My biggest struggle with expectations is when other people are frustrated with me because I didn't behave how they want me to.

And I'm not perfect about this myself, as there are times I expect Ace to know how I want him to act or what I want him to do when he has no clue where to even start to meet my expectations.

But the biggest thing, the picture I'm still slightly struggling to fully see, is that I shouldn't expect things of other people, including Ace. Because what I think others should do and what the should do may be on totally opposite of each other. And I don't have a right to sit in judgment of anyone but me (except if I'm serving on a jury, but then the government is requesting me to judge someone's actions).

So, I'm going to try (the key word here is try) to not form expectations of other people and to only form reasonable expectations of myself.

And all I can ask, is that other people be patient with me, as I'm sure to mess up some as I'm trying to change. But, I'm trying and that should be important. And I'll try to remember that you are probably trying too.

And maybe, if we all try and try to remember that others are trying, then just maybe we'll make this world a better place.

We'll just have to see.

Focus

Sometimes, I think I focus on the wrong things.

For example, sometimes I focus on what I see are my flaws. I focus on how those things are wrong or bad or whatever it is that they seem to be. If I do this too long, I start feeling like I've drifted away from me and I realize just how much the words of the past are still affecting me.

Sometimes, I focus on the right things.

Some days, I focus on other people. I focus on what I can do for them, even if they never know that I am around. I focus love on them and try to ease their burden, even if it's just by reading what they wrote and sharing their pain so it is lessened. Sometimes, I share with them my thoughts, as knowing that we aren't the only ones going though something less than pleasant helps.

I try to see the right things. I try to focus on them. Because focusing on those things keeps me from drifting towards other people's wrong expectations of who I am and what that means.

I'm trying to break out of my own expectations of the labels I give things. To see people as they are and who they are trying to be instead of as a label. To focus on walking in love and easing others' burdens. To be who God wants me to be.

But, I am a work in progress. I'm not perfect. I mess up.

And I'm still trying to be okay with those last three facts. To incorporate them into my view of myself. To not get too disappointed when I make a mistake or take a misstep. Because I need to not be so hard on myself, or I'm focusing on the wrong things.

Today, I will focus on the right things. I'll focus on the things I'm grateful for. I'll focus on how Ace and I can help each other out.

And, I think I'll focus on making some garlic bread. Because that sounds yummy.

TTFN!

Day 3

Today was a much better day. I got out of the jury pool for the case that was stressing me out. Then, I went down to the jury waiting room, and at 11:20, they announced that they were done with us for the week.

I should still get paid fully for today, I don't have to listen to a case that will scar me emotionally, and I get to spend time with Ace while he is still off for his "weekend".

The only bad things that have happened today are 1. I got 5 hours of sleep last night, so I'm pretty much running on empty right now and 2. on the way to the courthouse this morning, one of our tires shredded on the highway. We got it changed (okay, Ace and someone who works in an official capacity for the city/state got it changed) and I made it to the courthouse before I absolutely had to be there.

And now, I'm going to take a nap. Later, I'm going to find out when Karen can give me a massage to drive away the last little bit of stress from this whole process. I should sleep much better tonight.

Later!

P.S.: I totally hope that the guy whose jury I didn't feel capable of being on will have a fair trial. The biggest reason that I didn't want to be on the jury is that I wasn't sure I could be totally fair and not let my emotions get in the way.

Day 2

Today was not the best day.

Today started off well. I woke up on time, I got clean and got dressed and made it to the court house on time (early enough to snag a seat on a sofa, which is much better than a seat on an uncomfortable chair). I got through several more chapters of Pride and Prejudice and wondered where I might be by the end of the day if I didn't get called upstairs.

I got to see a grown woman (with kids!) throw a hissy fit because she wasn't excused to go home even though she was excused from the case she was called up for. It was funny/scary/annoying.

Then I got called for a case. And then I got to hear what the case was about. Then I got asked questions (as did several other people who were called upstairs). And by the end of the afternoon, I was fighting off the desire to just emotionally freak out in the courtroom (I think I was fighting off a panic attack, but I'm not sure).

And when Ace and I got home, I broke down and cried. Twice.

My plan tomorrow, is to ask to be removed from that jury pool. I obviously can't handle the case emotionally. I'd rather take the chance on a different trial.

Can it just be Saturday now, please?

Day 1

Today, I survived my first day of jury duty.

Actually, it wasn't that bad overall. I ended up reading the first third of Pride and Prejudice (and now that I'm used to the writing style, it is totally a good read and if the next two days end up like this one, I'll finish it quickly). I did not get called up to any jury pools.

But, on my way home, I got stressed out about the traffic I was driving through. It was partly because I was tired and just ready to be home and partly because Ace and I didn't have good enough communication between us for me to know that he was already home and I could just drive straight here.

On the plus side, for the next three days, transportation is not my concern. Ace will be driving me to and from the courthouse. All I have to do is sit there and read (unless I get called up to a jury pool, then I'll have other things to do for at least a little while).

But it would be nice if, when I got home tomorrow, I had nice things to greet me (other than a huge hug from Ace, because that is a given).

And if you have any tips on how not to get stressed when driving, I'm all for reading them.

TTFN!

On Oranges

Right now, I am eating an orange a day. I didn't set out to start eating an orange everyday, but it's been working out that I have been. And for now, it works.

Ace is happy with my current fruit of choice, as oranges are not that expensive. I'm happy because they taste good, are good for me, and are satisfying an craving for oranges (which I never expected to have).

(I'm trying hard right now to focus on things like my enjoying oranges and not me starting my period today. It doesn't quite seem to be working.)

I've gotten pretty good at peeling the oranges quickly and then spend my time on enjoying the orange itself. It's become my own little pre-bed ritual. Sometime near my bed time, I eat an orange. Not a long ritual, granted, but it's mine.

(Is all this talk about oranges working for you?)

(Me either.)

(I'm going to go now.)

Well, I've got things to do. Plus, I think this post has lost it's point.

Later!

And The Wackiness Changes Course Again

Because I was just starting to get used to not being exhausted, today I'd like to take a nap. Although, I didn't quite feel like sleeping from the moment I woke up. There has been some pieces of the day today where I felt awake.

The most important parts that I was awake for were when I was separating out our ground beef for freezing and eating later (over 9.5 pounds of meat, we won't run out for a while) and applying for a job. I also got half the dining room table cleaned back off to separate out the meat.

On the job application part, they asked me to apply after seeing my resume online! That bodes a lot better than someone who I'm chasing down. Also, they will pay what Ace and I were hoping I could get, so it's promising... and would feel more so, if I didn't have jury duty next week.

But, we are thinking positively right now. This will go somewhere and jury duty won't be a problem.

Have I mentioned that I'm feeling less stressed now? Yesterday, with all the energy and sunny warmness distracting me, I forgot to mention that my stress over jury duty seems to have disappeared. I am wondering, though, if the people who work for the court system ever get called up for jury duty.

In addition to feeling somewhat sleepy again, I'm also getting all mood swingy too. My emotions have been set to roller coaster, I think. I think roughly knowing what's going to happen next week is part of what has me less stressed, but it's got me thinking of other things like, will I have to go to the court house next Friday (please say I'll be done by then)?

But, Jenna getting upset by someone (and being slightly vague about who) left me worried that I said something stupid and hurt her (I didn't). And that possibility, and the fact that she felt hurt, got me feeling all upset that she was upset yesterday (Jenna, don't you dare feel bad that I got upset, or we'll never get out of this stupid cycle). But, some cuddle time with my teddy bear, and some music, have helped me feel better. The only positive thing out of that situation is that I realized that my emotions are going slightly wild.

Well, now that I've talked for a long time over what amounts to very little, I'll go.

Later!

To Taylor Swift

Dear Taylor,

You don't mind me calling you Taylor do you? You seem like such a sweet girl, so I doubt that it's a big issue (if you do care, let me know).

Tonight, I saw the episode of CSI that you did. I was very impressed. You did well. It was interesting to see how they had your character change through the year, with a different look each time she was seen.

I love your songs. Whenever one comes on that I know, I sing along (which is so totally not fair to your wonderful voice). It reminds me of being a teenager and trying to fit in/find love. And I think those songs will take you far.

I'm just hoping you stay on top of your career and around trustworthy people, because I'd hate to see the stresses of fame cause problems. I also hope you don't take any criticism too seriously, because there are people out in the world that will say hateful things because they are jealous. I don't understand those thought patterns (you being talented doesn't take anything away from me, so I just enjoy the fact that you are able to share your talent with the world).

I'm impressed with many of the decisions you and your family have made. You dress well while still being appropriately covered. You seem to know that teens and pre-teens are looking up to you, and it shows that you care when you make sure you are a good example of how to dress and act in public. And for this I appreciate you all the more. You do all the right things and avoid all the wrong things, which is something that most girls your age seem to struggle with. And that encourages me to follow your career so that I can show my future children that they can do what they love and not bend just to follow others examples.

So, as a future mother, I just really want to say, "Thank you, Taylor Swift. Thank you for being a good example, and for making that important in your life. I know it's not always easy, but it is important and people do appreciate you for doing so."

And as a fan of your music, I say, "Keep them coming, please."

Love,

M.A. Smith

P.S.: I love Our Song and Love Story. I'm also impressed that you write or co-write all of your songs.

And the Wackiness Continues

People, it's been wacky over here for me.

Last night, I was up until 4 am. You would think that I'd be exhausted today, dragging myself out of bed and forcing myself to stay up until tonight so I start sleeping like a normal person. You would be wrong. I don't know if it's the extremely warm weather (It's in the 70s with a high in the 80s. It's fantastic for me, but really wacky too.) or if it was the movie last night or what is going on, but I'm feeling wide awake and wonderful and like I've finally gotten enough sleep.

I'm still not interested in even coming near chicken, but my stomach seems happy again. And while I totally enjoyed my movie last night, I only teared up a little at the scene where the shop is closed for good.

So, after a few days of really odd behavior, I'm still experiencing odd behavior (but it's positive odd behavior, so I'll take it).

Just so long as nobody tries to make me feel bad for putting soap in my dishwasher a while before planning on running it, we'll all be good (weird dream).

TTFN!

Confusion

My body and I are on different wave lengths right now. It wants to sleep, can't stand the thought of chicken, and oddly would like me to watch You've Got Mail and cry.

I would like to stop feeling so tired, usually love chicken, and actually wouldn't mind crying at You've Got Mail (okay, we agree on one thing). Except that I really want to skip some of the movie, because I think it's entirely too embarrassing (I get embarrassed on behalf of a fictional character. It's ridiculous!).

On the plus side, egg rolls seem to be fine.

And the longer I wait, the more I think I know what may be the cause. And the more that happens, the more I'm slightly nervous, because I'm not sure I'm ready for my dreams to start coming true (I'm not 28 yet, right? I'm 23 and a newlywed, right? What do you mean the wedding was 5 and 1/2 years ago?). And while that would make me extremely happy, the idea is freaking me out some right now (it's the unknown aspects that have me freaking, I can promise you that).

So, tonight I focus on egg rolls and movies and potentially crying. And tomorrow, I deal with what comes then. And the same for every day after.

TTFN!

Zzzzzzzz

The past two days, about the only thing I've wanted to do is sleep (today, it's really all I've wanted to do).

I'm not quite sure why I'm so sleepy, but I've not really been trying to fight it (except with sleep). Between that and not being quite sure what to say, I've not posted.

That's what's up here. I'm sleepy and tongue-tied.

Later.

P.S.: We had Tuna Alfredo, if you were wondering.

My Big Question of the Day

Well, it's more like my big question for dinner tomorrow night, but here it is:

Should I have Tuna Alfredo or Chicken Alfredo?

In case you're wondering, yes we like Alfredo sauce here, but that wasn't really the main reason for my question. We have a tuna Alfredo mix and a chicken Alfredo mix and since we can't have any hamburger mixes (we have no hamburger) they are the most likely thing to fix for dinner tomorrow night.

So, I welcome your input (if I had any idea how to make a quiz, I would, but I don't). Ace's suggestion was to find out which one takes less time and make that, but I'd like at least one other opinion on the matter (and I don't currently have one).

TTFN!

P.S.: I sent my resume to six potential places to work yesterday (I sent it to 8, but 2 are already ruled out). I'm waiting to hear, but it may be Monday before that happens. So busy waiting.

Questions

I know that it is fairly common to reach some points and have questions.

Right now, I'm at one of those points.

Ace and I are discussing whether or not he should be a househusband for a little while should I get a job that will pay significantly better than his current job. I'm not against it, I'm just not fully sure how I feel about it at this point.

We have discussed, briefly, that should I get pregnant he would be a stay-at-home dad after my maternity leave would be over. And that throws me, as I always assumed that I would be a stay-at-home mom.

Of course, nothing is set in stone at this point. And we'll see what happens as things progress.

But for now, I have questions. And that unsettles me.

Later.

P.S.: Ace is not going to quit working until I find a job, so we aren't concerned about needing a paycheck. That is about the only part of this situation that I have no questions about.

Massages Work Wonders

Today, Karen (my massage therapist) gave me a massage. Now, I'd like to take a nap, because I am all relaxed and that has made me sleepy.

But, you aren't here to hear that I am sleepy, you are here to find out why I didn't post yesterday or the day before. And most of the reason I didn't post is that I would have been whining again, and I hate doing that to you.

Yesterday something good did happen and I feel that I should mention it here and now. Yesterday, Ace took me to buy a new copy of the show Firefly, because our copy of disk 4 is somewhere else in the US (Ace let someone borrow it, we didn't get it back, and then they moved). He ended up having to drive us to 2 different stores to find a copy to buy, because the first store was sold out! So, we went way across town to buy a series instead of just finding the one disk we are missing on Amazon.

Today, I got a massage, and it has improved my mood significantly. But, I'm still trying to decide if I want to go take that nap, because extra sleep sounds nice.

And Now For Something Completely Different

In an effort to not just post words that make me seem whiny and self-indulgent, a short story from the past.

One time, my mother, sister, and I were playing Taboo. My mom was giving the clues and my sister and I (mostly me) were guessing what the words were. My sister was around 8 or 9 at the time.

Mom: This is something in Canada.

Sister: Cows?

Mom: No.

Sister: There are no cows in Canada?

Mom and I: *laughter*

Mom: There are cows in Canada, but that isn't what it is.

If I remember correctly (from roughly 10 years ago) the word was Parliament.

Thank you for your attention.

P.S.: My sister and I still laugh about the no cows in Canada thing.

Trying Not To Be Down

This whole job search thing has really hit me hard emotionally.

Okay, I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me.

I wake up each morning, and I feel crappy about the fact that I haven't gotten much response to sending out my resume. All it makes me want to do is hide in bed with my blanket over my head and hide until it all goes away.

It's got me back to feeling insecure and stupid, things that I normally don't feel.

And part of me is tired of fighting those feelings off.

I'm trying so hard not to be sad or to look down on my short list of job experience. I'm trying hard to tell myself that it just takes time, I'll find something, that God has already made a way and I just need to look for it, that we'll be fine until I do find it.

But today, it's getting to me. I know that I've sent my resume out to Monday-Friday jobs and so that's part of the reason I'm not hearing anything.

It's not just this job search. I'm also feeling frustrated because my aerobics class is kicking my butt (or rather my knees and hips). I knew my muscles would hurt, especially the first couple of weeks, but my joints aren't supposed to be feeling so sore and tender. So, I'm having to rethink this and possibly go for a water aerobics class (or just spend some time swimming laps or walking in the pool) or something that will be easier on my joints.

So, if I'm sitting in my house on a Saturday afternoon, trying not to cry and feeling overwhelmed by life, you can hopefully understand that I'm trying to not be down. But I don't think it's quite working right now.

P.S.: It would help if the dog was not quite so annoying right now. Unfortunately, he doesn't (or hasn't) gotten that, so he's been yelled at a lot over the last 24 hours. And that doesn't help the situation any either.

Oh the Insanity!

Ace has decided that now would be a good time for him to find a new job. He is, however, keeping his job at DirecTV until he finds a new job. It's just that he's looked over my shoulder while I was looking online for a new job and thought that he was qualified for some of the jobs I was looking at and they pay more per hour than his current job does.

So, he's going to look, and we're going to each try to find a job from the same pool of potential jobs.

Doesn't this sound fun?

Hopefully, even if Ace is the only one to quickly find a job, it won't be that long until I find one too.

It feels a little crazy in my house right now. And not in the least because Guillermo keeps barking at... well, I don't know who. All I know is that I'm ready for Ace to get home from work and for things to settle down here for a little while.

Later.

Waiting and Hoping

This is probably the hardest part of job hunting for me, waiting to hear back from people.

So far, I know that DirecTV still doesn't want to employ me. At least they let me know after I submitted an application for the second time.

Other than that, it's been pretty quiet here. I did send my resume to a couple more places, but I'm waiting for the most part.

It's been difficult to try to keep my hope up. Mostly because I'm not excited about getting a job in the first place. And the longer I wait without hearing from people, the harder it is to keep my hope up.

So, I'm waiting and hoping right now.

If only I could find a job staying home watching TV and going to an aerobics class twice a week. Anyone know someone who will pay me to do that?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

I guess that leaves me waiting, hoping, and sending out my resume.

Later.

Job Hunt and Other Frustrations

Today has been a long day. Today I feel like life has decided that I'm not a special little snowflake, so it can come crashing down on me.

I, during a recession, am looking for a job (in Tulsa). I've got my resume sent to several places. I got a phone interview today and right now, that feels like the highlight of my day right now. Well, that and getting some grocery shopping done.

I also got a call about continuing my education (I will, when I can pay cash for it). That was a long call and I wanted to roll my eyes several times (why I didn't, I don't know... I mean, it was a phone call). The woman was trying to push me into starting online classes in a couple of weeks (uh, no).

Then, Ace and I made pot roast, but it didn't turn out as good as it did the last time I made pot roast (it was cooked too quickly, so it wasn't juicy and falling apart). We decided next time, we will definitely cook it on the slower setting for at least the first few hours.

During my aerobics class, I was hurting. 5 days for my muscles to recover from the last class and I was still hurting. That isn't a good thing. Also, my knee started hurting in class last Thursday, and hurt some while I was driving to and from class today.

When we went out to buy a knee brace, the first store we went to had something wrong with their computers as it kept saying that Ace owed money after swiping his debit card (even after putting back the candy bars that we didn't really need). Nicely, there was a new pharmacy across the street from the one we were at and we had no problems getting in and out quickly (and now my knee is wrapped to help stabilize it).

Then, because all this wasn't enough, Ace went through the mail and found that the company that does the payroll for DirecTV required him to resubmit a form by Feb. 13th (they sent the letter out on the 12th, after having it typed since late January). So, our withholding on his check is all messed up and I don't know what we need to do to fix it. So, today has been a long day!

Can someone please help me forget all my frustrations and problems?

Losing Weight?

My stated goal right now is to lose weight, but tonight it didn't seem like that was the goal.

After Ace got home from work, he grabbed a little cash and ran to the convenience store because I was craving some peanut M&Ms (I don't usually like peanut M&Ms, but today I wanted them... but just a small bag). Then he came back home and I ate my M&Ms and he ate a brownie (because that was what he was craving) and we felt happy with our small bits of chocolate for Valentine's Day.

Then, we started watch The Princess Bride (we intended to watch it last night, but that didn't happen). After about 2 minutes, I paused the movie to ask what we were planning on doing about dinner. I was wanting us to cook a frozen pizza (what is up with the unhealthy foods I was wanting?) and Ace wanted us to eat this macaroni mix thing we made yesterday (Mac & Cheese, hamburger meat, corn, peas, and diced tomatoes with oregano and other spices). About halfway through, I started the oven for the pizza (because that's what I should be eating, right?) and Ace put it on a pizza stone and put it in the oven.

Then, around 9:30, he realized that I hadn't eaten any of the mix, which he cared about because it would help my body build the muscles back up (because they have been sore today, I really shouldn't have pushed myself quite so much Thursday). So he fixes me a bowl of it and I ate about half, possibly more.

When he went to buy my M&Ms, he got me 2 small bags, in case 1 wasn't enough. So, I've now eaten half of that.

Why do I get the feeling that Tuesday's aerobics class will probably go totally toward working off the excess food I ate tonight?

And shouldn't that bother me some?

Later!

Dear Body

Dear body,

I'm happy to see we've already started loosing weight. I wasn't sure how quickly the weight would drop, as at first it took a while to build up. 5 pounds already, and with only a minimum of soreness and stiffness too!

However, we have got to talk. Why isn't 7 and 1/2 hours enough sleep? You let me wake up just fine at 9:00 am, but then you want to go back to sleep for another 2 hours. Why? Have I done something wrong?

And why, today, do you feel the need for even more sleep? Did I not pamper you with extra sleep? Am I not trying my best to move you enough to loosen up the muscles while still giving you plenty of rest to repair those same muscles?

Please, let me know what the issue is so that I can fix it quickly as I don't care for all this extra sleeping if it isn't necessary.

Love and kisses,

MA

P.S.: Yes, I plan on buying more oranges when we go grocery shopping today. I know that you've been craving them and I'm happy that you want something so healthy and yummy.

Setting Goals for the Next Year

I have a few goals for the next year.

1. Lose 50 pounds. This isn't impossible and it's better than a goal of "lose weight" as I'll know when I've reached my goal.

2. Read through Proverbs 12 times.
a. Try to learn something new each time I read it.

3. Cook at home more and eat out less. Finances should make this easier.

4. Read all of Pride and Prejudice. I've started it, now I just need to pick it back up and read it (maybe next month when I've got to go in for jury duty).

5. Eat more fruits and vegetables and less junk. Also, drink more water.

6. Join a gym and go regularly to exercise. An aerobics class twice a week probably won't do enough to see a weight loss of 50 pounds.

7. Stop feeling the need for things to be even to be finished.

So, these are just a few of my goals (starting on number 7 right now). So, now I've just got to stick with it.

TTFN!

P.S.: I've had jury duty before and I'm not looking forward to having it again. I'm hoping for time to move by quickly and I'm hoping not to be stuck on a criminal trial again.

Making Plans for Dinners

Ace and I just had a nice long talk about what we need to do for eating dinners in the future. We've decided to save money by choosing to eat at home more and to cook more meals that will include leftovers for us to have another meal out of. We're also going to try to keep things like sandwich meat and hot dogs around for smaller meals and such.

We also plan on buying potatoes and mashing them ourselves instead of buying tubs of mashed potatoes from the store. Basically, we're going to be pickier on what foods we spend money on while still giving ourselves enough variety to not get too frustrated with repetition happening too often.

Despite the extra work this will create, I am excited about doing more cooking. And I'm excited about trying to recreate some of the recipes my mother made when I was younger to see if it tastes the same as I remember it tasting.

So, tonight we've made plans for future dinners. And that has made me happy.

TTFN!

My Second Aerobics Class

I didn't forget my promise to talk about my aerobics class today.

Well, I went, despite my sister's visit, to my second class. I was sore before I went and, not surprisingly, it hurt to do some of the exercises. Most of them didn't really hurt, but the squats and some of the leg lifts hurt a lot. And I almost teared up during the crunches (I skipped the last 4 of them, as I couldn't handle it any more).

So, my arms and legs, while slightly tender, aren't too out of shape. My butt, abs, and right hip on the other hand aren't doing quite as well. I still have trouble with keeping my breathing even throughout the class, but I did remember to bring water with me and was able to push myself throughout class, even though I'm glad to not have to go back until next Tuesday.

And really, if that's as bad as it will ever be, I can handle it.

So, now you know how I did/am doing with my aerobics class.

TTFN!

A Visit from My Sister (and the Thoughts it Stirred Up)

My sister and her boyfriend came up to visit me today. I am the last relative to meet him (not because they were avoiding it, it just wasn't convenient to meet until today). They got here in time to follow Ace and I over near my chiropractor for lunch (where I quickly ducked out for 5 minutes to get my back aligned). Then, we all came back to my house (the word our just doesn't seem appropriate here, as the house doesn't belong to my sister and her boyfriend, but it is Ace's house too) and talked for a good long while. Then, they stuck around while I went to aerobics and came back home, had dinner with us and visited for a little while longer before going back home.

My sister and I were able to share things with each other that we've never talked about before. She totally gets why I don't talk to our mother right now and let me know that she was angry that I was "leaving" her when the whole thing first happened. And then, after dealing with what I had been putting up with, she started to see that I wasn't trying to leave her, but I was probably trying to protect me. And she totally understands why I did walk away. She understands that I really do want our mother to be happy. She also understands that I can't take our mother's frustration that she makes bad decisions and then is unhappy with the consequences she faces because of those decisions.

In a way, I look up to my little sister (not height wise, as we are roughly the same height although she is slightly taller). She's much more confident in her own personality. She's willing to fight for what she deserves and for that she gets what she wants and needs from our mother more often than I ever did. And she's willing to tell my mother the complete and honest truth about her habits (what she does when she's trying to make you comply with her wishes with guilt, how she's pushing away the daughter she has that is still at home, that she should find happiness, that she should try to reach out to me [she didn't know I had asked that our mother not call me which explained the odd call on my birthday]). I'm not sure I've ever had the nerve to say anything like that, ever. Especially not to our mother.

I dislike confrontation, and that probably has kept me from voicing my own opinion more often than it should have. There were times, especially with my mother, that I didn't feel like my opinion would be respected. And because of that, I bowed to her pressure and did things to make her happy so much that it surprised her when I finally started to stand up some for myself and looked out for my interests over hers. And she called me selfish for that. Which started me wondering if being slightly selfish sometimes, especially when at the end of your rope, was really a bad thing. I'm not talking taking candy from a baby, just taking personal time away from family (mostly, my siblings) to spend one on one with my dad and step-mom. Time for me to forget that I was supposed to be "responsible" and "a good influence" and "someone to look up to" and was able to try doing something for me that was just fun (like getting a perm, re-piercing my ears, and buying nice dresses because I liked them, they looked good on me, and I didn't have to pay or beg for them). It was a small taste of freedom between for a few summers between being responsible as a student and an older sister to remind me that I'm allowed to have fun.

I spent the first couple of years of my marriage trying to find a way to "fix" myself. I felt broken. I was happy with Ace, but I felt like part of me wasn't quite right. It took me 2 years to realize that the problem wasn't me, it was the way I related to my mother, or rather the way she related to me. The system was broken, and I tried for another year to see if I could live with it broken as it was. And I couldn't. I couldn't be my mother's support, because that's not my role to fill. The last time we talked, she blamed her shortcomings after the divorce on her own emotional state and me not telling her what I needed. I think Ace finds that silly, as I'm not a hard person to keep happy in general. I thought it was silly as she had never seemed to care what I wanted or needed unless I pushed and pushed those things in front of her face until she couldn't ignore it.

I fairly sure that she probably has felt like my dad got a pass on how my teen years went. She probably thinks that he was never talked to about why my needs weren't met enough and that his responsibility in the whole problem was never addressed. She would be wrong. He broached the subject with me long before I talked to her about her part. He told me that he took all the blame on himself for his failings in supporting me as much as I needed him to during all that vulnerable time. He apologized in no uncertain terms. He told me that he was the parent and it was his job to ask me about what I wanted or needed from him and I was the child so I shouldn't have to have any responsibility for the problems that happened then. And his apology healed any hurt that I had for his part. He took the responsibility to let me know that I wasn't in the wrong for not getting everything I needed from either parent at an emotionally turbulent time that being a teenager is (and having your parents divorce, etc.).

Well... this has been cathartic. And I really didn't expect to write this much about my past tonight. But, I needed to say it, I think. And I'm hoping that someday, it will help someone else. Right now, it helped me to just say it.

Tomorrow, I'll talk about my second day of aerobics and how it tried to kick my butt. But for tonight, I'm going to curl up with my blanket and eat some grapes while reading things that will make me smile. Because after all that, even though I feel better and lighter, I need to spend some time with things that make me happier than I am right this second.

TTFN!

My First Aerobics Class

It's been a long while since I've worked out. Tonight, I felt how out of shape I am. I was trying not to huff and puff through the entire class (which happens when you're the newest member, but is frustrating when you are also the youngest member). It wasn't completely physically demanding (my body felt fine other than when we were doing crunches), but I ran out of breath waaaay too easily.

At the end of the class, the instructor asked if I'd be back. I assured her that I would be and thought that hopefully next Tuesday will be easier (Thursday this week will probably be harder, because my muscles won't be quite ready for moving that way again, but I'll push through the pain. Also, I plan on taking pain killers before the class on Thursday.).

So, I survived and felt pretty good at the end of class. I'm not excited about tomorrow, but I feel pretty good over all.

Besides, tomorrow I have Ace to encourage me to push through the pain (and to take things to dull/stop the pain). We plan on grocery shopping and I have a load of laundry to wash (mostly, so the clothes I worked out in today will be cleaner and not stinking up my garage).

Well, I'm going to go. My arms are feeling kind of heavy right now. Besides, I've got snuggling to do before Ace goes to sleep.

TTFN!

Ouch!

Yesterday, I got ambitious. I did more than I normally do in a day. I tried to start off this healthier living/exercise kick with getting my house cleaner.

Today, I can't bend over (or sit, if I'm completely honest) without pain.

I'm happy that my clothes are clean, my legs are smooth, and there are less dirty dishes piled up in my kitchen, but I can't seem to do anything about folding and putting away laundry or doing another load of dishes. And I'm not sure I want to try to just take a relaxing bath before Ace gets home from work.

I know it's the muscles getting stronger and better, but do you know how many things in this house require bending over? I can't get to my grapes or the Activia in my fridge without pain. I can probably just get to the veggie tray, but I'm not interested.

Ace should be home, hopefully with food, by roughly 6:30. As long as the dog lets me be, we should do fine for the rest of today.

Later!

P.S.: The only reason I'm not taking something to help with the pain is that I'm too stubborn for my own good sometimes.

Dinner

Tonight, Ace and I make meatloaf for dinner tonight. In a twist, I was the one who did most of the cooking (normally, it's Ace). He helped me with crushing crackers, cracking open eggs, and breaking up the meat to make it easier to mix.

I even did quite a bit of the work on fixing the sides (mashed potatoes and green beans). Then, we did something we rarely do, we sat at the table and ate.

It was nice. The goal is, now that Ace is working days again, that when he gets home in the evening I'll have dinner nearly ready (if not fully ready), and we'll make dinner together a normal event again.

Ace is happy to hear that I might start cooking again. I'm just starting to think that we'll need to get Hamburger Helper stocked in our pantry again. But, it will mean that instead of eating either meat or veggies, I'll start eating both for at least one meal (and either Ace or I will have leftovers for lunch the next day too).

Between eating regularly and starting my aerobics class next week, I should be feeling healthier and loosing weight soon. It's an exciting time in my house.

Now, if I can just make it through my plans tomorrow (laundry, dishes, and shaving, which should wear me out a lot tomorrow).

Remedial Sleep

I apparently need to learn how to sleep without occasionally hurting myself.

I didn't support my shoulder well enough last night, and today it's hurting. I wish I could say that it was the first time that I've woken up hurting because I slept oddly.

So, does anyone know where I can learn to sleep without injuring myself? Because I'm tired of it.

No One Is Perfect

I've never felt like I was perfect. I've had days where I thought I was doing really well, was edging close to perfect for the day, but I've never felt perfect.

But, as I look at things about kids, I feel like they closer to being perfect that I ever do. It shows in how big their hearts are and how willing to forgive they are.

And that encourages me to be more childlike in my faith. It also encourages me to view each day as a new chance to try to be perfect. Even though I know that it isn't likely to happen.

And that's what I'm thinking about currently.

25 Random Things (Mostly About Me)

Okay, I'm in a random mood, so today I will tell you random things about me.

1. There have been times, since I've been an adult, I have had nothing but ice cream for dinner.

2. The only bone, that I am aware of, in my body that has been broken is my upper jaw. My mouth is so small in size that it had to be expanded for me to get braces.

3. The perfect temperature range indoors, for me, is between 74 and 76 degrees. Any cooler and I'm cold; any warmer and I'm hot.

4. I've had 3 cysts surgically removed. 1 when I was 10 and 2 when I was 11. I still have scars (only 2, because the one removed when I was 10 came back and was re-removed).

5. I have only worn 3 pieces of jewelry regularly, my engagement ring, my wedding ring, and a necklace that Ace gave me for Valentine's Day. Currently, none of those are on my body (the rings don't currently fit comfortably on my fingers).

6. While I think the movie He's Just Not That Into You looks good (and I will probably watch it), I am glad that I found a guy and married him without all the hassles of trying to decode what he meant when he said anything. Ace is very, very honest, and for that I love him more.

7. I have a knack for turning onto a movie in the middle of it (when I'm not looking through the guide to figure out what I want to watch). Then, if I keep watching the movie, I start to hunt for when it will be on to see it from the beginning.

8. So far, I've pushed Ace into taking me to see both Chronicles of Narnia movies in the theater. I loved them both, but had some complaints about the second one (like the part that wasn't in the book... totally silly).

9. I have found several dresses (at different times) that when rung up have happened to be on sale, even though there was no obvious signs saying they were on sale when I chose them.

10. I cannot ride a bike. I just simply don't know how to do it.

11. Despite living in Oklahoma, I've never driven on ice covered streets. Either Ace takes us wherever we need to go when it's icy or I stay home.

12. Yesterday, I applied to work at DirecTV (at Ace's request). I don't know if or when I might hear back from them. I'm trying not to be nervous.

13. I went stag to my prom. My mom dropped me off and YzArC's then boyfriend dropped me back off at home. I went to church the next morning.

14. Ace and I met two days shy of 9 months before our wedding. We got married a year sooner than we originally planned. It wasn't because of pregnancy though.

15. Ace has a way of making me feel like I deserve to be with someone like him, which is great because my self-confidence took a beating before I ever met him (not by a guy, but by my mother).

16. Even though I try everyday to follow where I believe that God is leading me, I sometimes slip up (like I did yesterday). Then I'm thankful for a new day, as it is a new chance to try again and do better.

17. I am trying to look for the good things everyday, but some days it's harder than others. I still keep trying.

18. I've been to 10 states (Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, Florida, and Missouri) and two foreign countries (Mexico and the Bahamas). I hope to see the world someday.

19. Some of my favorite cartoons are the old Bugs Bunny type cartoons. I think they should be shown more often.

20. In my bedroom, I have a board covered with things I want. This is so I can look at them and visualize myself having them. The oddest looking thing up there right now is some Christmas trees, but I'm hoping that by December I'll have a house big enough to have an actual Christmas tree.

21. Some day, I'd like to learn how to play the piano.

22. Ace and I plan on having all of our future children take ballet classes as well as karate classes (at least a year of each, preferably the same year).

23. I keep mentally drifting off to sleep as I try to think of 25 things to say. I think I should go to bed early tonight. And it's hard to come up with 25 things when you don't feel like you've done all that much with your life.

24. I love the Marx brothers' movies, mostly because they are so silly. In fact, most of the movies I enjoy the most are the older movies.

25. The 4 times I went to Mexico, it was to do construction work on church building (helping to build them). Yes, I went 4 times to Mexico (all during school vacations) to do physical labor. Those were some fun times and I had some of the best food ever while I was there. I would like to go back, but as an actual vacation next time.

There you go, 25 random things, mostly about me.

TTFN!

Today I Was a Bitca

I feel bad for Ace somewhat. Earlier today, I was being selfish. And then we snapped at each other some.

And then, after I was done being selfish, I felt sad over my behavior (and about other things too, from what I can tell). And Ace comforted me while I cried.

All I can say about my behavior earlier is that I was a bitca (if you get the reference, great). And for that, I am truly sorry.

But things are all smoothed out now and Ace and I are back to being happy with each other. Because I apologized to him sincerely and he accepted my apology.

So, that was the exciting thing that happened today.

Sarcasm

Last year, at New Year's, I made a resolution to be less sarcastic than I had been the year before. I actually kept that resolution (not as hard as it might originally seem, I had been really sarcastic during 2007).

This year, I made no such resolution.

I haven't been all that sarcastic though. Partially because of a lack of things to be sarcastic about (and I know I'm not showing good grammar, but I really don't care right now).

Jenna, who is wonderful, linked to a site where you could download a picture and find out which celebrities you look like. I decided to try, and apparently with the picture I used, I look like Janeane Garofalo. And I do, somewhat vaguely, look kind of like her. Which got me thinking about being sarcastic.

Of course, this site wasn't perfect, as it seemed to think that I resembled men over all (um... no, I don't). I think it's because all the pictures I have of me have my hair pulled back (and it wasn't looking for body types).

Anyway, back to my thoughts on sarcasm. It's slightly odd to think that this time last year I was struggling to stem the flow of sarcasm from my mouth (I was extremely sarcastic when 2008 started). Sarcasm seemed to drip from half the sentences I would say. Now, I use sarcasm with much less frequency (but seem to repeat myself a lot more).

I will admit that the whole process started (as does half the things I seem to do) to make Ace happy. He didn't like me being so sarcastic. He wanted me to take my words seriously. So, I did as he asked. He's put up with me slipping and being sarcastic and I've tried much harder to control my tongue.

And it's made him happier. Which, of course, makes me happier.

Two Things I've Learned in the Past 3 Days

1. My body does not like something in the Wolf brand chili. I don't know what it is, but my body protests to it by causing me discomfort when/after I eat it.

2. I do not like trying to eat spinach with a spoon. It doesn't work as well as a fork does for me.

Feeling Better, Mostly

Well, Ace and I went by the mall today. We spent over an hour there and I don't feel like pushing the world away anymore.

I'd feel a lot better over-all if I had not been woken up last night when Ace came to bed, but we did have a nice talk and that helped me with us getting out of the house today (he was totally okay with going out, which doesn't surprise me at all).

Hopefully tonight I'll get a better night's sleep. I've got things to do tomorrow, and I'd rather not be tired for them.

That veggie tray I'm dreaming about won't buy itself, you know?

TTFN!

Pushing and Pulling

I'm finding myself to be quite an enigma. I feel like I'm pushing out the world right now, which is odd because I don't think the world should really be pushed out.

I'm not sure if I'm concerned that I'll get hurt, or really why I feel like pushing the world away. All I know is that it isn't good and I need to stop it. I need to talk to Ace about getting me out of the house some on the days he works (before his shift change, when we will be getting out of the house for us to exercise). I need to go spend time somewhere other than our house, and more importantly somewhere other than our bedroom.

I'm noticing that as I'm pushing away the world, I'm pulling in Ace (and trying to reach out some to others too). And while that's not a bad thing, he does not need to be my only link to the outside world (besides said friends).

And I can tell how bad I've gotten about this based on my habits with getting the mail. In the past, I got the mail everyday except Sunday. I loved to get the mail. Now, I get the mail on Ace's days off if we are going out around the time the mail gets here and let Ace get it otherwise. I don't feel like getting dressed to get the mail otherwise.

I think I've been drifting away from center again. I'm not exactly depressed, but I'm not feeling normal. And I know I need to get out more, because I keep wanting to push out the world. And getting out of the house should, hopefully, get me over that. Even if it's just a run to the store tomorrow until Tuesday afternoon.

TTFN!

Quick Turn Around

I know I just asked for suggestions, but then I read some things that got my brain working and wanting to write.

1. Emma Thompson rocks! She is proud to be a normal sized woman (not someone who fits into a size 2 and feels fat because of it). Plus, she is a really good actress. And she's good at adapting books into movies. Basically, she really rocks! And she looks great for someone who is 50 (and she's still acting as a romantic lead!).

2. There are men out there who feel that it is okay to poke fun at famous women who have normal body sizes. The ones who are curvy and not rail-thin. They try to claim that these women should be spending hours in the gym working off their curves because they don't look like every other woman in Hollywood. These guys are jerks.

Because of these two things, I started thinking of how women are seen. I know that I need to lose weight, my belly is obviously not appropriate on my body and my thighs could stand to shed some weight too. I'm not happy to be in a size 14 jeans (although, I did find out that I need to wear petite in size 14 to not be too long for my legs and I don't know how I feel about this).

But, when I am in a size 10 (which is what I wore when Ace and I got married), I feel sexy. I have curves and I'm proud of those curves. My hips are made for having babies and my chest is made for providing nourishment. Those things make me proud of my curves. The fact that those curves are part of what attracted my husband to me (and help keep him interested) makes me appreciate them all the more. I understand that thin is in, but not every woman was built to be thin. I was built for curves. My body was designed to have a landscape to it. And that is something that I think should be represented more in movies and on TV. We need to show everyone, but especially young girls that it is normal to have curves and not diet yourself to thinness just because that is some what celebrities do.

These thoughts make me wonder what all I'll have to tell any girls I have. How loud will I have to speak to let them know that just because Hollywood and magazines tell them that they should be as tiny as they can be that it's okay to have a curvy body, it's natural, normal, and it won't stop them from finding love? And can't we change what is being said by Hollywood and those magazines now, before I have to struggle with this problem, when I'm the only one who I have to say these things to?

Marilyn Monroe was a size 10 (at least, that's what I've read) and she was a sex symbol. If 10 is good enough for Marilyn, it's good enough for me.

Besides, curvy women are extremely sexy (at least, that's what Ace says).

TTFN!

P.S.: "No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty. Even if they aren't." - Marilyn Monroe

What Should I Talk About?

Okay, I don't normally ask for topic suggestions, but my brain isn't wanting to hold onto any one topic long enough for me to think of something to say. My brain is kind of roaming through potential topics, but it doesn't stay on one long enough for me to even remember it.

I've run out of things to say right now. And that pretty much never happens.

So, what should I talk about? (Please, answer me so that I can post something else soon.)

How Guillermo Cost Me Sleep

Guillermo got into the trash a few days ago. I had been splitting the turkey we got as a Christmas gift into smaller bags for eating on sandwiches and such. I threw away the bones and skin and then forgot to move the trash out of his reach.

According to the vet's office, he went dumpster diving for food. That lead to him getting diarrhea and having accidents in the house 2 nights in a row, he never has accidents so we knew something was wrong. Which is why he spent most of a day outside and then ended up seeing a vet yesterday. He seems to be feeling much better today and is probably past all his problems, but we're still giving him the meds from the vet anyway.

Back to his accidents: both nights he had an accident, Ace was working. This lead to me being woken up when Ace got home because he wanted me to know about it. So, when we picked Guillermo up from the vet's office yesterday, I was feeling extremely tired from not getting enough hours of sleep without interruption (that doesn't bode well for having kids, I don't think).

Last night, not only did Guillermo not have another accident, but I got about 9 hours of sleep with no major interruptions (nothing woke me up for more than 1 minute). And tonight should be similar.

Well, I'm off to bed, as it is almost 11 pm and I am tired.

Later!

Delurking Day

Today is delurking day. So, since I'm nice and don't bite, leave me a comment to know you're reading.

I really don't have much else to say, other than Guillermo is got in some trouble yesterday (that I'd rather not talk about) and as a complicated result is spending today outside. It's kind of nice for now.

So, yeah.

Leave me a comment, and hopefully tomorrow I'll have something to actually talk about.

Update: Um, apparently I forgot to say what lurking is. Lurking is when you read someone's blog without commenting. I am kind of bad about doing that with most of the blogs I read, because they already get tons of comments. Delurking is letting someone know that you read their blog, even if it's only on delurking day.

How My Day Has Gone

My day has gone something like this:

7:22 am - Try hard to not fully wake up. Wish the dog next door would shut up already. Ace tells me he got the shift he wants when he changes shifts at the end of the month (same days off, just working mornings instead of evenings).

7:52 - Give up on getting any more sleep. Wish the dog next door would shut up already. Wonder what the penalty would be for either kicking or drugging the dog to get it to be quiet.

8:00 - Notice that suddenly the dog next door has quieted down. Hope it will last. Open laptop to check e-mail. Notice that Outlook is having problems connecting to the one e-mail address that it connects to (the one I pay for, naturally). Shut down Outlook. Restart Outlook.

8:02 - Notice that I can't sign into the website for that e-mail address either. Move on to check other e-mail addresses.

8:30 - Check main sight for paid e-mail account. Notice something about routine maintenance done between 1 am and 4 am. Shrug shoulders and figure it's gone over their intended time. Wish they had warned that they were doing maintenance for just this kind of situation.

10:00 - Close Outlook, as I am tired of it bugging me about not being able to connect to the e-mail service. Check main sight again. Find out that e-mail is down because of some hardware issue. Wonder why they don't have a redundant system built in. Feel out of sorts with e-mail provider (again).

10:01 - Move onto other things, like comics. Start feeling sleepy again. Start dozing off.

11:30 - Dog comes in, wakes Ace up to be let out. I finally wake up from unexpected nap. Wonder why I've been tired lately. Start reading blogs.

12:15 pm (roughly) - I let the dog back in and grab some smoked turkey. Then I try to ignore the dog staring at me while I eat the turkey and read blogs some more. Decide that I need to keep up with my bloglines better during the week.

1:15 - Ace wakes up for real. I inform him of the e-mail situation (he has an e-mail account with these people too). We discuss more pleasant things, like working out.

1:30 - We've worked out a schedule for what we want to do about exercise that should work pretty well most days. Feel happy. Will be exercising Mon. - Thurs., which should solve the pants problem fairly quickly.

2:00 - Ace makes pizza. Gets on WoW. We discuss what I'm doing this evening.

2:20 - Pizza comes out of the oven. I'm not hungry after my turkey earlier, so I let Ace eat the whole thing and get on Wow myself.

6:30 - Let the dog out. Go back to playing WoW as I only plan to be on for another few minutes. Eat the chicken Ace cooked earlier (for work for him and for dinner for me).

6:50 - Let the dog back in. Ignore him sniffing around the counter and head back to finish what I'm doing on WoW, because I'm really getting off in a couple of minutes, I promise.

7:30 - Finally get off WoW. Check e-mail to see if the one that was down is back up and to see if I got anything on the other accounts.

7:35 - Find out that I should, if they are right, have my e-mail back up at 11 Eastern. Decide that I don't fully believe them, as they should have kept this from being a problem after their last mess up.

7:36 - Compose a post about my day. Wonder how I can get such good news and such bad news within that short a time frame. Wish I had focused more on the good news throughout the day.

And now, I'm going to go back to watching comics telling jokes. If I don't, I think I may go grab some alcohol, and that is no solution to my frustration.

Later!

Bad Pants Day

Or I Need To Get Me To A Gym ASAP

I realized that I really need to work out and get back into shape today. I currently have 1 pair of jeans I can squeeze myself into. What has apparently surprised me is that eating fattening food and sitting around for most of the day has lead to me gaining a belly that won't fit into my jeans.

Ace has promised me that we can get me a pair of jeans that I am not squeezing myself into. He had originally planned on us going and joining a gym while he was off this week, but that didn't happen. So now, that is our plan for next week on his days off, finding a gym.

I have found a few things we should be able to do for little cost that should help us get into shape. Including an aerobics class that should be on Ace's days off that would be less than $40 a month for us to do together. There are also a few places we can go walk indoors for free and some fitness rooms for a reasonable fee.

So, while I'm having a bad day today, pants wise, I know we have plans on a way to get me back into my jeans again. And fitting in my pants is a good motivation for working out right now, so I'm less likely to join a gym and then blow off going.

TTFN!

And Sanity Reigns Again

Oh people, if I knew that all I needed yesterday was the sugary goodness of frosting to feel better about the world, I would have made a run to the store while Ace was still sleeping (and ate frosting while watching Iron Man for the second time). I don't know why I needed the sugar (there was a distinct lack of a sugar buzz), but after eating some frosting I started feeling normal again.

Today, if you were to come to my house, I would offer you food and drink instead of warning you to run before I start throwing things in your general direction. Between the craziness of hormones, cramps, and feeling kind of twitchy in general lately, I've missed being fully sane. Fortunately, my sanity has come back to me.

Well, I'm off to do other things until it's time to go get that massage from Karen (who needed me to delay it for her daughter's sake).

TTFN!

P.S.: Jenna, I dreamt of you last night. Is that weird?

Leave Me Alone!

Today, I've been feeling kind of touchy. I have no clue why, but I'd kind of like to throw things at people to keep them away (except Ace, and hopefully Karen since she's supposed to give me a massage today). And it's really not anyone's fault.

So, the plan after lunch is to take a shower, get dressed, get a massage, go grocery shopping, and start eating on frosting that we're going to pick up at the store while playing WoW with Ace.

But for now, leave me alone.

TTFN!

Political Debate

Now that the election is long over, my extended family is debating politics (actually, I think it's just the men). And they feel the need to let everyone know their debate.

I was over all this political talk back when it started in 2007. I don't want to debate what will happen with the new president. The people of the nation have made their choice and the nation have to live with that decision for the next 4 years. No matter what I think, it won't change anything.

And I just don't care. I can't make myself care. It's not that I don't care what will happen in this country, it's just that debating things I have no control over wears me out and feels a little pointless.

So, I'm deleting the e-mails and just moving on with my life. Because it's easier.

But please, don't talk to me about politics because I will probably just walk away, and I hate being rude.

May 25th

I just found out that May 25th is Bring your Towel to Life Day. What you do is bring your towel along with you when you go do whatever regular things you would be doing that day anyway.

If you don't know why, then you should read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (there are 5 books, it's still called a trilogy, we'll all just have to accept it). I will admit, the books are somewhat random at times and that doesn't help matters, but (BUT) they are wonderful and worth the randomness.

I'm considering, the next time I dress up for Halloween (which could be a long while), just dressing normally and adding a towel around my shoulders. It would be interesting to find out who would know what I am and who would have to ask (I'm fairly sure, I'd be asked more questions than anything else).

So, now you know what I'll be doing May 25th (it's programmed into my phone so I won't forget). Let me know if you're going to join me.

TTFN!

My Therapist

It's been a while since I've talked about Karen. Karen is many things to me. Karen is my friend. Karen is my massage therapist. Karen is my emotional therapist, too (usually, this happens while she is giving me a massage).

Karen is also the person who gave Guillermo to us. She came by today to pick him up and play with him, as it was a really nice day out and she wanted to spend it with him. I was happy for him to get some exercise and attention from someone who obviously loves him so much.

After Karen brought Guillermo back, she stayed to visit. And the topic turned, as it seems to always turn around her, to my mother. Tonight, she shared large sections of her past with me. And I, in turn, shared with her large parts of the reason why I no longer talk to my mother. And she gave me something to think and talk to Ace about (I'm not ready to talk about it here, yet).

And, now that she's gone, I'm feeling tired emotionally. It's hard to go through all this stuff and I usually avoid talking about it with Ace, as I'm fairly sure he's tired of hearing it (and most of the time, I don't think about it as I'm tired of it all too). She did help me see that right now I'm trying to change old habits.

I feel a little bit like I've gone through the wringer, but I'll be doing better emotionally now that she and I have talked. Kind of like how I feel when I get a massage from her, which I will also be doing soon.

Now, I think I'm going to lay down and probably go to sleep. Because I'm tired.

Night!

A Time of Reflection

I've been reflecting some today (while Ace is sleeping) about 2008. It was an odd year, but not the most memorable (seriously, only about one of these things happened each month and I had to push myself to think of them all).

I stopped working at both my jobs (at different times). I needed some time off so badly, I had thoughts that scared me (and Ace, and still make me uncomfortable). I got to visit with my sister for a day. Ace and I went to the Tulsa Home and Garden Show and enjoyed looking at the sand sculptures. Guillermo and I managed to dislocate my shoulder right before Ace and I went to visit my dad (he gave me a Vicodin for the pain, on my anniversary). The a/c went out in the house, twice. The a/c didn't work at the locations we went to for Ace's reunion. Serenity got wrecked. Guillermo ran away (right around my birthday, does he not like me?) and was returned a week later. I did NaBloPoMo and succeeded (and made a new friend in the process)! I survived Thanksgiving and Christmas with my in-laws (and other relatives). I changed my sleeping habits not once, but twice. Also, I got a new phone, which I may or may not have mentioned yet this year.

I think I hit all the big things (and a few of the small) that happened this past year.

The one thing I'm hoping for this year is to expand my family. Hopefully, in the next few months (if not the next few weeks), I'll be posting about being pregnant and all the fun things that go along with that.

So, raise a glass of juice with me to toast in this new year, which will hopefully be better than the last.

TTFN!

P.S.: I know this isn't the 31st of December or the 1st of January, but I'm being different. Just because I can.

Randomness Part 2

Today, I have a bunch of random thoughts in my head, all asking to be let out. So I am going to go with it for now.

1. I feel asleep before midnight in my time zone last night. Ace and I went back to our hotel room around 10:30 because I was feeling tired. When we got there, there was a truck with a boat behind it blocking the parking space in front of the door to our room. It did get moved so that Ace could park in front of the door (it was cold, and we didn't want to make our trips to the car this morning be any farther than they needed to be). I took a bath, and kept drifting off to sleep while in the tub, so I figured it was time to get out and go to bed.

2. We really love our dog. We went shopping for Christmas presents for Guillermo, since we hadn't gotten him anything so far. He know has a squeaky ball, tug rope, and some raw hide bones for him to enjoy over the next week.

3. I enjoyed spending time with my family. Hopefully, I'll see more of them in 2009. On the plus side, I know that I'll see them in May at my sister's graduation.

4. My mother, out-of-the-blue, wants to be my friend on MySpace. If I was still talking to her, I probably wouldn't mind. As it is, I'm not sure what to make of this. It's just... odd. And after the stilted phone call on my birthday, it's also rather unwelcome as it feels like she's trying to worm her way back into my life.

5. I'm hoping that by the end of the year I'll either have a baby or be pregnant. Not that this is a different hope than last year, but this year I have more information available to me about how to go about accomplishing this.

So, that's where I'm at as the year starts. Hopeful and slightly thrown for a loop.

TTFN!

Dumb Question

Earlier, Ace asked me a dumb question. He really should have already known the answer too.

Here's the important background to his question. We're visiting my dad (except this time we're staying in a hotel room instead of his house). I've been trying to sleep more at night instead of during the day (so we can be around my family when they are awake), but it hasn't been going as well as I would like it to (I had 2 nights in a row where I would get 2 hours of sleep and then wake up for a while.) as I have been tired pretty much this whole time.

We've been visiting with my family, and we're all going out to dinner at which time, I decide to change from my sweatshirt to my coat, as I've already been chilly today and I know it's only going to get colder. Tonight, at dinner (out, with 2 other families), I start feeling bad. I just want to go lay down. Finally, Ace is done with his meal, so we can go (my dad is covering our food, so we can just leave and let me lay down). We're both convinced that after about an hour, I'll be fine and can meet my family back at my dad's house.

I go to sleep shortly after we get here and Ace wakes me up after an hour to see if I feel up to getting up (no, I just want to sleep). So, he's going to go pick up our laptops from my dad's house so that he has something more entertaining to do than stare at a TV or stare at his wife (I don't blame him at all).

12:30, roughly 5 hours after getting back to our room from dinner, I wake up and feel human again. Ace decides to check the weather and comment on how cold it's going to be tomorrow morning. Then he asks his stupid question, "Did you bring in my coat too?"

When, during all my sleep, did he think I went and specifically got my coat out of the trunk of the car, but left his coat there? And didn't he remember me changing coats, so the only reason either of us has a warm coat is because I was cold earlier so I changed coats before we went to eat?

I kind of stared at him and reminded him that my coat was only inside because I as wearing it earlier.

How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?

I've had my new phone for less than 2 hours, and already I love it. It's a Samsung Messenger and it rocks! It slides to the side for texting (and it made moving all my contacts over a breeze).

Plus, it gets great reception inside my house, which was the only potential problem (other than possibly not getting reception all the way to my dad's house, but we have an idea for a prepaid phone with someone we know will have coverage if it is an issue).

Seriously, less than 2 hours, and I love this phone. And I'm loving the unlimited texting (I've only sent 2 texts so far, but I'm sure I'll be telling Ace more stuff throughout his work day, now that I can send him messages).

And, in roughly a week, I'll only have one cell phone again (our old contract ends on roughly the 2nd of January, it will probably take us a few more days to end the service on my phone, and a little longer to end the service on Ace's phone).

Well, I should probably go start work on those cookies for my dad, but I just had to come and gush some about my new phone.

TTFN!

P.S.: Ace's surprise fell through. He was trying to arrange for my sister to come tomorrow and work with me on making those cookies. Best attempted gift ever. The phone is one of the best gifts ever... now if only we can do well with the baby-making wish.

Christmas Confussion?

The past 2 years (at least), my in-laws have given me, as part of my Christmas gifts, a stuffed animal. While I like stuffed animals this practice confuses me, as I have never said anything to them about wanting them to give me stuffed animals (truthfully, I'd rather Ace or I pick out those stuffed animals, thanks).

Last year, I think that Ace's sister-in-law also got a similar stuffed animal, but I'm fuzzy on that. I do know that my niece and I got duplicate stuffed animals the last two years (this year, Ace's grandmother also got one).

My theory, and this is just a theory, is that since Ace and I haven't provided a child they've decided that I should get whatever stuffed animal they would give that child. I'm just not sure what they think giving me stuffed animals will accomplish.

So, I would love to hear your theories as to why I am receiving animals that I would never have picked out on my own. What possible message could they be trying to send?

P.S.: It was either post about this or talk about doing dishes. I'm fairly sure the dishes thing isn't interesting to anyone, myself included (even though I've been the one doing them).

Merry Christmas (Can I Get My New Phone Yet?)

Today has been... different. I tried to get as much sleep as I could before we went to Ace's parents house (I got 3 hours, which was nice).

Once we got to the house, we had to wait on the meal (why are they never ready to eat when they say they will be?). It gave me time to listen to my niece talk about what she's already received for Christmas. It also reminded me of what every little kid wants on Christmas (forget the food, lets open gifts).

The gift exchange went well. Ace and I got a lot of chocolate (just as he's decided to cut down on the amount of sweets he's eating) and the money that will let me get my new cell phone (and no present from his parents that I don't quite know what to do with, which makes me happy).

Then, we came home, and I took a nap (because I need more than 3 hours of sleep to fully function). Since I've woken back up, I've been looking forward to our date night tonight (spaghetti, garlic bread, chocolate pie, sparkling grape juice, and a movie).

And now I must go, so I can help Ace with making the spaghetti (or at least help him stay entertained while he makes spaghetti).

TTFN!

P.S.: Monday, I get my new cell phone, and I am excited!!!!

Gifts and Cell Phones

Ace's gift is sitting in our living room (on a tray table) wrapped and waiting for him to open Wednesday at midnight (it's as long as I feel I can be able to tell him he can't open it). He already knows what his gift is (he was there when it was bought). He keeps teasing me about trying to let him open earlier than that, but I'm not budging (he can wait until then). He seriously doesn't mind waiting that long, even though he would like to have it already.

On a somewhat related note, while I don't know what this surprise he's got planned for me is (I'm still waiting), he is also planning on getting me a new cell phone soon (in a week, at the latest). I'm getting a new phone with a new phone number and a new service provider. I'm excited. Ace has thought about getting me the new phone Tuesday. He even teased that if I get the phone then, than he should get his present Tuesday too, but he wasn't serious. I teased back that he could hold on to my new phone until midnight, if that was going to be the arrangement.

I love Christmas, and I am so looking forward to spending the next few weeks celebrating it (Wednesday night with Ace, Thursday at lunch with his family, and the following Monday or Tuesday with my family). And, to make the whole thing more exciting, I'm not stressing out over all this like I was at Thanksgiving (I am seriously relaxed now that I'm done with all the shopping, which is so cool).

TTFN!

To Cut Or Not To Cut

I have long hair currently. It's down past the middle of my back (I think, I don't usually leave it down long enough to notice). It's also annoying me with how long it is. So, I plan on getting it cut.

I'm not sure when (probably after the new year) and I have no clue how I want it cut. All I know is that I have 2 rules when it comes to my hair.

1. No bangs. I dislike having any hair over my forehead, which is kind of the point with bangs. Plus, it took me a long while to grow them out.

2. It has to be an easy style to keep up. I currently wear my hair parted in the middle. I've been doing this for YEARS (since I was really, really little). I'm not sure I would be able to do much else with it. Also, I cannot use a curling iron (I know the theory of how to use one, but I just can't seem to grasp the application).

So those are my two simple rules for my hair.

Any suggestions on potential styles (I know that's hard with no picture of me to compare it to, but...)?

Photo Meme

Okay, I got tagged to do a photo meme.

The object of photo tag is to:

1. Choose the fourth folder where you store pictures on your computer
2. Select the fourth picture in the folder
3. Explain the picture
4. Tag four people to do the same

NO CHEATING! (Cropping, editing, etc!)




This is a fuzzy picture from when Ace and I went to the Tulsa Home and Garden Show (I'd link to the post where I first posted some pictures, but I can't find it). We were waiting to buy tickets to get in, and I snapped a picture. I probably should have deleted it.

Since I don't think I have four people who actually read my blog, you can do this meme if you want, just let me know (I got tagged by Jenna, so I don't expect her to do it again).

And this is the fourth picture from my third photo folder, as I don't have four folders of pictures on my computer. Someday, I'll download some of the 20 pictures of Guillermo that I've taken since his return, and I may post a picture of him then to truly fill all the major requirements of this meme.

See you later!

P.S.: My "little" sister turns 18 today (she's taller than I am, but she's younger).

Sex Heals

Yesterday (around 2 am), Ace and I had a rather serious talk. We made some decisions about spending time together and what things should cue what behaviors (when he gets home, I turn off the TV, push away my laptop, and get ready to spend time with him for at least 30 minutes). And while this was important, it was hard emotionally (yesterday, just about everything was hard emotionally).

Earlier (a few hours ago), Ace and I had sex. And I feel like our marriage has healed because of it. I feel much better with where we are now than I did 24 hours ago (we weren't mad or upset, I was just still feeling a little emotional).

In fact, I was able to tease Ace that if he did what he was planning on, I may not be able to speak English, which would make Christmas more interesting. He teased me back about trying to explain my lack of English to my father and pointing out that his family already thinks I'm kind of weird (partly because they think he is weird). Nicely, my ability to speak English has not been hampered in any way.

So, sometimes in a marriage, sex heals.

And it feels oh so good when that happens.

TTFN!

P.S.: Jenna, I'm taking the other advice you gave me. I'm sure it will help a lot. Thanks.

Ace's Surprise

Ace has decided to do something for me for Christmas. He's decided that it will be a surprise. So, he's got a few small things that he's requested.

1. I am not to check his e-mail until we go to my dad's for Christmas. That's not an issue, as I don't normally check his e-mail.

2. I am not to ask too many questions (he won't answer most of them) about my surprise because he won't answer them. This is only slightly less fun, as I am completely curious about what is going to happen.

So, for now I'm wondering about what he's planning and trying to be patient.

TTFN!

Santa Claus Is Comming To Town

I listened to the lyrics of the title song and thought about them for the first time ever.

Why does Santa care if I cry? If me crying is going to be what makes or breaks me getting a gift, he can keep his gift (I'll refrain from telling him and you where he can put it).

Does he only care if it's a temper tantrum type fit? If so, then cool. If not, then he needs to re-evaluate how he plans to distribute gifts to this house, because I've cried at most of the Christmas shows I've watched (and I refuse to stop watching them, because they are happy tears).

Ace agreed with me, shortly before he fell back asleep (he falls asleep quickly and can sleep almost any where, I wish I could do either of those). If the gift is dependent on not crying, this house isn't interested.

After all, a girl (or guy) should be able to cry if she (or he) needs to.

And that is my over thinking of Christmas carol. Come back soon to see what else I over think.

TTFN!

Update on Me

So, the hormone levels in my system have leveled back out and I'm not feeling so crazy/weepy/mopey any more. I'm not fully back to normal for me (I'm feeling jumpy), but I'm much closer (you know, since I'm still trying to figure out what normal is).

I took Jenna's advice. I went (or rather, Ace and I went) and bought me some large chocolate bars (I got two Symphony bars with the toffee, they are great, and a Mr. Goodbar, which I know I like). I still have 1 and 1/2 bars left, because I'm eating them 1/2 a bar at a time.

I'm still crying at Christmas shows, but I'm not surprised about that as they start pulling at my heart strings.

Now, if only I could get my Christmas shopping done (we'll be mostly done by Friday, I expect), I feel wonderful about how everything is going right now.

So, now you know how things are with me, how are things with you?

Struggling With Words

I'm at a loss. For the first time ever here, and for the first time in a long while, I'm struggling to find my own words.

Well, the words seem to be coming easily, it's more the topic that seems to be elusive. Instead of one cohesive post, my brain has been starting and stopping about a dozen different topics.

Which, I think, is indicative of my larger problem right now. I'm struggling with my desire to do something when I know that right now I need to just wait (this does not include my desire to clean my house, which I have no need to wait on).

I guess it's just that I'm ready for the next step, whatever that is, and I have to wait for it right now.

On the plus side, tomorrow I go to do some shopping and that should help me feel like I'm getting something accomplished lately.

Well, I'm going to go. I've got other things to distract myself with while I'm waiting.

TTFN!

Finding Center

Some times when I let my hope get up, I end up feeling crushed afterwards. That's where I am right now. But, I'm finding my way back towards my center.

I started my period today. I'm fighting off cramps with some Midol. I'm fighting off bad feelings with cartoons, mashed potatoes, and time with Ace (at least, I will).

I'm finding it hard sometimes to just be happy for others when I find out they are pregnant. I am happy for them, no matter what, but there is a part of me that also feels jealous that they seem to be pregnant without any struggle, and I'm here waiting month after month to find out if I finally achieved my goal. It's hard to see other people getting what they want and wondering why you don't have the exact same thing.

All of this makes being patient seem a little harder than it should sometimes. Because part of me wants to cry out, how long do I have to be patient? Isn't it someone else's turn to be patient yet? How many people are going to have to ask why we don't have kids yet? Why is there no time frame here for me?

And then the hormone rush starts leaving my system, and I start finding my center again. And I wait.

And I try again next month.

Cold Fronts (and Warm Hearts)

The weather in OK is never dull. I take that back, there are plenty of days where it is nice. The weather from October through December is never dull. It's like all the air systems that meet here can't decide what temperature it should be (most years, it just gradually gets colder and that's it, but that's boring to talk about).

On the 8th, it was in the 50s. On the 9th, the temperature dropped all day (with a huge wind chill). It's currently in the 20s (of course, it will warm up when the sun comes up) and feels like it's in the teens. It's COLD here. (Thursday, it's supposed to be back up to the 50s again.)

In a strange contrast, I've been tearing up at almost all the Christmas specials (there's a connection coming). While I've been wanting to stay under blankets to keep my body warm, my heart has been reminding me how warm it already is (see, I connected them). Of course, I'm also looking at some of these shows with a new set of eyes. There are some that I've decided won't be watched again (why were all the adults in Rudolph so rude?), some that I decided once was enough (Cranberry Christmas, if you've seen it you can probably figure out why), and some that I'm keeping to watch again (even if it made me tear up).

'Tis the season of contrasts, I guess. But I am missing the warmth of a few months ago.

Well, I'm going to go. If I add any more, I'll run into being random, and I'm trying to stop being quite so random in every post.

TTFN!

PS: If you're wondering, still nauseous at times, still waiting to take a pregnancy test (there are rules in this house about when test are allowed to be taken).

Praying for Relief

Oh, people. People.

I feel like throwing up. I don't want to eat anything (yes, I tried to see if I was mistaking hunger for nausea, but I'm not).

I'm praying that I'll start feeling better soon.

And now I need to lay back down, because otherwise, I think I'm going to fall over.

Ugh!

Freaky

And now, the winner for the freakiest thing I've done lately (possibly ever)...

Randomly crying when Ace made a joke earlier.

I was practically bawling. And the only thing to blame is hormones, because normally I would have rolled my eyes or laughed and moved on with my day.

I'm still wondering about what could have possibly set me off like that. On the plus side, I felt better afterward (when I calmed back down and we watched Johnny Dangerously).

I'm just wondering if this has anything to do with me tearing up at holiday commercials and Christmas specials (I teared up while watching Frosty and Crystal get married, which is a somewhat silly thing to tear up over).

Ace is starting to wonder if I might be pregnant (my period isn't due to start for another 24-72 hours). I'm just wondering if I'm getting all emotional like I did when I was a teenager (The week before my period, anything could make me cry or make me angry for no real reason. I scared my dad a couple of times by crying at one of his jokes because he had bad timing.) and am really hoping that I'm not. It wasn't fun the first time around and it hasn't happened in years.

So, yeah, I'm trying not to be freaked out by my random emotional outburst earlier and have moved on to trying to joke about it. I'm not sure that any of this is reassuring Ace that his wife is still sane.

If you have any suggestions on what could help me continue to be sane, please let me know.

Lessons Learned and Other Randomness

Looking back on my posts for the month of November, I've found that I'm satisfied with all but 3 of them. Which works out to being happy with 90% of my writing for the month. Also, it means that roughly 10% of the time, if there isn't a post, it's because I don't have anything to say. So, it was a good experiment.

On a completely different track, I'm trying to start doing yoga (by DVD, which isn't the best way possible, but it's what I can do for now). Karen, my massage therapist friend, suggested that I do that as a way to get more relaxed over all (so it would be easier on her when she gives me massages). It's been interesting, and so far, I've spent way too much time just watching the DVD, realizing that I need to get in better shape. And Guillermo likes to get in my face when I'm down at his level.

Ace and I, in an attempt to show some Christmas spirit around the house, have hung up stockings in the living room. The dog does not have his own stocking, but I'm fairly sure he doesn't care. I'm hoping for a house big enough for a tree by next Christmas.

I spent 10 minutes today cleaning stuff off the floor from my side of the bed. I didn't realize I had so much stuff down there. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with my 2 blankets (1 for when it's cold and 1 for when it's just me that's cold) when they aren't in use so they won't be in the way of my laptop tray thingy (the one I injured my toe on the other day).

Now that I've gotten some of my words out, I'm going to go do something I promised Ace I would. Because I'm a woman of my word.

TTFN!

In Which I Prove to Still Be Somewhat Clumsy

Ace, the wonderful love of my life, bought me something to make my life easier. He got me a laptop cart thing that can slide under the bed so that I can use my laptop without having to put it on my actual lap. He put it together and asked me from time to time what I thought of it. So far, I'm still not sure how I feel, but we'll see if it stays with me.

I was moving myself (and my laptop cart) from the living room to the bedroom. I decided to not keep pushing it with my juice on it so that I wouldn't spill (and to move something out of the way). Instead, I tripped over part of the base portion and stubbed my toe (I'm icing it now, as it still hurts). I also spilled part of my juice (nicely, none of it hit my laptop).

To add to the "fun", I almost fell over trying to put some pajama pants on.

Yeah, I really need to be more careful of where things are in relation to where my body is. Until then, I'll make sure to keep things around to icing down my unintended injuries.

TTFN!

Control, TV, and Randomness

OK, I wasn't going to post today, but I have words and they are bursting to come out (if Ace didn't have to work today, he would be asking me to settle down for a little while, I think). Unfortunately for you, dear readers, I have a bunch of random things that all want to be said all at once, and you're just going to either have to skip today's post to avoid it or deal with it.

1. I have recently decided that I'm a bit of a control freak about some things (like how laundry is folded). And I need to let go of that need for control, because it's not healthy (I stress myself out about those things under my control). So, I'm trying to relax and remember to breath and to not worry about whether or not the dishes are done right away or how Ace folds clothes when we pack to go somewhere.

2. Tomorrow, we get an HD-DVR installed in the living room. Ace wants to take the DVR that's in there now and put it in the bathroom so that I will use it to record shows I like and spend more time relaxing in the tub (even if it's just for an episode of one of my favorite shows or listening to one of the music stations). We'll see how this all works out, but it has possibilities. More than the bribe attempt that never actually happened.

3. Speaking of DVRs and TV, my dad suggested that I record all my favorite Christmas shows and keep them so I can watch them whenever (I was already planning on recording them, but I hadn't thought about keeping them). So, now I'll be able to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the 30 min. cartoon) and the Frosty episodes whenever I want (year round) because of my dad.

4. Our house, over the past couple of days has had issues with the temperature dropping severely in our bedroom and the kitchen. It would be 74 in the living room and 69 in the bedroom (5 degrees is severe to me). Today, I left the fan on in the bedroom and so far it's stayed around where it's supposed to. I wonder if there is some connection to those two things.

And now that I've got some of the extreme randomness out, I'm going to go back to watching the Grinch, because it makes me smile.

TTFN!