Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hurry Up and Wait

Once again, we are waiting for our load to be ready (it's loaded, but there is a potential quality control issue). On the plus side, we know where we are stopping at night. Unfortunately, we aren't getting the one thing that is still not right on our truck fixed until who knows when. Which sucks, because until then we are having to idle more to control the temperature in the truck.


In the mean time, Ace and I have bought a lot of movies lately. We bought 13 in the past 48 hours. And now, Ace is watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the first time. Ever. And I haven't seen any past the second or third (I've read the first 4 books, but stopped there. The last decade was weird for me.).

It's exciting. At least for me.

And now, back to the movie for me.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Another List

It snowed in Kansas last night. Want to know how I know that for sure? We drove through it. We had turned the a/c on yesterday because we (I) got hot. I miss the warmer weather already, even though I know it will be back.

Anyway, more things I've learned on the road.

1. Sometimes things just keep happening one after another and you can't deliver on time. It sucks, but it's smarter to deliver safely than on time.

2. It's hard to stay awake when you are driving overnight because it's dark and there is nothing to see. And sometimes it's hard to go to sleep, or back to sleep, during the day because it's so light out.

3. Someone needs to come up with heated windshield wipers for trucks. Because ice accumulates there and it makes the wipers stop working as effectively. And the heater blowing on the windshield doesn't warm up the wipers enough to stop that happening.

4. Weather is fickle everywhere, not just Oklahoma. (I kind of figured this, but it's been more obvious on the road.)

5. Apparently, you can still get pulled for jury duty even when you are on the road. Hopefully I can get that issue cleared up quickly and easily (I no longer live in that county or state, and I didn't get notification until after it had passed, or I would have told them before hand. It sucks only getting your mail every few months sometimes.).

6. Some people seem to think, probably because they have never been on a truck, that a truck just stops being an issue when you climb out of it. Just because I can afford to eat wherever does not mean I can park wherever. The truck doesn't disappear just because you've gone inside.

7. Some people will ignore things just because it's inconvenient for them. This just leads to annoying phone calls. (No, we won't take some load to New York City just because you call it The Market. There is a reason it says "No New York" on Ace's file.)

8. New York City is definitely not built for a semi-truck with a 53' trailer. Also, they use a different measuring system than the rest of the country for measuring bridge heights. (A 13' 6" trailer will fit under bridges labeled 12' 2", if there is no snow packed on the ground in New York.)

9. Chicago needs to label a few more bridges. But they do a good job of labeling the ones that are 13' 10" and under.

10. Dallas' skyline looks cooler at night.

11. It's always better when the person fixing the truck has talked to the driver of the truck to know for sure what is wrong with it. Otherwise, it might not get fixed the first time.

12. It sucks when the a/c has an intermittent issue. It's worse when the APU (alternate power unit) goes out.

13. Some weeks, nothing seems to go quite right. Other weeks, everything goes your way.

14. It sucks being stuck at a hotel. Even if the company is paying you for sitting there. Even if they are paying for the hotel room. Especially when the hotel restaurant is closed on Sundays.

15. A semi-truck and trailer can block an interstate when it's tipped over. Hopefully it's not too loaded down, so it can be pulled out of the way and you can get moving again. (We passed by a tipped over truck early yesterday. After waiting about 30 minutes or so for it to be moved out of the way for traffic to pass.)

16. My husband is one of the sweetest guys I know. (He told the car that was sitting next to us that they were going to have to get into the right lane to pass when it was finally clear yesterday, and that he was going to let them get in front of us.)

17. Truckers apologize for cursing in front of me. I'm not quite sure why that is, other than I guess I look innocent. It amuses me each time it happens. (It amuses Ace more.)

18. If you are on time or early for an appointment with Walmart, they get you in and out in two hours. Because they don't want to have to pay detention pay. (Which I totally get.)

19. The worst smelling place I've been? Tyson.

20. The coolest (not temperature wise) place I've been? Hershey, PA. We drove down Chocolate Avenue. I only wished I could get pictures of stuff, but it was the wrong time of day to try to take pictures.

21. The best free stuff we've gotten? Chocolate chip cookies from a Nabisco distribution center and chocolate bars from a Hershey distribution center.

22. San Diego, CA is right on the border with Mexico. Literally, we were within a mile of the border.

23. The only thing more nerve wracking that trying to make sure we didn't accidentally go to Mexico? Trying to make sure we didn't accidentally go back to New York City.

24. The phone numbers that we get with our load assignments? Not useful for anything to do with us.

25. My husband doesn't want me visiting WebMD any more than I do.

Monday, April 22, 2013

I Am Wordy Today

So, after ignoring the blog for most of the year so far, I am apparently wordy today. Go me?

I read a great post earlier called When Is It Time to Walk Away and it has me feeling inspired. Because it's nice to know that someone can understand, without details, that they may not have all the information about why I've made a decision, but it can still be the right one for me.

I am so over everyone telling me that I need a relationship with my mother. I love the people who don't try to tell me that they know better than I do about what I need in my life. No one but me (and possibly Ace) knows what all happened to cause the relationship to be so unhealthy that I needed out. No one but me should decide if I was being harsh or burning a bridge or just that I need to change that decision. And the people who truly care about my happiness either know enough to know that I am happier without her in my life (and why) or to know that they don't need to know the details unless and until I share them.

I read the post out loud to Ace. Then I talked about the fact that I expect to tell our future children something about why they (and I) don't have a relationship with my mother. They'll figure out that my step-mom is not my mom at some point, based on the fact that I call her by name, if nothing else. They'll have questions, and the younger they are, the simpler the answers will be.

I doubt that I'll ever tell them everything. They don't need to know all the details, and I don't remember all of them anyway. I remember enough to know why I stopped the relationship. I remember enough to not let nostalgia for the good times convince me that the relationship would be healthy if I tried to start it back up. I remember enough of the good times that the thought of her doesn't hurt so bad. I remember enough to not want to see her, because just being in the same place is awkward and frustrating.

There are things in this life that I will fight tooth and nail for. My relationship with Ace is one of them. That is a relationship that is worth the work, and usually it doesn't feel like we are working at the relationship. My relationship with my sister is another. I'd love to be closer to her, but we've almost always had a distance separating us (the age difference, if nothing else). But I'd work and try and push to keep a relationship with her. She is worth it. And she wouldn't make me do all the work.

I don't really have a point. I can't say things better than that post did. Sometimes, it's time to protect yourself.

I stopped a toxic relationship with my mother. I survived the emotional abuse that she heaped on me (and it was emotional abuse, which can damage a person nearly as badly as physical abuse can sometimes). I know that just because there were good times, that doesn't negate the bad times. I don't life my life based on the things she said. I don't blame that past on my current situation. I understand that emotional abuse is still abuse, and that I deserve better. I know that some people will never understand, and I don't let them make my decisions for me.

If you have never walked in my shoes, lived my life, you can't know what has caused me to make my decisions. Maybe I am not as strong as some people. But there are people who would be amazed at what I have survived. We all have something we are struggling with. Sometimes, it's time to stop struggling and let it go.

If you ever need to tell someone something without them judging you for making a decision, I hope that I can help. I care and I'd be happy to listen/read. I understand loving someone who hurts you. And I understand letting someone go because the hurt is too much. I know that I can never fully understand your life, just as you can never fully understand mine. But I'm here. And I care.

I'm Not Sure Why I'm Sharing This

Sorry I disappeared again. If I had posted the last week and a half, it would probably been about the problems with the truck, which were myriad at the time and would have really been me whining again. Right now, the only thing to whine about that has to do with the truck is the smell.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is my period. Because it's weird this month, and I don't have a doctor to talk to. So, I'm talking to the internet. I probably need help, and to stop over sharing with strangers (I didn't post about it on Facebook, because I'm classy like that).

So, while Ace and I were at the hotel in Dallas (because the truck was being worked on), I started spotting. Since I had left all my supplies on the truck (which annoyed Ace and I both), we had to go buy some. No big deal, there was a grocery store withing walking distance.

Got everything I needed and we went back to the hotel. And then, my period never quite started. Instead, it's been spotty. I feel fine, nothing hurts. But this isn't like normal (and I'll not talk about color, but that's worried me more than the spotting). And I'm trying not to go onto WebMD and freak myself out about what it could be. Because then I'll convince myself it's something serious and deadly and ahh send help! That way lies madness.

So, yeah. My body is being all mysterious and weird. And I'm trying not to freak out about it.

And why does the truck smell like rotting ham?

Maybe I should check WebMD. Just to be safe.

Nope. Not going to do it.

P.S.: I hate Ace having to drive all night after being at the yard for roughly a week. It screws up my sleep schedule for days. And makes me grouchy to boot. Send caffeine and chocolate.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Will Get Better About Posting Soon, I Promise

I'm still alive. I even have a good internet connection now. I'm just suddenly finding myself fighting off depression sometimes and not inspired others and exhausted the rest. It's been a busy time lately.

So, anyway. I'm alive and on the truck. We're still traveling around the USA. So far, I've been to more than half the states.

And we've had a few issues come up, but nothing that can't be fixed.

I don't really have much to say tonight, but hopefully I'll be back on with another list of things I've learned since getting on the truck.