Monday, June 29, 2009

Bad Day

Today, I'm having a bad day. And I don't mean that bad things are happening, because on the whole it's been a lovely day in that regard.

No, I'm having a bad day emotionally. I'm feeling short tempered with the dog. I'm feeling other people's pain a little too sharply. I'm just feeling emotionally blue for no good reason (although, I suspect hormones are a part of this).

I feel the desire to strangle the dog (something I know I could never accomplish and really don't want to do at all) just because he wants me to let him outside. So, his crime today has been the fact that he's a dog and can't open and close doors on his own. That and the sound of his tags seem a little too loud today.

I know that tomorrow I could be having just the opposite type of day where everything seems to be going wrong, but I feel like I'm floating through it all.

But for now, I'm trying to concentrate on one thing at a time. And for now, it should probably be folding and putting away laundry (while watching some TV). At least then I'll be doing something constructive with my time.

And hopefully, that will help stop my bad day in it's tracks.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Other Than That How Was the Play, Mrs. Lincoln?

Sometimes, people asking innocent questions just hurts. The biggest question that hurts is "Do you have kids?"

I know why it's asked. It's a getting to know you question. It's a let's see how much we have in common question.

And if you're trying to expand your family from 2 to 3 (or for a variety of other reasons, including miscarriages and infertility), it feels like more of a let's remind you of something that's already on your mind and is sensitive question. And it's a question that you wish you could just push away or do away with altogether.

The simple answer to your question, at least in this house, is not yet, we're trying. The complex answer is that I'm trying to remember what I know God has promised me, I'm trying to ignore that stupid whisper in my ear that says that maybe I'll never have kids naturally, and I'm trying to remember that if all else fails, I'm happy to adopt, wanting to adopt someday in fact. Also, I don't feel like it's any of your business unless you are selling me insurance or doing my taxes.

And that is how a simple getting to know you question can be one of the most painful questions to answer.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

24 Hours (Give or Take)

In 24 hours (okay, 25 hours), Ace and I will have been married for 6 years to the minute (give or take about 10 minutes).

It doesn't feel like it's been that long. It feels like it was just two or three years ago most of the time. The time has just gone by so fast.

Then, there are days that it feels like I've known Ace forever. He knows me better than I know myself, most of the time. He can look and tell if I'm up or down most of the time.

Plus, he got me a nice anniversary card that mentions that I'm his best friend. Because we are. We both think of the other as our best friend. There aren't secrets kept (at least not for long) between us. We both want the other one to be happy. We talk about anything and everything.

So, I'm happy that in 24 hours (give or take) we'll be celebrating our anniversary. Because I wouldn't trade Ace for anything.


Monday, June 22, 2009

The Countdown

This week, Ace and I celebrate our 6th anniversary. To help celebrate the fact that we will have been married for 6 years, Ace took Friday and Saturday off work. Right now, I'm feeling the urge to countdown the hour that's left until he gets off work (okay, it's 58 minutes) because after that we will have 5 days together!

We do have a few things to do this week that aren't related to our anniversary (at least, not fully). Tonight, we're going grocery shopping (we're going after dark, so it won't be quite as hot as it is now). Wednesday, I've got a chiropractor's appointment (hopefully after that, my back will like me again). Other than that, we don't have any set plans (other than me taking a bath tomorrow morning). We'll probably look for something special to have for our anniversary while we do our grocery shopping tonight, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Which reminds me (55 minutes now!), I need to add cards to our shopping list.

So, if you were a couple who were still completely in love after 6 years, what would you do to celebrate?

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Today, my heart has been soft to the pain of others.

Today, I've felt the need to mourn for things that have been long lost.

Today, I shared something I haven't shared in a long time.

Today, my heart has been moved and I don't feel like I'm quite the same person that I was when I started the day.

I'm wondering what will happen tomorrow.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Changing Gears

Now that I've re-read all of the Chronicles of Narnia (okay, so I read the first two shortly before each movie came out and didn't re-read them right around now, but that doesn't mean that I don't remember what happened), I've started over on reading The Lord of the Rings. And I've changed tactics from reading the Chronicles of Narnia. Instead of reading a book a day (because those are some long books), I'm reading a chapter a day on the days Ace works. At least, that's the theory of how it will go.

More likely, I'll stick to that for a while, but will change my tune on Ace's days off as I start getting to some action.

In completely different news, I started washing our dishes by hand yesterday (apparently dishwashers require hot water to actually work, who knew?). Today, I worked on my laundry, but tomorrow I'll be back to hand-washing dishes again. The only real problem with that is that our kitchen sink doesn't drain properly, so I can't be absolutely sure that I'm getting every bit of soap off the dishes. So, for now, we're going to be rinsing dishes off before using them (just in case).

Of course, my morning yesterday started with cleaning off the counter next to the sink in order to put dishes down to dry, which was as big an undertaking as actually washing the dishes was. There were dirty dishes, dishes that had been hand-washed a while ago, a blender, the top portion of the ice cream maker (that hasn't been used in a while), a plug for a blue tooth product (we'd been looking for that, didn't think to look in the kitchen), the heating unit of our crock-pot, and a pile of sugar mixed with Borax to kill ants piled up over there. Plus a few clothes that were down for drying dishes that needed to be moved to the dirty clothes.

But, after moving all that and using some Lysol wipes, my counter was clean once again. On the plus side, I got roughly a third of the dirty dishes clean in less than an hour, so by Tuesday I should be all caught up on dishes again (and it will be easier to keep everything caught up after that).


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Here But Not

Today has felt like a long day. Not that I've done anything particularly important or time consuming.

I think it's the fact that my living room is currently making me feel tired for reasons unknown.

So, for now, I'm here in this moment. But at the same time, I feel like I'm a million miles away.

I don't know what word really describes that feeling, but that's what I'm feeling. Here but not.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Today, I re-read The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (from the Chronicles of Narnia series). It's been a long time since I've read it. I enjoyed re-reading it greatly.

And it was interesting to see the way that CS Lewis wove in a belief in Jesus and the kind of life Jesus encourages us to live seemlessly into a fantasy story that is engaging and entertaining.

Tomorrow, I plan on reading The Silver Chair. It's nice to go back and read these stories as an adult because I see things that I missed (or didn't know) when I was younger. Plus, the stories still hold my attention, something that could just as easily not happen.

My set is an older set (from when I was younger) and has the older order still intact (based on the order they were written, starting with The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe). And reading through the stories this time reminds me why I love the characters so much (and why I got frustrated with the changes in the second movie). It's something that is helping keep me happy (as is the good news from yesterday, now that I've got more sleep).

So, what are you reading lately?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Good News

Today, Ace and I got some good news. Something we thought had happened hadn't.

Then, our internet connection that had been downed unexpectedly came back up.

And then, I find that, after all this, exhaustion has started setting in (I've not been sleeping well lately) and my extensive vocabulary is failing me tonight.

Today, we got some good news. Maybe tomorrow I'll be excited about it again.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Well, I got a definitive answer today that I am not giving Ace the birthday gift I wanted to give him.

Instead, I got a day of feeling somewhat icky.

I'm tired and sore and my day really isn't fully over yet.

So, instead you get this crappy half post of me whining that I'm not feeling well.

Sorry. I'll try to do better tomorrow.


P.S.: I hate cramps with a passion. And sometimes Midol just isn't quite strong enough.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

On Birthdays and Waiting

Today is Ace's birthday. He turns 29 today. His plans, after work, are to work out some (at work, then he'll shower) and help me take a bath by heating up water on the stove so that I can have a warm bath and actually get clean (at least, that's the only plans I know of for sure).

Other than that, I am waiting. Hopefully, in a couple of days, I'll be able to give Ace a great birthday gift. Either way, we'll be happily celebrating our 6th anniversary later this month.

So, for now, I'm waiting. On Ace and on other things.

It's a good thing I've developed patience.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Good News Friday

Today has been a fairly good day, which is slightly impressive as we've not been getting the best news lately.

Today, I got a phone call related to me possibly getting a job (remember that job search I haven't talked about lately? yeah, it's still happening). Then, Ace texted me and told me that he was getting off work early (we weren't expecting that to happen).

Then we went to get a new battery put in our car (see, bad news) and it turned out not to be as expensive as we thought it might be. Plus, we now have something to jump start the car (we just need to charge it up, which is better than charging the car's battery every night and Ace spending his lunch break sitting in the car with it running to make sure he can get home each night).

Then we went and got ice cream.

So, today has been a fairly good day overall.


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

New Amsterdam? I Thought It Was New York!

Today, Sarah (of Sarah and the Goon Squad) wrote about remembering what the old name for New York was because she remembered a song from They Might Be Giants (it was a crossword puzzle answer).

Well, I commented about knowing why they changed the name (but I didn't put the reason in my comment) and she really wanted to know why, so she e-mailed me.

Before I sent her my reply, I checked with Wikipedia to make sure I had the right basics. And the reason is that originally, New York City was started by the Netherlands, who had formed the colony of New Netherlands (where New York is). Then, after several years, they ceded that land to England who decided to change the colony's name to New York and, from what I can tell, New Amsterdam to New York City.

And the odd thing is that I remembered about the Netherlands having the land and it ending up under English rule from my American History class. I haven't been in those classes for over 10 years, but this fact stuck in my head. Of course, now it's tempting to see if anyone around me knows this fact by calling NYC New Amsterdam, except that I have no reason to talk about NYC.


Jittery Sleep

Last night, I had a couple of issues with sleeping straight through the night.

I went to sleep around 1:30 am. An hour later, I got woken up by Ace's snoring. He doesn't normally wake me up when he snores (I assume that he snores off and on throughout the night and I know that I don't normally wake up). Then, at 6:30, I woke up and felt fairly awake (I think it was a temperature issue), but I looked at the time and decided that it was way too early for me to get up, so I went back to sleep.

After my alarm went off, I sat up and tried to wake up. That worked for half an hour, but by then I had lain back down and drifted off to sleep until my second alarm went off 30 minutes later.

I'm still feeling a little tired, but I know that I've had enough sleep so I'm trying to stay awake (I'm trying to get to sleep at a better time than I have been). I'm fairly sure the shower I'm planning on taking soon will wake me up completely. After all, cold showers have a tendency to do that.