Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Employment Achieved (for Ace)

Ace now has employment. It's currently part time (I think). But it's enough for us to make it where we are (with lots of sandwiches and Ramen noodles to eat).

And while the job is through a temp agency, the company hires 90% of the temps from there and THEY CANCELED THE REST OF THEIR APPOINTMENTS AFTER INTERVIEW ACE. He was so impressive to them and perfect for the job that they weren't interested in anyone else, apparently. And he starts tomorrow!

Now if I can hear back from someone I sent a resume to, we'll be doing really well (my paychecks can go towards food and entertainment).

We're excited, but not jumping because who knows if there is anyone underneath us (we don't want to be bad neighbors). It's a good day.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

My Brain Seems to Be Fried, New Brain Should Be Ordered Soon

I seem to be running on empty where my brain is concerned today. I seriously thought a little while ago that I am 27 (where did those other 2 years go?).

And just now, Ace asked me something and I totally had no clue what the answer is (although, it could just be that I don't remember)

But I'm still feeling a bit fried.

Mostly Caffeine Free Since 2003

2003 was a big year for me. I got married. I stopped drinking caffeine cold turkey (except for every once in a great while). I started a new life for myself, in a new city, away from all my relatives.

I started thinking about my kicking caffeine because Danny Evans of Dad Gone Mad has decided to kick caffeine. And he's suffering from caffeine headaches.

My first attempt at kicking caffeine was doomed from the start. I was still planning the wedding (with all that stress), taking summer college classes, and I was not getting along with my dad (which added more stress). The headaches I got from trying to quit cold turkey added to all that stress was just too much for me. So, I decided to try quitting after the wedding, when my stress level would drop to a more reasonable level (just school stress and adjusting to being married stress).

The second time I started with kicking caffeine out of my life, it went much smoother. I didn't get headaches (I don't think I drank much less caffeine then) and I didn't miss the soda at all (I never have been a coffee drinker). It was obviously the right timing and my body was more than happy to get rid of any potential addictions to caffeine it had.

Since I quit caffeine, I've rarely put any into my system. Only when I've not had nearly enough sleep, but need to be up. And then, only as little as possible, or I start feeling jittery and find it hard to sleep that night.

So, I've been mostly caffeine free since 2003. And I like it.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

My Problem with Patience

Once, a long while ago, my mother told me never to pray for patience because if you do, God will bring tests into your life to give you patience the hard way. I disagree with that thought, but it's something that has stubbornly clung in my head.

Instead, I'm finding my problem with patience is not trials that have come, but instead that I'm finding myself with too much time on my hands waiting and having problems finding things to fill it with (there is only so much TV I will watch, and I'm currently feeling fairly easily distracted).

On the other hand, the fact that I'm not pregnant (because I've been waiting a good long while for this) and that I'm not working (because we could use some regular income) aren't stressing me out like they could be. They are things that can and will happen, in time. And I've got lots of that right now.

I am hoping that setting some short term goals, and working on them, will help me with this. I'm going to start working on research for the book I want to write. Even though it's fiction, I'd like it to have a good basis in reality. It'll be something (besides World of Warcraft) to keep me busy. And it'll fulfill one of my goals. I might even be able to convince Ace that the library will likely have resources to help me research (that shouldn't be too hard).

And that is the result of my problem with patience. I start working on a novel. Not a bad result. Of course, patience is a virtue, so maybe this is why I've always wanted to increase my patience (it's this or so that I'll be a better mother... or both).

And now I'll go be random elsewhere. Toodles!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Dreams I'd Rather Forget

Lately, I've been having dreams (lately being the past two nights). And they've been somewhat vivid and memorable. Except I'd like to forget them, somewhat.

I think I've hit a wall emotionally and it's coming out in my dreams. I'm yelling at my mother in my dreams again. I'm rejecting her attempts at comfort (or something). I'm trying to keep from just bawling in my dreams, for reasons I don't understand. I'm looking to Ace to save me from my emotions in my dreams, and he doesn't seem to understand me there.

This past year has taken a large toll on me. I'm even more cut off from my extended family than I was before (and I refuse to join Facebook just to reconnect with them, because I shouldn't have to). I'm feeling a bit more adrift than I ever have felt before. And my emotions are a little haywire right now.

And all of that is coming out in my dreams. And I'd like to forget it. But I don't know how.

Monday, January 18, 2010


I have nothing particularly important to say, so I'm going to talk about the 4 pairs of shoes I have (I'll not say anything about the 2 pair of flip-flops, because I'm just like that).

So, I have 4 pairs of shoes. One pair of sneakers, one pair of black pumps, one pair of strappy white sandals (with heels), and one pair of black sneaker-like shoes (only nicer looking and with better soles).

The sneakers are my shoes of choice. I like my feet to be comfy, and those are the best for if we're going somewhere and walking. Second best is the black shoes, specially kept for ice and snow because of the better traction given by the soles than the sneakers.

I dislike the strappy sandals the most, despite the fact that they were the shoes I wore in my wedding. They have no padding, and my feet hate them, but they are the only dress shoes I have that aren't black (and one of only 2 pair of dress shoes I have, period), so I keep them anyway. I'm not in love with the black pumps, as my feet hate heels, but at least they have some padding.

And now, you know about my shoes. Which is funny, as I prefer to be barefoot most of the time (however, safety dictates shoes in public).

And now, I'm off to do laundry.

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Hilarity of Spam Part 6

It's a double post of spam fun today. This one had pictures but they didn't show up when I copy and pasted, so you'll just have to pretend they do.

>Anti-Terrorist and International Fraud Division.
>Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
>935 Pennsylvania Ave, NW
>Washington, DC 20535

Seriously, does the FBI have an anti-terrorist and international fraud division? I really want to know.


Darn, I've been down-graded from citizen (where I'm not one) to beneficiary. I dislike it when that happens.

>This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we >have thoroughly completed an Investigation with the help of our >Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you legally won the sum of >$800,000.00 USD. from a Lottery Company outside the United States of >America. During our investigation we discovered that your e-mail won the >money from an Online Balloting System and we have authorized this winning >to be paid to you via a Certified Cashier's Check.

Random capitalization. Ah, it's good to see you again. When did my e-mail get put into a lottery outside the US? Or inside the US for that matter? And I'm glad I "won" this money legally. I'd hate to win money illegally.

>It will take up to 10 business days for an International Check to be >cashed by your local banks. We have successfully provide FBI Guarantee >Letter in your package which will enable you cash your check instantly at >any bank in United Sate

Who says I have a problem waiting 10 days for $800,000? I looked at the original spam, and it cut off the sentence like that. Odd that. What is the United Sate?

>We have completed this investigation and you are hereby approved to >receive the winning prize as we have verified the entire transaction to be >Safe and 100% risk free, You will be required to settle the following >bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is >located in Lagos, Nigeria. According to our discoveries, you were required >to pay for the following -

Mentioning Nigeria - if there were a drinking game associated with spam, you'd have to drink because of that. And why is it that Nigeria always seems to have large sums of US dollars to give away? Isn't Nigeria a rather poor country? Have they been lying to us in real life and telling the truth in the e-mails? Let's see what I have to pay for, to get unsolicited money.

>(1) Cashier's Check Conversion Fee ( Fee for converting the Wire Transfer >payment into a Certified Cashier's Check )

That feels wrong on all kinds of levels. But, I don't know enough about wire transfers to adequately say what is probably wrong with that statement.

>The total amount for everything is $200.00 (Two Hundred-US Dollars). We >have tried our possible best to indicate that this $200.00 should be >deducted from your winning prize but we found out that the funds have >already been converted to Cashier Check and cannot be accessed by anyone >apart from you, the winner; therefore you will be required to pay the >required fee's to the Agent in-charge of this transaction via Western >Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram.

And they couldn't have sent me the money via Western Union? Who says I have $200 to give them for this? Bah!

>In order to proceed with this transaction, you will be required to contact >the agent in-charge ( SAMUEL OLIVER ) via e-mail. Kindly look below to >find appropriate contact information:

What if I'm not feeling kind? Should I look below anyway?



Um... make of that what you will. Not the most professional e-mail address.

>You will be required to e-mail him with the following information:


If I give him all of that, he can get a hold of me. If he was really going to give me money, I could almost see it, but he's not. I know he's not, you know he's not. So, no I won't give him this info.

>You will also be required to request Western Union details on how to send >the required $200.00 in order to immediately ship your prize of >$800,000.00 USD via Certified Cashier's Check , also include the following >transaction code in order for him to immediately identify this transaction >: NA5533-974.

If I send him all that contact info, and he knows I've "won" this "lottery", shouldn't he know that I need the info on where to send the money he's requiring of me? Also, the spammers are sending out so many spam e-mails that they have a numbering system in place.

>This letter will serve as proof that the Federal Bureau Of Investigation >is authorizing you to pay the required $200.00 ONLY to Mr. Samuel Oliver >via information in which he shall send to you, if you do not receive your >winning prize of $800,000.00 we shall be held responsible for the loss and >this shall invite a penalty of $3,000 which will be made PAYABLE ONLY to >you (The Winner).

This e-mail is proof of nothing, other than spammers are still out there. And is that saying that if he doesn't (more like when he doesn't) pay out, my consolation prize (that I'll also never get) is $3,000? Why would I do that?

>Please find below an authorized signature which has been signed by the FBI >Director- Robert Mueller, also below is the FBI NSB (National Security

They cut off that sentence too. Supposedly, it's the National Security Branch (which I've never heard of) at least, that's what the pictured logo says.

>FBI Director
>Robert Mueller.

Say hi to Robert Mueller 111 for me... in your will or something.

>NSB Seal

(National Security Branch seal, if there is such a thing)

>Authorized Signature

Here was a picture of Robert Mueller's signature. Could have gotten it from almost anywhere.


This was actually right below the seal, but it is meaningless here. Just ignore it.

>NOTE: In order to ensure your check gets delivered to you ASAP, you are >advised to immediately contact Mr. Samuel Oliver via contact information >provided above and make the required payment of $200.00 to information in >which he shall provide to you.

Bad English rears it's head again. Spammers need to learn grammar rules. Also, I'm not going to do it. Not unless FBI agents show up, in person, to promise me this will really go through. Since they won't, I'm not doing it.

The Hilarity of Spam Part 5

This one is special. It's not from the FBI. It's from Interpol (supposedly).

>Dear Citizen,

I'm not a citizen of anywhere that Interpol is over. I'm in the USA. I've never even been out of the Western Hemisphere.

>We are hereby bring to your notice, from the United Kingdom,London, >Interpol Service,and New Scotland Yard (MP) of a certain funds that has >been released from the BANK OF ENGLAND,we have in custody of this funds, >we have conducted several investigation we think the funds needs the >appropriate clearances.

I'm fairly sure the grammar rules of subject-verb agreement are still applicable in English English (instead of American English, which is different, but mostly in spelling). Also, what does any of this have to do with me?

>We have decided to keep you informed at this point in time of the funds
>transfer, we have decided to make this transfer confidential and strictly >on the bases of law. Now as a law abiding citizen we have decided to make >this funds deposit in a bank here in the United Kingdom, but before these >funds could be released to you, the Funds has to be cleared of anti >terrorist before the release to you, once we receive the
>needed funds we will send you the anti terrorist certificate which you >have paid for, and our agent will bring the funds deposit slip to your >door step.

Again, what does this have to do with me? And why would you send someone from Interpol (or Scotland Yard) to the US to give me money? And how do they know that I'm a law abiding citizen? (I am, but how do they know that?) Is the FBI giving them info on me? Is this how Robert Mueller 111 is contacting me again (I hope he's doing okay, whenever he is)?

>The Anti Terrorist and Money Laundering Clearance is going to cost you >$1020 dollars, and you will have to send the required fund to facilitate >the funds released and clearance. This funds should be sent not other than >to-morrow latest to ease time and must be sent via the fastest means of >picking up funds here in the united kingdom, which is Western Union Money >Transfer, you are to let us know when you will be sending these funds so >we can give you the details information you will need to send the funds.

Isn't it anti-terrorist? it doesn't quite look right with the space (anyone from UK willing to let me know, I'd appreciate it). Why is this going to cost me dollars? Why not pounds? Or euros? That's kind of fishy. They forgot to capitalize United Kingdom, now I really don't believe them (it's the random capitalization and non-capitalization that really points out that they are scammers). Also, it's been a while since they sent this. Guess I won't be getting that money (the amount has yet to be specified).

>Get back to us as soon as possible on this matter, or if you don't feel
>the legitimacy of this matter, you can get back and we will give you our >ID'S for proof of our identity.

Because they swear it's their identity and not some poor idiot who fell for their scam already. Promise.

>Best Regards
>Sinclair Stevenson
>Interpol London {United Kingdom}

I'm doubting the veracity of that e-mail address. Also, I'm using big words.

>CC: Interpol Secret Service
>CC: International Court of Law
>CC: International Monetary Funds Department
>CC: United Kingdom Department of treasury
>CC. Department of Scotland Yard Security
>CC. Interpol Investigation Unit United Kingdom.

None of these groups (who didn't get this e-mail, I'm sure) scare me. Also, why would this e-mail supposedly be sent to any of these groups? What purpose would that serve?

Monday, January 11, 2010

Christmas Came 2 Weeks Late

Or We Traveled for 3 Days in a Row and Now My Nose Is Stuffy

Thursday, Ace and I decided that we should have a weekend of travel. And that we should start by going to his parents' house, because it would be smarter to get the less fun parents dealt with first.

So, Friday, we loaded up our car with laundry, us, and sandwiches and headed to Tulsa. It was COLD. My feet didn't feel warm for most of the rest of the day (until after I got in their hot tub and relaxed for a while). They pointed out that we hadn't seen them in over a year, and I was surprised that it had been that long. Then, they gave us a large check (bigger than their normal Christmas gift of money) and didn't ask too many prying questions and it was a decent trip. They even attempted to give us food before we left (unfortunately, half the food we took had expired, so it was somewhat of a waste).

Then, Saturday, we went to see my dad and step-mom and brother. The day wasn't nearly as cold, and we had hot chocolate. After we got there, we got to open up Christmas gifts and the fact that I gave them a list got me quite a decent haul (I gave them mine in late October, because I knew then what I wanted). I got 4 books from the Discworld novels (4 of 23), a new hooded sweatshirt (in gray, so light enough to see at night while being dark enough to disguise any potential stains), and 3 CDs (2 of which I asked for, 1 they knew I'd like). All the CDs have 2 disks each (one is a DVD disk), so it's like I got twice the gifts with those. Ace got an emergency kit for the car and some cash (which is always a nice gift, but was given since he didn't give any kind of list because he didn't ever remember to send one). Nicely, he likes the CDs I asked for, so they are kind of like presents for both of us.

Then, Sunday, we came back to Springfield. And our car's heater actually got us warm enough to want to take our coats off (which hadn't happened before that). Since then, my nose decided that it was going to be somewhat stuffy and runny at the same time, just to annoy me. Also, I think the room is rather dry or something, as I have sneezed more this past week than I have in a long while (I was sneezing before we left, but that stopped while we were gone).

But, we finally got to feel like it was Christmas and I got to make my dad (and Ace) happy with a big smile on my face Saturday after opening gifts. I think I'm okay with a slightly runny/stuffy/sneezing nose now. Because I'm still happy about our trip.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

A Fresh Canvas

I'm doing much better now. Ace helped me get better, as always. He also reminded me to let go of stress and that we are doing what we feel we should be right now.

Now that I've pointed that out, I'll start with the actual post portion of this post.

It snowed last night. I know, because the ground is covered in white today and it wasn't yesterday. I love the snow, as it makes me feel like the world is fresh and new. The snow hides any flaws. I love looking at the snow the best before anyone has walked on it and ruined the seeming perfection.

In a way, the snow falling is like a new year starting (or even a new day starting). It's a fresh canvas. While the old is still there, it's covered with a new chance. I'm pretty sure that this fresh chance, this fresh canvas, has helped some with bringing my spirits up higher today.

And while, occasionally, in the past, I've struggled with newness (feeling stifled with no limits, because sometimes creativity is like that), today the pure white is a relief. I made it through an emotionally exhausting year. I've made more decisions than I expected to in a short time and feel less pain based on those decisions than I expected. Things changed so much, and this is yet another reminder that Ace and I are starting fresh here.

Today's fresh canvas, this new year, there is much hope. Because we've left behind pain and sorrow in another city. And while it briefly tried to follow me, I pushed it away for the hope that has been around since my birthday, surprising since it seemed so near all the heartache.

Today, the snow covers the ground and reminds me of a fresh canvas. And to me, it is beautiful.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ultimately, I'm Fine

Or: One of Those Days

Today is a day where I'm struggling slightly. I'm feeling funky, and time isn't quite passing by at the rate I want it to. There isn't anything wrong, I'm just not quite feeling right.

It's one of those days. The ones where I haven't had enough sleep and I'm tired, but I don't want to sleep (for unknown reasons) and I'm fighting off depression because there is nothing to be upset about. It's a day where getting something to drink or making a sandwich feels like a big deal even though I know it really isn't. When I know that my feelings are silly and irrational and stupid and there is no explanation for it.

It's one of those days where I wonder why I got up. It's one of those days where instead of living just minute by minute or hour by hour, sometimes I'm just living second by second. Everything feels all dramatic and crazy and important, and the reality of the situation is just that I'm being all dramatic and crazy.

And I know that I'm fine, when it all comes down to brass tacks (Where did that statement originate? And why don't I really care right now?). I'm healthy (overall), I've got all my basic needs met (food, clothing, and shelter), and I've got a supportive husband who tries his hardest to pull me out of these funky moods (and succeeds).

If you're wondering, I refuse to post another post about this past year. No best of/worst of/let me focus on the past, again, posts here. I think about myself way too much already. I don't need to get even more introspective at the changing of the year. January 1st is, after all, just another day.

Besides, I already feel like I've limped through most of the last year (emotionally speaking). I think it's best to leave it as it was and try to focus on the future. And maybe in doing that, I'll pull myself out of this funk and all my mental drama (about sandwiches, which makes me feel silly), and remember the hope that resides in the possibilities of the future.

But for now, for today, I'll just work on making it stop being one of those days, and work towards making it a better day.