The Mailbox

Our mailbox had been barely hanging onto it's post. We've really been needing to fix it for a while, but it's been low on our list of things to do.

Sometime in the past 24 hours, the mailbox lost it's tenuous grip on the post, and fell off. I'm guessing it happened sometime this afternoon, given that we didn't get a knock on the door with our mail from the postal worker.

Nicely, the kid who mows our lawn came to let me know, which gave me a good reason to actually go out to grab the mail. The mailbox is currently sitting back on top of it's post, but I doubt it's going to stay there. And I really don't have a way of fixing it right now.

This is just one more thing I don't think I'll miss about this house when we do actually move out of it, whenever that may be.

Oh, the joys of home maintenance!

7 Years

7 years ago, Ace and I met.

Today is Ace's grandmother's birthday. 7 years ago, on this day, he went to visit his grandmother (as did his parents, but in a separate car) and then he was invited to go to a cookout that his brother's college/young professionals church group was having. After initially refusing to go, Ace changed his mind.

I, on the other hand, was at my college apartment (it was an apartment literally owned by my college) trying to figure out what to wear to that very same cookout, as I was in the same church group (yep, I knew and was friends with Ace's brother a while before I ever met Ace). I wanted to hang out with friends and forget that I was interested in meeting a guy (the last guy I had met that was a potential boyfriend was flirting with other girls behind my back, which was only an issue because it was behind my back). I just wanted to have some fun.

Arriving at the cookout, I found out that a majority of my friends were watching a football game (something I'm not interested in). So, I made my way away from the football game, to sit and just try to clear my head. Then Ace's brother decided to come say hi, which lead to Ace following him shortly afterward because he (Ace) thought I was cute.

After a little while, Ace's brother decided to drift away and go back to watching the football game. Ace decided to stay by me and try to get to know me better. After a little while, his brother and another friend came back over and we decided to play Spades. Ace was originally partnered with his brother, but he pointed out that they had grown up together, so it probably wouldn't be the best combination. That was apparently a test to see who I would switch places with (or who I would demand to switch places). I switched places with Ace's brother, which is what Ace was hoping for, and the we played a few hands of Spades before it was time to go.

At that time, Ace offered to take me home, but I'm fairly sure that the group I rode down to the cookout with wouldn't have been as comfortable with me riding with a virtual stranger, so I declined his offer. But, we did start talking the very next day, and decided we were dating by the next week (at least, Ace had decided that and just told me we were dating).

And that is the story of how Ace and I met. Now you know.

Searching for Words

I've been quieter lately. Not just here, but in real life too.

I think I'm just not sure what the right words are to describe anything lately. I'm not depressed, but I'm not feeling quite myself either.

I'm feeling quiet, which isn't totally odd, because I don't have an outgoing personality (although, I do have a tendency to get louder and seemingly outgoing as I get to know someone better). I think that the quiet is because of all the changes we've recently made, including Guillermo going back to his new family. I think this is just a time of adjustment, and it's taken away my ability to communicate.

I think, for the first time in a while, I'm just not sure what to say or do or think or feel, so I've just gotten quiet. I'm trying to get still. I'm trying to find center. I'm trying to find the right words.

So, there you have it. I'm quiet because I don't know what else to be right now. And I think I'm okay with that.

Finding Strength

Sometimes, I find myself surprised that I'm not a quivering mass hiding under the blankets, because I figured that this or that would be the last thing I could handle at this point.

And yet, I still find the ability to continue on with life instead of hiding. I find hidden stores of emotional strength just when I think I've reached my breaking point.

More and more lately I've been wondering exactly how this happens, but tonight I realized why. It's because of God's grace.

Every time I think I'm at a breaking point, I find that he's given me the grace and the strength to continue. In fact, he seems to give me enough grace to find peace and humor in my situation.

That isn't to say that I never have tears to shed or a desire to skip past certain things. It just that the tears don't stay and there is grace to help me through those uncomfortable times.

I still find it amazing and awe-inspiring that God loves me enough to ensure that I'm not a quivering mass under my blanket, but instead am strong enough to hold my head up high and keep pushing through the bad times until I get to the good times.

And if He does it for me, He'll do it for you too. Because while I'm special to God, so are you.

Falling in Love Again

Ace and I spend his lunchtime texting back and forth. Today we talked about my wish that I was currently pregnant and not on my period.

Me: Don't you wish I was pregnant?
Ace: That would be nice. Yes.
Me: Because it would make me happy?
Ace: That's one reason.
Me: And what are the others?
Ace: It would make me happy too.

Now I ask you, how can I not fall in love again with someone who feels that way?

The simple answer is that I can't. He's just too sweet and perfect (for me) to not fall in love with all over again. And he keeps doing things or saying things to keep that happening.

Waiting, But Not

Oh people. This is a weird time. I'm waiting on several things to happen. The only thing I'm not waiting on is to find out if I'm pregnant or not (not).

I'm waiting for Karen & her new husband to get home from their honeymoon to pick Guillermo back up.

I'm waiting on my period to end, even though it just started.

I'm waiting on DVDs to come in the mail from Blcokbuster (Get Smart, for the laughs).

I'm waiting on Ace to get off work, even though his work day just started, so that we can be together again.

I'm waiting on the other big change I know is coming, but I'm not sure when it will get here.

And, while doing all this waiting, I'm trying to remind myself that there is more to life than just waiting. Because lately (and by lately, I mean most of the past year), that seems to be all I've been doing.

On the plus side, I've never been so patient.

Relaxing

Or: Today I Really Feel Like a Bum, Because I'm Taking the Day Off After Not Doing Much Lately

Yesterday, I spent too much time leaning forward and looking at stuff on my laptop. So, Ace and I agreed that today I would take it easy.

And, for the first time, I'm feeling like I'm being really lazy because I didn't do much during his days off. On the other hand, I know that it would be a good plan to take it easy so that I can actually do stuff around the house again tomorrow.

But I'm feeling like I'm being really lazy right now. And it's bugging me.

P.S.: I'm pretty sure that my hormones are making me cranky right now.

Guillermo's Accident

In the short time between when we gave Guillermo back to Karen and took him back to dog-sit for the honeymoon, he managed to get injured some. He's okay, but he's still healing.

According to Karen, they were out at the wedding site (or on their way? I'm a little fuzzy on that detail) and Guillermo got all muddy. So, when it was time to leave, they put him in the bed of the truck for the ride home. Well, he leaned out of the side, further than he should have been, and was enjoying himself (why do dogs like having their heads out the window when riding in a car?). The had just decided to stop and put him in the truck, when they got distracted with some firefighters collecting money.

Well, a short time later, they realized they couldn't see Guillermo's head in the back anymore. They pull over and realize that he's no longer in the bed of the truck and there are scratch marks from where he tried to hold on down the side of the truck. They go back and find him bleeding a lot and having made a mess of himself, which freaked Karen out because she couldn't stop thinking that there could be serious internal injuries.

So, they get him in the truck and rush him to the emergency vet. The vet sedates him so they can clean his injuries properly (they are mostly on his face). And, of course, they have to shave a few spots to ensure they get everything fixed up right.

From what we can see, he got a big gash on his face and couple of smaller injuries to go with it. I have to keep reminding myself that half of what makes his injury look so bad is that his face was partially shaved. But, he's obviously doing fine and it'll just take some time for all the scabs to be done and the fur to grow back so he'll look like the Guillermo we know and love.

But it's odd to see him injured like this, and it almost makes him seem smaller and more fragile. Karen is now determined that he will never ride anywhere but inside the car/truck to keep this from being a problem again. And we're all reminded that life is fragile and should be treasured.

P.S.: The wedding was beautiful, even if they did have to move it inside at the last minute because of weather and even if they didn't have the music they wanted to play during the wedding.

Excitement Barely Contained

Tomorrow, Karen is getting married. Oddly, this has required a bit of planning on my part that has nothing to do with her wedding plans. Mostly planning when I am going to do certain things.

Today is laundry day, which doesn't mean a whole lot, but it's also the day we are getting Guillermo back to dog-sit him until they return from their honeymoon, which meant that I had to put the lock back on the gate. Tonight, after Ace gets home from work, I'm making a run to Wal-mart to buy some nail polish (and possible a sleep mask, if I can find one). Then, I'll come home and paint my nails.

Tomorrow, I get to get up, shave, iron my skirt and Ace's shirt, and then try to relax for a couple of hours until it's time to go. Then, we get to put Guillermo outside and go watch our friend get married (she has said that she's putting us to work when we get there, so I'm not quite sure when we should get there).

So, I'm excited over here. I'm containing my excitement, but just barely.

TTFN!

P.S.: I'm waiting, as usual. Waiting gets kind of repetitive after a while, so you can see why I don't constantly talk about it each month.

Stress Release and Spaghetti Arrms

Today, Karen came by the house to give us a map to the wedding location and to pick up the money for a sofa that we'll get from her and her hubby to be eventually (it'll get to us, no one is quite sure when at this point). And then we provided her some stress relief by talking to her a little and making her laugh some. We also let her release some stress by listening to her talk about how stressful the past few weeks of wedding planning have been.

I know that after the wedding on Saturday her stress levels will drop a lot, but for now all the wedding details are driving her a little batty. She's actually happy that we only had a couple of quick and easy to do requests for her (dropping off a map, making sure she really didn't care which pants Ace wears to her wedding, and making plans for us to start dog-sitting Guillermo through their honeymoon). She didn't care about what pants Ace wears, as long as he doesn't distract from her on her wedding day, so we made her laugh with a suggestion of a bright orange suit.

Then, we did our clothes shopping for the wedding. Ace already had a shirt, but I was in need of one for wearing (also, I was potentially getting shoes, but instead I'll stick with a pair we already had). I found two shirts that will work, and after we got home I discovered that we got a great deal because the cost for both shirts was less than the original cost for one of the shirts individually.

Around 5, I did my exercises to help my shoulder, but I think I over-did it, because now my arms feel like spaghetti. They'll work, but they complain about it if there is any weight used.

So, yeah. Today was about stress reduction and spaghetti arms. Because that's how all random days go, right?

Adapting to Change

I've not been posting much lately, but a good part of that is that I've been trying to adjust to all these changes. The oddest part is that I'm starting to miss Guillermo a lot while Ace is at work in the evening.

That feels really odd, as Ace has only worked one evening so far.

However, I think the new sleep schedule is going to drive me crazy. Because we can stay up late at night, which Ace and I both prefer, we are staying up late at night. And then I still feel tired when I get up, which isn't all that different from before the shift change.

It's just been a weird time right now. But I'll find my bearings again soon.

Schedule Changes

One of the many changes coming up is Ace's work schedule is changing. He's going to start working afternoons and evenings. His days off are changing too.

It's going to be different, but I think it will work better for us to have him working in the evenings instead of the mornings.

But, we'll see how it all works out.

And now, I've got to go mess with my laundry, because laundry day waits for no one.

TTFN!

Oh The Clogging!

Friday, I tried to vacuum up the dog hair from the living room. Only, there didn't seem to be any change in the floor (other than some obvious vacuum cleaner lines). Since our vacuum is bagless, I thought that it must be the filter being caked with dirt that was causing the issues.

So, we bought a new filter for the vacuum cleaner yesterday, and I tried vacuuming the carpet today. Only, I still had a problem with not getting anything up.

So, I look at the bottom of the vacuum cleaner, to see if the tube is blocked down there. Other than a lot of dog hair caught in the wheels, there isn't anything obviously keeping the vacuum from working.

Then, I noticed the part of the tube that attaches to the canister. It's full of dog hair, maybe that's the problem.

On the plus side, it's only attached to the vacuum by two screws, so I can easily remove it and try to fix the problem and then reattach it.

On the minus side, I really don't have anything to easily stick in this tube to get all the hair out. So, I grab a metal hanger (it wasn't being used, and was oddly the only purely metal hanger we have) and I straighten it out as much as possible and use it to clear out the hair. And, I quickly reattach the hose.

Then, I use the vacuum again, trying to actually get my floors cleaner, only to notice that it's clogged up again. So, I get to do this whole thing all over again.

On the plus side, there isn't a dog to add more dog hair to the floor and make this a continual problem in the future. And, I didn't have to just buy an new vacuum.

But, I did get rather dirty trying to fix the problem. And I didn't get around to folding and putting away my laundry today, because after working on the vacuum twice, my back was done with housework for the day.

Oh the joys of cleaning house!

Change Is In The Air

After a few months of just waiting for some change to happen, I'm suddenly faced with lots of changes happening in a fairly short amount of time. Changes that I'm not fully ready to talk about.

The one change I am ready to say something about is that Guillermo is no longer our dog. He's Karen's dog again (she gave him to us while she couldn't keep him, and now we've given him back). He is a wedding present for the whole family-to-be (2 adults, 4 kids).

She took him back today, even though the wedding isn't for a few weeks. It's better for everyone.

And so a season of change has started for this house. And as we find more things that belong to Guillermo, we'll have more to give them at the wedding. Now, Ace and I have to get used to it being just the two of us again.

Frustration with My Back

Tonight, I'm being reminded why it is that I get frustrated with my back some times.

Ace and I have figured out the best things to do to minimize my discomfort with my back when it comes to things like grocery shopping (he moves most of the groceries back into the cart, and everything from the cart to the trunk) or housework (I take it slow, do some chores shortly after getting up, and do about one chore a day).

And then, all I have to do to mess that stuff up is sleep funny and I'm suddenly unable to stand still for short periods of time without my lower back protesting, strongly.

It's frustrating to find myself planning to do some hand-wash dishes, only to wake up and realize that I'm not doing anything that requires me to stand still for more than a minute today, because my back won't let me (and I know better than to just push through, as the punishment will be worse than an extra day needing to do dishes).

So, I make plans, and know that we'll see in the morning if those plans will actually come about. And I make back up plans for what to do, housework wise, for if the original plans fall through (because of my back).

Later (after I get some sleep, as it is the wrong time for doing anything but sleeping), the goal is some dishes being hand-washed and Ace's hair being cut. The back up plan is cleaning half the bathroom and cutting Ace's hair (that won't take long, and he really needs that hair cut).

TTFN!

Blindsided

While I have a good relationship with my dad, we don't talk much. I tend to get wrapped up in day to day life (or rather, stuff on TV that I watch in my day to day life) and I forget to do basic human kindness stuff like write him e-mails.

So, when I say that I was blindsided by his news of a cancer scare, know that it is mostly my fault and that he probably wanted to keep me from worrying about him (he was busy worrying about himself and trying to keep my step-mother from being completely freaked out).

He doesn't have cancer. That caught it in pre-cancer stages. They probably got it all, he's probably going to be fine for a long time. But...

He's more at risk now. He'll probably have to be screened more often for potential cancer. I need to find out what kind it could have been and now my siblings and I have to keep in mind that we need to keep our eyes open for symptoms in the future.

Right now, I wish I was sitting with my dad. I wish I was there, like my sister is, just spending time with him. I wish I had kids already, so they could get to know him. I wish Ace wasn't at work, because I'm just not sure how to handle all this and I know I can't go anywhere until tomorrow night, because Ace has work tomorrow too (which would give me a chance to get my laundry done).

I wish I could breath easy. I wish I knew what to say. I wish this whole thing had never happened so that I could stay in my safe little world which currently feels like it's coming crashing down.

But, for all my wishes, I have to deal with reality. So, for now, I'll be sitting over here reminding myself to breathe and trying to distract myself until Ace gets home and I can talk with him about all of this.

And the next time I see my dad, I think I'll spend extra time just enjoying the fact that he's here and fairly healthy. Plus, I'll give him an extra long hug. I think we could both use it.

A Brief History of Cramps

Or: Sometimes It Sucks to be a Girl

WARNING: This may be a little graphic. Sorry, but I need to get this off my chest (or would that be my uterus?). Also, I don't know why I feel the need to share this now, but I am.

On the first day of my period (thankfully, a day that was roughly a week ago for me), I get cramps. Bad ones. Make me want to curl into a ball and cry ones.

Unless I take Midol at the first sign that I've moved past minor spotting to the full on start of my period. Then, it usually kills the pain before it starts.

When I was a teenager, I wouldn't think of taking something to kill the pain. Which always made shopping look interesting. One minute, I'd be browsing at my normal height, then next I would be crouched down and walking at that level (it did seem to drop the level of pain, at the time). Of course, as a teenager it didn't seem likely that stretching those hurting muscles would help make them stop hurting either.

Because of these bad cramps, I've learned to keep Midol in stock in my house and to move some near where I'll be when I first start noticing signs that my period is definitely going to start soon (like, spotting). I've also learned that on the first day of my period, I should wear the loosest pants I can.

So, yeah. Some days it sucks being a girl. But, one day a month isn't that bad, right?

Laughing Instead of Crying

A short while ago, less than 30 minutes, I got myself some food (queso and tortilla chips). I set down the chips and the queso to go get the mail while Guillermo was out, enjoying the yard.

Then, I moved something, slightly, and the queso fell.

I took a few moments to move stuff around, so that Guillermo could more easily get to the queso to lick it up (he doesn't get queso that often, as we don't eat it that often... and usually he just gets to lick the bowl). Then, I pulled the jar of queso back out of the fridge, put on some flip flops, and went and got the mail.

Nicely, he wasn't staring at me while I ate my late lunch (I kept getting distracted with my mental to do list and forgot to make myself something to eat until a little while ago), because he was too busy cleaning up my accident. Of course, since I was having queso, he was happy to lick my bowl when I was finished. I think that currently he's fairly happy with me, even if he is frustrated that I keep shooing him off from licking the floor where he's gotten most of the queso up already (I guess that it still tastes like queso to him, but he really doesn't need to keep licking the floor).

Nicely, I mostly found the whole thing funny. A small part of me wanted to cry, but the feeling passed quickly and then I just wanted to laugh at the whole incident.

At least one member of the household was made happy by the whole thing.

TTFN!

A Comedy of Errors

Today, Ace and I did some grocery shopping. When we were finished, we stopped by the gas pumps to fill up before coming home.

While Ace was pumping gas, I had some visual entertainment from some other car coming up to get gas.

First, they tried to pull in front of us, because Ace had used the back pump (the one ahead was out of service). Then, they couldn't get the car re-started (it had died), because there wasn't enough gas in it to start up again. So, the two guys in the car got out to push it to another pump.

As they are pushing, the driver's pants look like they are going to fall off of him, because he was wearing loose pants, slung low to show off his boxers (a look I've never understood). I saw his legs below the boxers from the droop of the pants.

So, they get the car to another pump, and the driver gives his passenger money for gas. Then, they discover that they need to be members of Sam's Club to use the pumps there (we had just been shopping at Sam's, so it was the closest place for us to get gas for the car). When we left, the driver was on the phone and the worker of the gas station's box was trying to help him figure out what he needed to do to buy gas.

Ace, as we are headed home, mentions to me that they had to have passed at least one other gas station before this one where they could have paid for gas with cash and not needed anything else to achieve their goal.

It was an amusing way to spend a few minutes while waiting for us to be ready to go home. And I was happy that it was someone else dealing with all the errors.

Planning Ahead

I'm awake tonight not because of my brain, but because I'm planning ahead into our future. I'm reading a book on homeschooling, because when we have kids, Ace and I plan on homeschooling (no, there is no correlation between me reading about homeschooling and any definite knowledge of the future. I just really like to be informed sometimes).

We are excited about the possibilities, even though we aren't looking forward to the discussion with Ace's parents on why we are homeschooling (we both dislike public schools, with a passion). Ace's mother was a public school teacher (She retired at the end of May. At least, the last I heard that had been the plan.), so I don't think this plan is going to make her feel warm and fuzzy about us. Although, I think she was getting tired of teaching to the No Child Left Behind tests.

So, tonight I'm excited about the future, whenever it may come.