Thursday, May 31, 2007

Thinking and Talking

Ace and I have been discussing what my opinions are if we don't get me pregnant sometime in the (and then it trails off to ... with no time frame suggested). I am pushing for us to adopt. I'd currently prefer not to have to deal with medicine and testing just so that I have children that are made up of DNA that they share with both of us. Ace is okay with either option, but I currently feel that if it doesn't show up as a problem with anything but his sperm I will feel like there is something wrong with me even if no problem is found. So, I will wait until I feel like it's time to just move on to adoption if pregnancy doesn't happen. I have almost always had a plan to adopt at least one child, so I've already studied adoption out some (while in college, which is odd because who does that? Me, for a research paper).

And after Ace and I move into our new house, we will be getting a dog. That should help me some with the overly loud ticking clock that I hear (I'm only 26, I still have over a decade in which to get pregnant without it being considered high risk). Ace would, if I OKed it, get a dog tomorrow, I think. He wants to get a puppy more than I do, and I would really like to have one. And not just so I know I'll always have someone to talk to around the house, because that just seems sad.

Tomorrow, Ace goes to Kansas City for a seminar about real estate. I am staying home this time, partly because KC is not exactly a tourist destination. And I'm still adjusting to being back from Florida (I have laundry to fold and put away from that trip still). I'm going to spend the weekend watching comedy movies and reading Catch 22, which I started before our trip out of town (I'm sure the library would like it back soon). I may even get up enough energy and enthusiasm to clean the bathrooms in our current house, but I'm not going to hold my breath on that.

Well, I should probably get to my crossword puzzles, with a little reading on the side maybe, so I'll go to bed before it gets too late.


Keeping Up My Hope

My extended family, or at least several members of it, blog. This is a wonderful way to keep up with their lives. Unfortunately for me, many of my cousins who blog (all female, which isn't surprising since most of my cousins are female) are mothers or going to be mothers soon. And I'm genuinely happy for them. But there is a part of me that hurts to see it. My arms ache to have a child in them, and yet that seems to be far off. And it doesn't help that my pregnant cousin who blogs just posted that she's having a boy while I'm waiting impatiently for one of two things to happen: 1. I start my period or 2. I've waited long enough to be able to reliably take a pregnancy test.

I am "supposed" to start my period today, but my body occasionally likes to wait a few days (or a week) to start to freak me out. And while I'm waiting to get pregnant (without medical intervention), I have to try to keep up my hope by reminding myself that every month I'm not pregnant is a month closer to one I will be. And it's hard to keep that mind set up for very long. And, since I'm waiting, I really don't feel comfortable having any alcohol, which part of me really wants to have.

Oh, and with regards to my last post, I'm not trying to push my beliefs off on anyone else, I just felt the need to share my love of that particular hymn. It meant something to me.

Maybe next time I'll share the long list of advice I'm starting to gather for my children.


Wednesday, May 30, 2007

It Is Well with My Soul

Ace and I went to church tonight. I love our church. It is big, which is not part of what I love right now other than the fact that it is still growing, and has a wonderful system set up for the children, which will be more important when I have some. We heard a message about not letting Satan stop our prayers, and I'm pretty sure I've heard that message before (but I'll take the reminder). I've been singing hymns from a hymnal I have (independently bought). And the song that still hits me the most is the song It Is Well with My Soul. This was a song, if the story I remember hearing about it correctly, that was written by a man who lost his children (and almost lost his wife) to a storm at sea when they were crossing an ocean. He wrote the song right after being told by the captain of the ship he was sailing on (after they died) that they had reached the spot where his children were lost. I love this song. It is one of my favorites. There is so much hope in the song, which makes me wonder what went through his mind when he wrote it after being reminded of the tragedy that happened in his family.

My favorite part is when the song talks about all my sin being nailed to the cross so it isn't mine anymore. This reminds me, each time I sing it, why I have hope in my life. And the refrain fits my current state really well; it is well with my soul.

Well, I'm off to sing this song at least one more time before I do some crossword puzzles and head to bed.


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Wanting to Write

I have this odd desire lately to write. I, unfortunately don't know what to write. I think part of this comes from reading Sherlock Holmes, but I don't know what to write. This makes me feel a little frustrated. I want to do something with it, but I'm at a loss as to how to move forward with this. So, for now, this will be where I write, until I figure it all out.

Ace and I joked about me doing better earlier than I did the day before because it was after 8:30 and I was still up. That is, of course, a regular thing, but since I went to bed so early the night before it was something we felt comfortable joking about.

Well, I think it is just about time for me to got to bed, I've been up for almost 17 hours and am feeling a little tired.


We're Home Safe and Sound

We got home yesterday at around 4:30 p.m. It's nice to be home. I then proceeded to sleep 11 hours almost straight (within 30 minutes of 11 hours). I want to know the longest I have to stay up before I can reasonably take a nap, because I am still tired and feel rather icky. My internet connection went away starting about noon on Saturday.

Ace wonders, and I do too, what it is about travel (especially towards home) that takes my energy away. I don't think it's the amount of time spent, but that could have something to do with it. Part of me thinks its all the time I miss sleeping while away from home. I wake up throughout the night (not for very long) while away. This doesn't seem to bother me as much when I'm sleeping in my own bed. The early hours of housekeeping at the hotel we stayed in didn't help either. Why would an east coast hotel set their housekeeping to start at 8:30 when most of their guests are used to sleeping at that time?

I'm ready for a nap.


Friday, May 25, 2007

Blah, Blah, Blah

So, while my internet connection is great, my vacation isn't going as well as I would like. Ace is spending most of his time at his conference, which is what I expected. I went to the pool today, but left after 30 minutes because I apparently can't stand more than 5 minutes of stupid chatter from a bride-to-be. She was talking, with her friends, about where they were going later to party. I wondered why they felt the need to talk about it by the pool instead of inside the hotel. I decided to leave and shower, since I actually swam, and see about getting the maids to clean the room. Ace mentioned that I could have swam laps, or just moved, but I was not in the mood to move. I liked the spot I was laying out in the sun in. I definitely am not more tan than I was before.

Ace got slightly frustrated with me because the one night he actually kind of has off, I decide to take an interest in our files (which will be going back to Tulsa with us). Of course, he didn't mention that he would like me to put down the files (I was looking for something to do, because he was busy online on my computer), and I am not a mind reader. I think he was disappointed that I was interested in what he was learning when he was interested in sex. Which is slightly frustrating to me, because I finally show some real interest in some part of real estate that he is also interested in and he is upset with me because of it. The messages he wants to send are crossed, because he wants me to be interested in the real estate.

On the plus side for me, tonight I got to enjoy some ravioli and cheesecake, and we found a place that will be able to deliver our lunch tomorrow (which will probably also be our dinner).

I am hoping to have a much better day tomorrow.


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Being a Personal Assistant

While Ace and I are at his conference, I am his personal assistant, which mainly entails me unpacking our clothes, ironing his shirts, and ordering us food from a local pizza place before his lunch break starts. And it meant calling down about our new room at 8:00 a.m. (9:00 here in Florida). They were supposed to call me back, but apparently found better things to do. But we were able to move into a room right across the hall from the original room. It's much nicer room, at least to me, but I think that is mostly the single king sized bed that is appealing to me. We can now see the swimming pool, which has helped me figure out where to go tomorrow when I want to spend some time by it.

Well, my typing seems to be keeping Ace up, so I should get off now. Enjoy your days everyone, and hopefully your vacations will go better than mine has so far.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Greetings from Florida

We made it safely to Florida. It was a long day. We ate breakfast around 9:30 a.m. We got to our airport around 10:00 and made it through the security by 10:30. We got to board the plane around 11:10 and got to Memphis on time. We rushed to the gate for our connecting flight and made it with time to go to the bathroom between planes. We got to Florida by 3:55 (4:55 local time), which was only 15 minutes after it was supposed to get here. We actually had nothing to eat while on the way here, so we were rather hungry by the time we got dinner.

The hotel did not have any more king sized beds available today, so for tonight we are stuck in a room with 2 double beds (who puts double beds in a hotel room?). Tomorrow morning, while Ace is in his conference, I get to call down to the front desk to request a room change to a room with a king sized bed. So, we didn't get to unpack yet. I've got to do that tomorrow morning after moving our stuff. Yay!

Well, I'm going to go. I think I've said about all I can about this trip so far.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Running Around and Packing

Today has been a long day. Ace and I have been doing chores around the house and running errands to be ready to go tomorrow morning. We still have a load of laundry, all our actual packing, and some dishes left to do. But, we are going to tackle packing after dinner.

I'm tired and want to go to sleep, but I still have a bed to make and things to pack first. I'm just glad we have some friends who are willing to drop us off at the airport and pick us up when we get back. And I'm glad that we don't go on trips more often.

Okay, my dinner is ready, so I must go and eat.


Monday, May 21, 2007

Gearing Up for a Trip

Ace and I are going out of town soon. Like Wednesday soon. I'm looking forward to getting out of town for a few days, and have been looking forward to this trip since I heard about it. I get to spend 4 days relaxing in Florida, mostly around a pool. I'm hoping for it to be sunny while we are there, since it's been cloudy here in Oklahoma.

We aren't going to start packing for this trip until tomorrow, which means we spent today mostly killing time. That left us with several hours of quiet, which is nice.

In case you are wondering why I chose to have a blog where I remain anonymous, it is because the blog I used to write was read by my family which limited what I felt comfortable talking about. I'm using the anonymity I have here to be able to write about whatever I want. It is freeing. I haven't decided how much I will update my old blog, but I will keep my family informed about some of the things in my life.

I'm going to go, because I keep paying more attention to the television than I do what I'm writing.


Hello All!

This is my new blog in which I am going to share my life anonymously. I have created a pseudonym for myself here. In other words, M.A. Smith is not my real name.

My husband, who wants to be called Ace, and I are trying to get pregnant. We've been trying for roughly a year and have made little headway. We aren't trying all that hard, just trying to time when it would be likely to when we have sex. That way, we still enjoy sex. We are still young enough to have several years for having children so there is no need to rush, but we are ready to start being parents.

Ace does real estate, which is great for him but bores me. I can follow along with what he has to say, but don't particularly care for it. I do know enough that if I had to take care of myself, I could do it with real estate (and his life insurance policy). He's happy to know that I love him WAY too much to ever try to kill him though.

My life currently revolves around taking care of the house, watching People's Court, and surfing the web (mostly reading blogs and fanfiction). When I'm not doing that, I'm probably watching a movie or playing Cashflow with Ace and his real estate group.

I'm going to go now. It's almost my bedtime.