Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dreaming Improbable Dreams

Last night, I dreamt, which I know is not unusual in itself, but I dreamt that I met Bryan White. Which I would actually like to do in person. (If you don't know who Bryan White is, either Google him, or e-mail me at It was cool, except he still looked like he did 10 years ago, which is unlikely, and neither of us was married (where as, as far as I know, we both are married in real life). There was a potential relationship going on, which has left me feeling odd, because I wouldn't leave Ace for anyone, but it was kind of nice to be pursued/flirted with by someone I think of as a celebrity.

That was the dream I'd like to have part of come true. My other dream, not so much. It involved my sister dying in a car crash, and me nearly dying too. I'd rather us both live long, healthy lives. And it was all I could do at 4 this morning to keep from calling her and making sure she was fine. But I realized it was a dream, she has school, I have work, and I should settle down and just go back to sleep. Actually, the dream about my sister got mentioned in the dream about Bryan White (as if they were all part of the same dream). While I disliked the dream, it has made me want to know more about my sister. So, something good has come out of it.

The only other news I have is that it's interesting what things people search for that land them here. I had someone get here with a search for Serial killers are sexy (because of my post on Dexter). Yeah. Um. I hope that person found what they were looking for.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Being Annoyed

Today, I seem to be rather touchy. I'm feeling annoyed by almost everything. In fact, I'm purposely not with Ace right now, because I got annoyed by the fact that he only wanted to listen to preaching and not even offer to let me watch TV. Because I'm so important or something? I don't know. I think it's just stress from work bleeding over into my home life.

And it's frustrating to me, because I was so happy yesterday and I was so happy when I woke up today, and now I'm just touchy. And annoyed by little things.

I know the things I should do to release the stress (deep breathing, take a bath, read, watch something funny), but I'm not sure I'm up for any of that right now.


I feel a little better now. I think part of my frustration is that Ace is not doing what I want him to, which is kind of selfish of me. It's just that I wanted him to help me with some things, and he doesn't seem to care. He just wants to lay, with his eyes closed, and listen to preaching. And I just want to scream.

Help me!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Sunny Days!

Out comes the sun, and warm weather, and out comes my sunny nature. I feel happy, excited, and at peace. I really need to find somewhere that it's sunny and warm almost every day and move there. It makes me much happier and makes me fun to be around.

Does it stay in the mid-60s down in south Texas in the winter? I should research that.

Have I mentioned that it's nice to see the sun yet? I've missed it, what with all the cloud cover we've had lately. It's not the cold that depresses me in the winter/early spring/late fall, but the clouds. It's okay for a day or two, but after that I need the sun to come back out.

But today is nice and sunny and unseasonably warm and I love.

I'm off to spread kisses and hugs to Ace, because he deserves them for putting up with me when it's not so sunny out.


Friday, February 22, 2008


I have issues with being labeled. It's not so much that I disagree that I am those things. I just don't like being pigeon-holed into being seen as only certain things. And the labels seem so limiting in how others would view me. I hate that people might look down on me for being a housewife (when I get to be) or a temp or whatever. There's nothing wrong with being those things. I like being those things (being a housewife more than being a temp, but that's just me).

And despite all that, there is one label I'm longing for that hasn't happened yet. (If you can't figure out what it is, you haven't been paying attention.)

I'm an odd woman.

The exhaustion is gone, but the hunger has returned.


Thursday, February 21, 2008


People! I am feeling exhausted. I'm not sure why. My best guess is that I'm fighting something off. I've been feeling tired for most of this week.

I can tell that something is off (besides just feeling tired), because I'm dropping things and mixing up my words. Worse, I'm not fully noticing when I mix up my words.

I'm very seriously thinking of going and taking a nap.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Valentine's Day The Sequel

It's not so much that Ace and I celebrated Valentine's Day, but that I never told you the wonderful stuff he did after last Monday. He got me roses, delivered the 13th (for cheaper shipping, and so I could enjoy them the entire day of the 14th). He also took me by the Russel Stover's store. He first planned on taking me Friday, but he was fighting off a cold or something (all I know is he was tired and was running a fever), so we delayed going until Monday. We got a really good deal on chocolate (4 for the price of 1).

He's also bought me a book, which I'll get to sometime later this year (I've got a few others to finish first). He is a wonderful husband, and I wouldn't trade him for anything. And now that I'm no longer in pain/stressed out/full of hormones making me feel crazy, I can appreciate him so much more.


Sunday, February 17, 2008

I've Been Taken Over by a Teenager!

Somehow, my body has decided to act like a teenage boy lately. And my mind is working with it somewhat. The things I've been interested in lately are food and sex (not so much this week on the sex). Everyday lately I seem to hit a part where I'm hungry and I can't seem to get full for anything.

I'll eat a full meal and still be hungry. I haven't eaten like this in years (at least not for more than a day). I have yet to figure it out, but I am eating a lot lately.

And now I'm going to go make myself food, because I'm starving over here!


Friday, February 15, 2008

Stubbornly Optimistic

Yesterday, after my semi-jealous ranting, I went to the bathroom and saw that I was spotting. Of course my baby-obsessed mind turned that into potential good news instead of the harbinger of doom that it was.

"It could be an embryo emplanting. I could be getting pregnant right now, and was just premature in peeing on the only pregnancy test in the house."

And then I had a couple of brownies and relaxed for most of the rest of the evening (except for some laundry folding).

This morning, still on the light spotting, which just keep me believing the optimistic hope that maybe I wasn't going to start my period this month.

While at work, I noticed my jeans were feeling really tight around the waist. And all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and not move for a week.

Have I mentioned that I'm definitely not pregnant this month, but was stubbornly optimistic about the slightest potential of it happening?

After taking 2 Midol, I think I'm feeling human enough not to hide under my covers all weekend, but I'm not up for doing anything today.

I'm going to lay back down now.


Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Wait Part ? (We must be on part 15 by now, right?)

Today, I am supposed to start my period. Hasn't happened, but the day isn't over yet. In an overly expectant mood this morning, I peed on a stick (or took a pregnancy test, stick with whichever phrase makes you happy). It came up negative. Happy Valentine's Day from my body.

Then we went and started getting our taxes done. While we were there, the tax guy mentioned that he and his wife are going to have #5. Great for them, hard on someone waiting for #1. And getting taxes done is like the least romantic thing to do on Valentine's Day.

Then, Amalah, whose blog I love reading (and her son is so cute it makes my blood-sugar rise just looking at him) decides to tell us that she's pregnant with #2.

I'm happy for them, I'm just fighting off the green-eyed monster as I'm sitting here. And I'm waiting for something to happen over here in this body. Will I be pregnant or has my body just been messing with me lately?

Is it okay to cry with frustration? Or should I gorge myself on the brownies cooling in the kitchen?


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

55 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Dog hair, mostly

2. When was the last time you threw up? Um, sometime in December

3. What's your favorite curse word? lately, fuck

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Ace, Cary Grant, and Tony Curtis

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? wishing I didn't have to go to work, pushing the snooze button for 10 more minutes of sleep

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? watching Operation Petticoat

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? watching something else on TV

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? not as of yet

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? "At least he isn't over here by me."

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ace says vanilla, I say Americone Dream by Ben & Jerry

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Mixed Berry Juice

12. What are you wearing right now? jeans and a Levi's shirt

13. What was the last thing you ate? Teryaki chicken

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope

15. When was the last time you ran? this morning

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? um... the 2006 Olympics?

18. Who is the last person you emailed? personally - my sister, professionally - a printer

19. Ever go camping? I have, but I didn't like it

20. Do you have a tan? not currently

21. Do you drink your soda from a straw? sometimes

22. What did your last IM say? it's been so long, I don't remember

23. Are you someone's best friend? yes (Ace, for sure)

24. What are you doing tomorrow? getting my taxes done, laundry, sleeping

25. Where is your mom right now? I don't know, but I assume work

26. Look to your left, what do you see? a wall

27. What color is your watch? pink (and it's a part of my phone)

28. What do you think of when you think of Australia? beaches

29. Would you consider plastic surgery? yes, someday I want a breast reduction

30. What is your birthstone? opal

31. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? usually the drive-thru

32.How many kids do you want? I want to start with 1 and see how it goes from there

33. Do you have a dog? yes

34. Last person you talked to on the phone? Ace to tell I was coming home for the day

36. Have you met anyone famous? not that I recall

37. Any plans today? relax, sleep, have fun

38. How many states have you lived in? two

39. Ever go to college? yes

40. Where are you right now? home, in my living room

41. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? usually the dog, but only because he stares at me when I eat

42. Last song listened to? Auld Lang Sine (on the movie)

43. Are you allergic to anything? dust in my nose

44. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? my sneakers

45. Are you jealous of anyone? not really

46. Is anyone jealous of you? not that I know of

47. What time is it? about 2:30

48. Do any of your friends have children? yes

49. Do you eat healthy? I try

50. What do you usually do during the day? work, watch TV, surf the internet, eat

51. Do you hate anyone right now? no

52. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? probably

53. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 28

54. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes, but not for a long time

55. How did you get one of your scars? I cut my hand with the lid to a can I was opening. It hurt a lot, and left a faint, white scar.

That's all for now.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Valentine's Day & Nausea

Ace and I decided to celebrate Valentine's Day yesterday. We went out to a nice dinner at El Chico. We exchanged cards (Ace got me a card that I had considered getting him). I gave him his gift(s) (me, in some lingerie). We had some only slightly awkward sex (I was feeling slightly nauseous and light headed).

And that brings me around to the nausea. Yeah, I've been feeling slightly nauseous the past two days. And my breasts have been tender some (off and on) over the last 3 days. In the past, around my period, my nipples have been sensitive, but not my whole breasts.

I'm going to go back to laying down, trying to not feel sick.



Saturday, February 9, 2008

Memories, Mostly Misty But Not Watercolored

Or, I'm Thinking of What my Life Was Like in the 80s and early 90s.

Way back when I was turning 6 (1986), I remember that my friends and I were concerned about Baby Jessica (that's still what I think of her as, even though I've heard she's grown up, gotten married, and living a life out of the public eye as much as possible). She was down the well, and in fact got pulled out during my 6th birthday party.

My dad recently revealed that he and my mom weren't happy that all of us little girls wanted to watch, just in case something bad happened, but we were so adamant that we watch (or at least I was) that they gave in and let us. In fact, my mother was waiting in the kitchen with my cake, candles lit, until after Baby Jessica was rescued (which means she missed it because roughly 5 5-and-6 year-olds made her wait). It's one of the earliest clear memories I have.

From what I can tell, based on my vast exploring of 1 website, I didn't have the same experiences as most other kids growing up in the 80s. My family didn't have cable (so, I didn't get to see MTV, ever, or Nickelodeon, unless we were at someone else's house). I didn't have any gaming systems (although I think I've played an Atari before, I'm just not sure).

But I had lots of My Little Ponies, Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcakes, Barbies, Babysitter's Club books, and Judy Blume books. Not really deprived, and I guess I'd never shown any interest in game systems (I did want cable, and I'm sure my parents knew that, they just didn't care), until I got a Game Boy when I was about 12 or 13 (it had a clear cover, but was somewhat brick like in look and size).

I can remember when it became popular in 6th grade for girls to get pacifiers and suck on them. That was one thing my parents forbid, so I didn't have one (and was frustrated by it). But I did have jelly shoes, which I suppose made up for it.

Well, I think I've shared enough misty memories for now. Maybe I'll mention more sometime in the future.


Friday, February 8, 2008

The Work Day Ends with a Scream

Yesterday wasn't the best day. When I was almost at work, a little smoke started coming out from under the hood. Then, I felt stressed about work stuff and snapped a little at my boss (I also called him back and apologized for snapping). I filled the coolant tank back up (because I figured that was the problem), but when I was almost home, guess what happened again?

Yeah, the smoke started back up. Plus, it smelled like tar, which caused me to check when the oil needed to be changed. 2000 miles earlier according to the little sticker they put in your car so you'll get your oil changed regularly. Ace hadn't looked recently, and we had done a lot more driving than he had thought.

On the plus side, when I got home, I got a big hug from Ace. He went and got the oil changed too. He's hoping to find out tonight if that was enough to fix the smoke/smell problem. We are still going to take the car to our mechanic, because it is going through coolant waaaaay too fast. Then he did something he hadn't done in a long while. He took the evening off to help make me feel better.

And then, at the end of the day, we had sex. I guess yesterday wasn't so bad after all.


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

More About Us Getting TV Again (And Maybe Some Other Stuff Too)

Because Ace works for DirecTV, we are getting the services for free (most of the services, we have to pay for pay-per-view and service calls after the installation, but I think that's it). And we only have to wait until Sunday for it to be installed! Ace spent at least an hour looking at what will be on the movie stations Sunday, trying to figure out what we might watch. I sat in my seat wishing my back felt better so I could get up and dance about it.

In other, slightly confusing news, Ace has been giving me soda for most of the past week. Normally we don't keep soda in our house, but we got some while we were at Wal-Mart last week, and then Ace got some more when he was picking up groceries this week, and he's not given me any juice since he restocked the supply. It's been odd. Juice is actually more likely to be my drink of choice (it doesn't have carbonation and carbonation causes problems with my ears ringing sometimes).

Oh, and sticking with food, I've been eating at lunch like I've skipped like 5 meals since I last ate, but have been starving the whole time. And this gigantic hunger comes from no where. I'm fine, and then I'm starving. It's crazy!

I guess that's all for now.


P.S.: I hope Sarah and her Goon Squad feel better as quickly as possible. I miss her interesting and revealing (about how kids think) posts.

Coming to a House Near Me Soon

Okay, not so much a house near me as my house. Sunday, Ace and I get our DirecTV installed. Sunday is going to be a great day in this house. The installer should be here between 8 and 12 Sunday morning. We are also getting a visit from Karen and her kids (Jack and Jill). While they are here, Karen is going to give us messages (she's a massage therapist) to start paying us for the massage chair we traded her (for 8 massages).

Could it be Sunday now?


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The Parts of Commercials I Dislike

I'm going to put up a short list of what specifically is said in certain commercials to make me dislike them immensely (and my comments about them). Feel free to add yours to the comments.

1. "This product has been proven to help you quit smoking." Um, no. I've never taken this product (nor smoked), so it's not been proven to help me with anything.

2. "I don't want to be another statistic." You'll be a statistic either way, you just don't want to be on the bad side of the statistics.

3. "We've got the lowest prices. Guaranteed." The commercials I see with this the most often are stores that I know have some of the highest prices. It's ridiculous.

4. I don't have a number 4, because numbers one through three bug me too much to think of any other lines from commercials that bug me.

That's all for now.


P.S.: Tulsa, at 12:30 a.m. on a Saturday, has a show about a tree service. I never knew that before. Tonight's show is from after our recent ice storm. Apparently Tulsa has 90 days from the storm to clear up all the debris, which might explain why my power is on, but my neighborhood still has lots of branches.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Born Naked(?)

This weekend, I decided to see how long I could go without wearing clothes (just walking around naked). I actually made it through all of Saturday and most of today. I got dressed around 5:15 pm today so that Ace and I could go buy couple of books (I ended up with 2 I Spy books, because I love looking for things in pictures), return some movies from Blockbuster (okay, it was Dexter Season 1, but still), rent a few new movies, and finish our grocery shopping at Wal-Mart (Ace went last night, but forgot a few things).

I found out that walking around naked was a big turn on. It did make me decide that I need to walk around naked more often at home. If only Guillermo didn't seem to like to stare at me when I'm naked (it's like he can't figure me out, or something).

Anyway... Um, that's really all I have to say, other than Sex and the Teenage Mind ended up being a waste of time and money. I wouldn't recommend it.


P.S.: This is actually the longest time I've spent naked since before I was born.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Sex Sells

Ace suggested that I title today's post sex, but I figured I'd add sells. Yesterday, after talking about being horny (and having sex), I had 11 hits here. It's Ace's theory that I got more hits because I mentioned sex. I half agree with him (the other half is busy thinking about the Chinese food I've got in my fridge).

Other than thinking of advertising (and it's mottos), I haven't done much this evening. I am debating whether or not to get out some alcohol and drink (just because I'm possibly ovulating doesn't mean I can't enjoy getting slightly tipsy and relaxing.

Well, I think I'll get me a plate of Chinese and some alcohol and relax in my bed for the rest of the evening.