Monday, December 6, 2010

Let's Talk About Adoption

Ace and I aren't talking about us adopting a child at this point. We're not ready to meet all the criteria for someone to be willing to let us raise a child (I know they want you to support yourself and have enough funds to support a child before they hand over a kid). That doesn't mean that I'm not reading up on adoption though.

My reasons are two fold. One, I want to adopt someday and I want to have the knowledge of how the process works and what to expect when raising an adopted child. Especially since I'm not talking about adopting a baby, but want to adopt a slightly older child, which adds to potential problems. Two, my book includes a guy who has adopted, so I need to be knowledgeable about how that happens to make my book realistic.

I originally got interested in learning more about adoption after finding out/understanding that my dad is adopted (it wasn't a big secret, I just didn't really understand what that meant for a long time). My grandmother adopted him when he was 3 days old. In college, I did a research paper on adoption, because the subject interested me. I talked with someone on campus who adopted. Interestingly for me, he had questions about my view of adoption, seeing as I was the child of an adoptee. Mostly he wondered if I wondered about my biological grandparents. To be honest, until he asked I hadn't really thought about them, but after that I was slightly curious (not curious enough to do anything about it, just curious enough to wonder).

I do think that my grandmother's decision to adopt has helped me make a similar decision. It showed me, in a very understated way, that a person could choose to love someone, that families come together in more than just one way. I love my grandmother, and I know that she loves me. But the connection we have to each other is one that was chosen, because it's not one that's based on DNA.

I won't compare my grandmothers' affections towards me, as that would be unfair to both of them. My mom's mom had 7 children. To her, I'm one of many grandchildren (at least 14, and now there are many great-grandchildren in the picture). To my dad's mom, I'm one of 3 grandchildren and I was the only one for a long time. I'm special, because she helped take care of me when I was still in diapers. She helped raise me, to a degree. And for a little while, it looked like I'd be her only grandchild. But they both love me. And that is what is truly important in my life.

I don't know quite where I'm going with all of this. I may never fully figure it all out. I just know that someday, I plan on adopting a child. I'm not sure if I would have ever decided that without my grandmother doing it first. But she did and I do. And now I'm going to go read about adoption.
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