Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Nothing to Say

I haven't forgotten to post, I just haven't really had anything I wanted to say publically. I've been working on not having such wonky feelings lately (I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately, and I don't know why).

I haven't been doing anything big in my house. I haven't been doing anything but brain teasers for the most part the past few days.

I'm feeling overwhelmed with the need for a vacation. Which is stupid, because there isn't anything that should have me feeling that way. I'm mainly feeling that the world is just too harsh and painful, which is stupid, because I know it's beautiful and happy too (more so, in fact). And saying all that feels like I'm whining about my life. The one where I'm a housewife, trying to get everything organized and pretty, because what is there to really whine about? The dog getting in the trash? Eh, his food's been cut down and he thinks he's hungry all the time. The dishes needing to be washed? It means I've had plenty of food/drink to satisfy me.

And so, I've been silent, because who wants to read about someone whining?


Friday, May 23, 2008

Some Things Get Easier, Some Things Don't

As sweeps/season finale weeks finish up (or did on Wednesday for all the shows I watch), I'm frustrated with how they all ended (except House, because I haven't watched that yet... I'm too nervous after everything else). Every show seemed to feel like it needed to do something drastic to get viewers to show up again in the fall (is there something big that I don't know about happening this fall? I don't think the presidential election would stop most people from watching their favorite shows). And, ultimately, I don't think I'll ever feel ready to talk about any of the season finales.

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum, I've been working quite a bit this past week on cleaning and organizing our house. My living room is almost fully organized. In fact, we've rearranged the living room slightly. We've got bookcases (mostly filled with books!) looking all nice. We've got room to grow (including adding all the books that are scattered throughout the rest of the house). We've got all our DVDs organized, also with room to grow.

Ace and I had a talk about how I don't ever want to feel like I'm a drain (because other people's drama is my drama too, sometimes). He pointed out that he wants me to learn about real estate for just that reason. Then we got into both of us feeling all happy, because I am a contributing member of this house and I'm not draining anything without me working. It was all a very nice and happy discussion that left me feeling good about my life.

And now you know most of what I've been doing while I've not been posting.

The only other thing I've been doing is spending way too much time each day looking at brain teasers. It's an odd thing, but it's been entertaining.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm Not Ready To Talk Yet

Season finales are getting to me. I'm not ready to talk about any of them (lots of cast changes in my favorite shows).

I'm not ready to talk about Prince Caspian either.

Unfortunately for you, those are the only things on my mind.

I'm sure I'll have something I am ready to talk about soon, but for now, you get me saying that I'm just not ready to talk. Sorry.


Saturday, May 17, 2008

From Sad to Happy in Less than 24 Hours

When Ace got home from work last night, we talked. I mentioned that I was needing time/touch. So, we talked, cuddled, and relaxed. It was nice. We both had missed it.

We're going to make sure we don't have the same thing happen again next month (when I'm on my period, we don't seem to do well at cuddling, I'm not sure why). We're going to spend at least an half hour each day talking and close.

We're also both trying to get healthier. We're both going to exercise. I'm going to do crunches and Ace is going to work out at the fitness center at his job. I'm also going to try to watch less TV and listen to the word more (as well as actually working on cleaning the house).

But, I'm no longer feeling the need to scream. I'm more in the mood to sing right now. And this is nice, I've missed it. Sometimes, I forget how quickly I can drift away from happiness and into stressed and sad. I'm trying to work on that, because it's very easy to keep it from happening.


Friday, May 16, 2008

The Pain of Feeling Too Much

Today, I feel like screaming. And I have no clue why. Everything is hitting me harder than normal today. I'm feeling other people's frustration/pain/whatever. I want to scream over it. Or cry. Whichever.

It doesn't help that Ace and I haven't spent time together just talking and touching and whatever it is that I need right now.

And so, I'm wanting to curl up in a ball and not move, but there are things to do. So, I'm forcing myself to be a big girl and do housework.

And I'm hoping to get some alone time with Ace sometime soon. (FYI, it's not Ace's fault that I haven't mentioned that I'm needing time, he can't read my mind.)


Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Ace and I like talking about what we plan on doing when we have kids. It's ridiculous, because we don't have kids yet, but it helps pass the time (and get us used to the idea of having kids).

Tonight, we were talking about what we plan on doing about birthdays. Mainly, we plan on keeping it simple. Cake, ice cream, presents, a few friends (maybe), and that's pretty much it. I haven't been to any parties where it was over the top, but I've read enough stories about it to be over the idea already.

So, as with most things in my life, I prefer to have simplicity. I think part of it is because I'm feel like I'm a complex enough person. I dislike being labeled, yet like mentally labeling other people (that is the simplest example I could come up with).

I'm going to go. I'm watching stuff on the DVR, and it's distracting me from writing.


Monday, May 12, 2008

Mental Silence

I've not posted because I've been trying hard not to think about my mother. I've also been trying to avoid thinking about the fact that I started my period just hours before Mother's Day started.

I've been trying to think of the fact that I'll get to go on a date tomorrow. Well, it's more of Ace and I are going to get some Chinese food from the mall and then we're watching a movie that we've got borrowed from Blockbuster. But it's been a while since we've done dinner and a movie (I've actually got a date next Tuesday too!).

Oh, have I forgotten to mention that Ace's schedule has changed some? Starting this week, he's got Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. It should be a good deal, when we all adjust to it. Right now, I think the dog has adjusted the best so far.

So, since I've been trying to distract myself with some things, I haven't posted. Because those things haven't been very far down in my mind.

And now I'll go back to watching Popeye (on DVD) and distracting myself.


Saturday, May 10, 2008

Deconstructing Cinderella

Despite what the title of this post says, I actually love the story of Cinderella. It's been my favorite since I was a little girl. I love the way the story flows and I used to wish it would happen to me.

But let's look seriously at how realistic this story is (ignoring the fairy godmother part, because I like a little magic in my stories).

A girl is doing something innocent, like shopping with her family (her step-sisters and step-mother, who are naturally evil, are making her carry everything). She nearly gets run down by a carriage, which came out of no where and disappeared back into no where just as quickly, and a prince who is hiding who he is comes to help her gather her things back up. This is, of course, the boy mets girl section of the story. It's nice, they feel something for each other, but aren't sure what. And as quickly as they meet, they are pulled apart, back into their normal worlds.

Girl goes home to cook, clean, and do all the household chores while her family gets to rest and yet she's still prettier than they are.

Boy goes back to the palace and finds that his parents are throwing a party to find him a wife. Every eligible girl will be there to throw themselves at him because, well, he's the prince.

Girl magically gets to the party, looking prettier than anyone else. She is unrecognized by her family, or even the prince (who can be forgiven, because they only had a brief meeting). They fall in love at first, well technically second, sight (I'm not saying this is impossible, it's just very improbable). They spend the entire time she has available at the ball together, until she dashes off at midnight, leaving behind a glass slipper (which is a silly shoe type for dancing or even walking, in my opinion).

Boy travels throughout the kingdom trying glass slipper on everyone's foot, trying to find his girl (ignoring body type, rough height, and facial characteristics to rule out most of the people he's coming in contact with. This part works better if it's only a servant sent out, since he probably wouldn't know such things).

Evil step-mother locks girl away to keep her from getting to try on the slipper, because she's figured out who they are searching for. She's hoping one of her daughters will mysteriously have the exact same shoe size, even though she should know what shoe sizes everyone has (at least roughly, because don't most girls borrow each others shoes?).

Despite step-mother's attempts, girl ends up running into prince/servant. She tries on the glass slipper (or produces it's match) and reveals to everyone that she was the one who the prince fell in love with. She's swept off to marry him, almost immediately.

It's all, I guess, possible, it's just extremely unlikely. Mostly that a father who loves his daughter, like Cinderella's father obviously did, would leave her in the care of someone like her step-mother could only possibly happen if he died shortly after the wedding (within days, possibly).

And why are the prince's parents so interested in him getting married so quickly. They aren't likely to be dying anytime soon, so it seems odd that they are want him to produce an heir already. And don't princes normally get married for political reasons?

The story is great, I love it, but when you shine the light of reality on it, it becomes obvious that it's just a story and unlikely to happen in real life. Impossible when you add the fairy godmother into the mix (she's a wonderful dues ex machina to move the story along and get Cinderella to the ball).

And yet, I love the idea of the impossible happening, which probably explains why I love this story so much even when I look at it knowing these things are impossible.


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Things I'm Finding Annoying

Yeah, you get a list today.

1. We have ants in the house. The ants make me feel uncomfortable. And why are the ants in the bathroom, where there is no food? Why do they come into the house each spring when it gets warm?

2. We had so much rain last night that it got into our ducts. This means we should probably get them all re-run in our attic. Which probably won't be extremely cheap. Hopefully our insurance will cover most of it.

3. We recently watched an episode of Bones that ended up by saying fraternal twins (of opposite gender) would have the exact same DNA. Anyone who watches any CSI-type show would know this isn't true.

4. The fact that I can't seem to think of more than three or four things for lists lately. It's annoying!


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

2 Long Hours

We had to reschedule Guillermo's vet appointment to today.

His appointment was at 9 (I haven't seen 9 am since I stopped working, it's early when you go to bed around 2 am). We talked to the nurse, found out his ears are dirty (we'll be cleaning them this week, yay!), found out that he is really overweight (he should be a maximum of 80 lbs, he's roughly 122), found out what his new diet will be, got his shots up-to-date (he seems to be fine, but I'm sure he didn't love getting the shots), found out that he doesn't like having his butt messed with (temperature taking, he hates it), got him new diet food (he'll be slowly moved over to it from the current food to the diet food), set up an appointment for him to be groomed (Thursday, he won't have too long of nails, yay!), set up an appointment for the second part of his shots (hopefully in the next 3 weeks he'll be 10 lbs lighter and we can schedule his teeth cleaning), got health insurance for him, and got him stuff for flea and tick prevention (which probably won't be used until after he gets groomed).

All of that took almost 2 hours (we got home shortly after 11).

I took a nap. Ace did the laundry and also took a nap.

The morning was definitely all about the dog, but he's fairly healthy over all (other than being overweight and needing a grooming).

I think I've done pretty much all I'm going to do for the day.


Monday, May 5, 2008


I'm not sure why, but tonight I feel a little worn.

The desire to do little but sleep and eat has come back.

I should talk to Ace, because I know he would help me feel better, but it feels like a little too much right now.

Hopefully at this time tomorrow I won't feel quite so worn.


Sunday, May 4, 2008

Update on Guillermo

He's feeling fine today. He's not eaten much of his food, but he has eaten today. He's also shown lots of energy.

That is all.


Saturday, May 3, 2008

Concerned About the Dog

Guillermo seems to be feeling bad today. He threw up 3 times, he's moving slowly, he's not eating.

So, I've spent quite a bit of my evening concerned about the dog. I've checked on him more often than I normally do.

Monday, we've got an appointment to have him checked out by vet. I'll be feeling better after that trip, unless he starts acting normal tomorrow.

So, for now I'm concerned about the dog.


Thursday, May 1, 2008

The Worst Thing of Living in Oklahoma

... is that your show gets preempted if there is bad weather, even if it's not anywhere near you. As long as it's within broadcast range, you miss your show.

I think that's part of why shows are being shown online. For those of us living in tornado alley to keep up with our favorite shows.

I guess that means I'll be actually watching CSI tomorrow when it's on CBS's website. And for now, I'll be watching something else.

Some days, it's hard to live in an area that has lots of storms in the spring and fall.