Friday, August 29, 2008

Refusing to Sleep

Some part of my subconscious is unhappy. I can tell because I'm having problems finding a desire to sleep when I'm tired. My brain doesn't seem to want to relax, which I take to mean that there's something I don't want to deal with in my dreams.

I think the problem is that I recently dreamt of my mother. And she was mad. Ace and I were trying to sleep for a few hours at her house (I have not clue why, that part is fuzzy), and she was determined that we not do that (What's interesting is that I'm fairly sure she wouldn't react that way, but would instead try to reinstate a relationship if we were to come by her house.).

I'm not sure what I'm avoiding, but it's obvious that I'm avoiding something and it's obviously not pleasant. Unfortunately, there isn't much Ace can do for me at this time. He's trying (or at least he did last night when I first brought it up), but it's not like he can crawl into my head and find out what I need. And I'm not much help right now.

So, I'm frustrated and trying to find things to make me laugh to help while Ace is at work. So, anything you want to send me to help cheer me up, send to a_masmith at yahoo dot com and you will be much appreciated.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Survey

I don't really have much to say, so I thought I'd give my answers to a survey that my sister did earlier.

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
Not at all.

Does a kiss make you feel better?

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
I've passed out and woken up with my legs on the bathroom floor (I was on the toilet at the time), but I've never passed out on the bathroom floor.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
before I get in, to adjust the temperature just right.

What did you do today?
had a bad dream, called Ace, slept a little more, watched TV, got food, watched more TV... that's been it.

Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?

Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
I've never had more than 1 boyfriend at a time.

Have you ever thought about your death?
yes, possibly more than I should have in the past

Ever been in love?
I'm in love now.

Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
I'm in a permanent relationship now, and I'm perfectly happy to be in it.

What is your favorite sport?
Watching - gymnastics. Playing - I don't play sports.

What color is your shower curtain?
vanilla (at least, that's what the packaging said)

Have you ever had stitches?
yes, but only from surgery

Did you believe that boys/girls had cooties?
probably, at some point when I was really little.

Do you know how to use chop sticks?
yes, fairly decently in fact

Lyrics stuck in your head?
nothing currently

Do you like the Red Sox or Yankees?
I could care less.

What are you doing tomorrow?
probably something similar to what I did today

Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
I don't remember.

Have you ever run over an animal?

What is your favorite cereal?
honey nut cheerios, dry

Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter?
not that I remember

What are you doing right at this moment?
listening to Mythbusters

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
Why do you care what I think on this?

Where's your favorite place to be?
bed, with Ace (although, I'm dreaming of a vacation right now)

What's your favorite song?
The Dance by Garth Brooks

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
I don't drink coffee ever and rarely drink alcohol.

Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
no... Why do people do this?

Have you ever been skinny dipping?
um... sort of, but it's a secret (don't tell my in-laws)

Have you ever been arrested?

Do you dream in black and white?
not usually

Do you talk in your sleep?
only if I'm trying to get someone to shut up, from what I can tell

Do you snore?
when my nose is stuffy, yes... otherwise, I've been told I don't

Are you a redneck?

Funniest thing you heard all day?
"Am I missing an eyebrow?" Adam Savage

Have you ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
um, no, but that's one of the few places I haven't gotten bitten

What are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid of anything.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Practice, Practice, Practice

Just because the only thing resembling a baby in this house doesn't mean that I don't have some phrases that I'm getting tired of saying.

"Out!" I say this and the dog usually interprets it to mean that he needs to move 5 feet (or less) and can then sit again, necessitating me to say it again. Occasionally it means I'm kicking him out of the house for a little while.

"Off!" This means the dog has tried to climb on something I don't want him on. Usually it's the bed or my chair. This isn't actually used that often.

"Shut up!" This is screamed from another room because Guillermo is barking at either another dog walking outside or the garage door going up because Ace is home (that has gotten decidedly less, as he seems to understand that he doesn't need to bark at the garage door if someone is home).

"Do you want to go outside?" This is another way of me trying to kick him out for a little while.

I'm viewing this as good practice for when I have kids to try to do what I want them to do. Of course, I'm hoping not to be yelling things out from another room when I've actually need to discipline my kids.


Saturday, August 23, 2008

Ever Present Optimism

Last night, Ace and I went by Whataburger and Wal-Mart after Ace got home from work (I'm fairly sure we were the only customers in Wal-Mart). Ace was hungry and wanted to go buy World of Warcraft (this means he should be spending a little less time on it than he was as it being a 10 day free trial).

While Ace went to go look for his game, I looked at baby clothes. Then, I found a onesie that we actually bought (it was inexpensive, and gives us something to focus on). It's green and has Genius in the Making written on it.

And the onesie is where the ever present optimism comes in. Because, as far as we know, I'm not currently pregnant (since I just had my period, it's unlikely that I am). But, we are still trying. And I've figured out how to relax, so it's more likely that we'll be successful.

I did wonder, while looking at baby clothes, why purple isn't considered a neutral color for babies (it's the color that's produced when red and blue are mixed, so you would think it would be the most neutral, but...). I decided that if I ever got into designing baby clothes (which I probably won't), I'd make some neutral purple clothing.

So, for now, I'm still happily in a place of ever present optimism.


Friday, August 22, 2008

Since I Last Posted

I've been working on continuing to breath since I last posted. Sunday, I woke up feeling sleepy (okay, I usually wake up sleepy, but I was sleepier than normal) and figured that I was probably fighting off something. By the end of the day, I had a cough.

Monday, I had a runny, stuffy nose. And a not so nice cough still.

By Wednesday, my nose had stopped running, and I could breathe though my nose again. But, the cough decided to stay.

I know that I should probably have tried to find a doctor in my insurance's health coverage and gotten medicine so that I'd already be breathing easy, but I haven't wanted to stay that upright for that long.

Instead, I've spent most of the last 4 days in bed (at least, as much as I felt I could). I'm not coughing nearly as much (for the most part), but I'm still ready for my breathing to be entirely easy again.

So, tomorrow, at least, I'll continue to try to take it easy and focus on continuing to breathe.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Accident

Earlier, Ace got into an accident on the way to work.

He's fine. He didn't even get the slightest bit hurt. Serenity, our SUV, didn't fair so well. She'll need some body work and some lights fixed.

As it turns out, the guy at the back of the 3 car pile up (the car in front of Ace took off and left the scene, otherwise it would have been a 4 car pile up). Car #3 (the guilty party) had breaking issues, so Ace tried to move around the car in front of him (into an empty lane), but couldn't without hitting the car in front of him, so he hit the breaks. Then, Car #3 hit Car #2 who in turn hit Ace, who then couldn't help but hit Car #1 (who left).

Most likely, no one was hurt (the passenger of Car #3 left in an ambulance, but he was probably faking). The driver of Car #3 was pissed off that the cops (who got to the scene after I did, and I had to get dressed before I could even start to get there) did not believe him that Ace was the one at fault (he was pointing to the plastic from the light that got broken when Ace hit Car #1). But, Serenity and Car #2 were both starting to be in the other right hand lane in an obvious attempt to avoid the accident, or at least to lessen the damage. Of course, the driver was also pissed off that he was being arrested. He was trying to get some sympathy from the cops by telling them that he had recently had surgery on his shoulder (which, if he were on pain medications, may have helped them to be under the impression that he was drunk). The cops didn't care (the man evoked no sympathy from anyone).

Ace did not go to work. He spent a good 2 hours letting me just be near to him so that irrational part of me that felt like I could have potentially lost him (um, not really, based on the damage) would realize that he's fine (he came out without a scratch).

But, all in all, it wasn't the best way to start my day.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Olympics

I've been watching the Olympics lately (big surprise, who hasn't been?). Mostly, I've been watching the swimming and gymnastic events.

Last night, after being slightly frustrated that I couldn't find out exactly how the USA did at men's gymnastics (because the recording ran out before the final scores were posted), I looked it up online. Then I read where apparently most people weren't thinking that the USA had much of a chance at winning any medals at all. Now, I don't closely follow gymnastics (or any sport), but I never doubted that we could win medals at the Olympics for gymnastics. For a little bit last night, I thought we could win gold, until we didn't get as high of scores as I thought that we should have on a the high bar (2 people who seemed to do flawlessly impressive routines and they both got under 16? I think they were robbed!).

All I can hope is that the women's gymnastics will be judged in a way that doesn't seem biased. And that they've worked out the small issues they had at the trials (hopefully, they will keep sticking those landings!).

I've enjoyed watching Michael Phelps (please tell me I spelled his name right) break several world records while winning gold medals. I can see why the man might have some fans (having all those rippling muscles doesn't hurt either). 3 days, 3 gold medals, 3 new world records. Wow!

I've got to go. My stomach is starting to demand food and I've got shopping to do. But I will be watching the Olympics tonight (I love my DVR!) and cheering the USA on for more wins (by which, I mean medals).


Saturday, August 9, 2008

What I've Learned from "The Baby Borrowers: Lessons Learned"

Mainly, I've been reminded that having kids is popular these days. It's popular for everyone to have kids.

But, and I can't stress this strongly enough, I don't want to have kids because it's popular.

I want to have kids, because I want to be a mother. I dream of it (at least, I day dream of it). I want to face all the hard times (midnight feedings, temper tantrums, potty training, etc.) because I know that ultimately it IS worth it, that kids are better than they seem based on reality TV/movies/books/whatever (I do like that the show showed the real possibilities though, because I'm all for teaching teens why they don't want kids yet).

So, hopefully, a lot of teens learned something from this show (hey, if someone in their mid-20s can learn lots of things, teens should have too). I somewhat hope this comes out on DVD so that I can be able to show it to my kids when they are old enough (which obviously happens after I have kids).

I wonder if there will be a second season with new teens and new kids. If so, I'll probably watch again.

What did you learn from this series?

Friday, August 8, 2008


I'm wondering what makes a marriage last. Why some couples are able to be married for 50-60+ years and others don't make it past 2. The only thing I can imagine was that it has to do with communication. Maybe the couples who communicate are able to stay married longer.

I'm happy that my marriage is going well. I'm glad it has been well for the last 5 years. I'm hoping for it to go even better over the next 50+ years. Ace and I talk, a lot. And sometimes when we talk more, I write less here, because I say those things I need to say.

I'm going to go. I've got things to do, including eating some chocolate that is calling my name.

But for now, I'll keep wondering about what makes a marriage last.


Thursday, August 7, 2008

Feeling Better

My shoulder is still slightly getting over Guillermo's strength fighting against my strength. It feels fine most of the time, but if I've been using my arms a lot during the day, it gets sore and doesn't want to let me use it.

Nicely, it's already started feeling better. But I still think I'm going to give it a break for the rest of the evening (as I've no been up long enough to go to bed yet).

So, while my shoulder is doing much, much better, it's not quite whole yet.


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Still Waiting

Today has moved by slowly. Or at least parts of it have moved by slowly.

I'm waiting on Ace to get back home so we can go pick up a couple of things from the store.

I'm also waiting for the weekend, when I'll be obsessed with my body and whether or not I'm pregnant.

Can doing a lot of waiting make you go crazy?


Saturday, August 2, 2008

What I've Learned from "The Baby Borrowers" Parts 5 and 6

This is a combined post of what I've learned from episodes 5 and 6 of The Baby Borrowers. I wrote what I was learning while watching, so some of my points may end up looking awkward by the end.

1. Teens feel comfortable cursing in front of other teens, even when they are supposed to be setting a good example.

2. I was only surprised about who left because he seemed so mellow and like he would stick out the short time left, even if they would be sleeping in different rooms and not really talking (although, leaving was a better idea).

3. Boys are going to do some stupid things (because they are boys), but just yelling at them won't fix the problem. You need to actually discipline them.

4. Family trips should be doing something fun, not boring (at least one member of the family should be having fun, preferably the whole family will have fun).

5. Teenagers are willful, at least at times.

6. Breakups are hard. Living together after you decide to break up is even worse. And it will mess up your kids if you fight in front of them (or loudly away from them).

7. Sorry means a lot, but it doesn't cover everything when you kick someone out of their house for 5 hours. It's really awkward if you are planning on breaking up with them within a few weeks.

8. Girls are, overall, calmer and more relaxed than boys (at least, they cause less problems and do less crazy stuff).

9. Sometimes a break from your significant other is a good thing, even if it's just for 8 hours for work.

10. Teen boys maybe somewhat wild, but they can be very sweet when they want to be. At least, when they aren't getting an attitude and mouthing off.

11. Sometimes your heart tells you one thing and your head tells you another and you have to decide which one to listen to. Life's not always easy.

12. A lot can happen in roughly 3 weeks (I'm estimating based on how long each group is with the teens and how much time they had alone to begin with).

13. Sometimes, I just wish I could reach into the TV and give people hugs. But I can't.

14. Maybe the best things you could do with older people is learn from them. Talk to them and listen. But, you do actually have to talk.

15. Old people are cute! Of course, I kind of thought that before this, but it's been reinforced.

16. There are consequences to things you do now that may not hit until you are older. Sometimes, it's hard to judge what those consequences are and whether or not they are worth it. Try to be careful in you decision making.

17. Unexpected things happen. Sometimes those unexpected things have long lasting effects. You just have to keep up your hope and push through today to get to tomorrow.

18. Sometimes old people and babies have a lot in common. But sometimes they have a lot in common with teens/young adults.

19. Every relationship has it's ups and downs. It's how you deal with your differences that determines how your relationship goes.

20. The elderly like getting up early. And sometimes, they are sarcastic. But, they are cute!

21. I've changed my mind on how doomed all the relationships are, but I'm not sure how many of these couples will be able to make it for the rest of their lives.

22. We really can learn a lot from those who have been there before us. The biggest thing you can learn is that you have to stay devoted to your relationship, even if things get hard. Actually, you have to be more devoted to get through the hard times.

23. You have to be patient when it comes to figuring out who you love and who you want to spend your life with. Don't just follow your emotions. Listen to your head as well as your heart.

24. I am definitely ready for having kids of my own, but I'm glad I won't have to go through them growing quite as fast as they did on the show.

25. According to the end, I was right about none of the couples making it as a couple. Most of them stayed friends, but they realized they weren't ready for a life long commitment quite yet. There was a part of me that wished I was wrong, but I'm not surprised.

And now you know that I've learned from The Baby Borrowers.

Wishing and Waiting

I feel like I'm in a period of waiting in my life. I'm waiting on, well, pretty much everything. Specifically, right now, I am waiting on Ace to get off work. He's not got much longer until he will be off and on his way home, but it's what I'm waiting on right now.

While I'm waiting, I'm finding myself wishing. Wishing for a baby (you'd think I was trying to get pregnant or something, huh?), wishing for a better house with better furniture, wishing for the library of my dreams (I love books), wishing I was in great physical condition, wishing that America's culture wasn't one that made a woman feel bad if she didn't look similar to Angelina Jolie.

Most of those wishes are things that I just have to wait on. So, I'm wishing and waiting.


P.S.: I'll write later about the Baby Borrowers, I just felt the need to post to help pass the time while waiting.