Friday, July 30, 2010

Shaken

I have recently been trying to get back in touch with some of my family. In fact, I'm supposed to be having dinner with some of them Friday (tonight) and/or Saturday (tomorrow) night. Everything seemed to be going fairly well until a few hours ago.

One of my aunts and uncles went to lunch with my grandmother. She was excited about me coming into town and dinner. At least she was until she heard that my mother wasn't invited to dinner (she heard it from my mother, not my aunt and uncle). Then she got upset that my mother wasn't invited. I'm not sure my grandmother fully understands what's going on between my mother and I. I know that my dad had to tell her he wasn't part of it before she was fully okay with him again. I don't want to confuse my grandmother, so I'm not telling her what it's about (I'm not sure she would understand anyway).

Now, because of potential boat-rocking, my aunt and uncle are probably not coming to dinner. Sadly, this was only hours after they had determined that they would go to dinner with us (weird weekend shifts for my uncle mean weird sleeping patterns on the weekend, which meant they were originally not sure they were coming). My aunt is trying to play peace-maker and appease my upset mother (my sister told my mother, which got this whole thing rolling, but it's hard to get too upset with my sister since she is currently living with/dependent on my mother), and my aunt knows that I am much more forgiving.

So, instead of just being excited (and wondering why I haven't packed yet), I'm left feeling shaken because I didn't know my mother had the power to hurt me any more. I had thought cutting her out of my life would stop her ability to hurt me, and it has up until now. Now, she's managed to find a way to get to me because she's upset that I want contact with family again. I think. Who knows? Maybe she's just upset that I didn't invite her to dinner, which why would I?

Ace is frustrated, because there is little he can do to fix anything other than hold me while I cry and remind me that my mother hasn't shown any concern about finding out how I am from the avenue he suggested (apparently, she's getting all her news from my dad and probably my sister). He's trying to not get too upset with my family, but it's hard for him because he sees me hurting and they are causing at least part of it (inadvertently).

One of my cousins is excited to see me, so I know that I'll get to see her and my siblings. I'm trying to convince myself that if they are the only ones who show up, it's okay. Some of my relatives are/will be out of town and some have sick families to take care of. But even if others use lame excuses, at least I'll know there are some who really care about me and want to see me. And as much as I hate to think it, I'm fairly certain that this whole thing may damage some relationships that weren't on too stable ground already. Adding 5 years of not seeing/talking to/being around each other doesn't help.

I know that it would be easier for some people if I would just allow my mother back in my life. It would make them feel less in the middle. I'm not happy they are in the middle, but I'm not the one putting them there (I'm not asking them to choose a side). But I can't do something just because it would make other people's lives easier. I can't do something that I think is detrimental to myself to make others happier. I've done that enough in the past. I have to try to find my way and to do the things that are best for me and my family. Knowing that doesn't make things easier, but right isn't always easy. And I know I have to do the right things in order to make myself righteous.

I hope that people who know me know that I did not cut ties with my mother lightly. It was something I struggled with for a year. And there are times even now that I wonder if I should try to re-establish contact and ignore the past wrongs. But then I remember why that's not a good idea. I remind myself that it took me a long time to realize that most of my stress at the time was coming from that relationship. I've got to remember that I cut those ties for a reason. That I could not have a healthy relationship with my mother when she was so emotionally unhealthy.

I should probably go now. I've got to get some sleep before what's shaping up to be a few very long days with some pleasant patches thrown in. I'd like to look at least presentable for my cousin/siblings later.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Still Alive, Still Reading

I just thought I should pop on here to say that I am still alive, I just still have 4 more library books to read. After the next 2 I should be slowing down a bit more and might be able to post something here some.

See you in August!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Can't Post, Gotta Read

I've got 7 books to read (all from the library). I really should spend most of my time right now reading books, so posting will probably be sparse for a while (although, who knows? I could have lots to say tomorrow and post a long post about something).

Yay, books!

P.S.: I'll try to remember to tell you the story about not believing everything you read in your mail later.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Marriage Is Work, But It's Fun

Yesterday, Ace and I got to hear about marriage and how to build a stronger marriage (we love learning about how to strengthen our marriage). Nicely, we left feeling like we'd already figured most of the things we were being taught out before now and that our marriage was flowing fairly smoothly because of it. It did, however, inspire me to want to write about marriage some today.

One of the biggest things that seems to need saying is that no one can read another person's mind. If you are mad at me, there's probably a very good chance that I don't know exactly what I did to make you mad. Most people, usually women, get mad at their spouses and then won't say why they are mad. And that just complicates things for no good reason.

To be honest, I think the biggest thing that kills most marriages is that no one in that marriage is communicating clearly with their spouse. Ace and I occasionally miss what the other person said or have misunderstandings of the ideas trying to be communicated. But, instead of just getting mad, we try again to communicate with each other. It helps us communicate with other people better, because we are working on communicating within our own marriage.

As the pastor spoke, he mentioned that if the couples he would counsel would just communicate more (and be allowed to tell their spouse what changes they need in the relationship without anger being expressed over them), most of their problems would not exist. That doesn't surprise me. Ace and I talk a lot and we don't have many problems in our relationship because we don't let things fester. I don't continuously get onto him if he leaves his dirty socks out of the laundry, but I occasionally remind him that it really bothers me. He doesn't constantly tell me that I need to start doing X or Y more often (he has things for X or Y, but I'd rather not discuss them today), but he does remind me from time to time that he'd prefer it if I'd do them. We vent the frustration quickly and then we move on to other, more positive things.

Ace and I don't push each other's buttons when one of us is mad. We walk away from the discussion for a few minutes and calm down and then discuss it calmly and rationally (normally, I'm the one who feels the need to calm down, and I haven't needed to do that in years). There's passion in our conversations, but there isn't anger or hurt. We fix the cause and that pulls us closer together. So, for heaven's sake, talk to each other! Be honest and open, but respectful! This could help keep your marriage from being a negative statistic!

Now comes the exciting part of this post. I'm going to talk about sex. Men, if you want more sex, give your wife some non-sexual affection. You can go look up non-sexual now, we'll all wait. If you are wondering how that works, when a woman gets non-sexual affection, she starts to feel loved and cherished instead of feeling like she is just someone you want to have sex with. It starts making her want to return the affection, which leads to sex. If you try giving your wife non-sexual affection and it doesn't lead to sex within a week, I'll be happy to refund you your entrance fee for reading this post. Women, if you have sex with your husband, it will lead to more affection. I'm not sure how it works, but sex will somehow make your husband more interested in giving you hugs and kisses and holding your hand and all those other things he did when you were dating (if he didn't do those things, I'm not sure what to tell you, other than point out that if he does them, he'll get more sex).

While you are doing those 3 simple things, remember that while they may feel like you are doing a lot of work (and that it may only start out with one of you doing these things, because someone has to start the process), they quickly become easier until they become habits. And once they become habits, you should realize that they are fun. Sex is fun! Non-sexual affection is fun! Communicating is fun! Not needing to fight about things is fun. And more importantly, it helps you to have a more stable relationship. I know this, because Ace and I do this. We communicate openly and honestly, we show affection for each other, we have sex and both enjoy it. And we both want you to have all of that too.

Isn't a great, fun marriage worth a little bit of work? Especially when it saves you work in the long run?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Tomorrow

I've got things to talk about. Lots of words to type up and put out into the world. But not today. Today, I'm tired and I'm not going to write all these things while tired. I'm fairly sure I would mix my message up and everything would be all jumbled and not make sense.

Tomorrow, I'll go over my notes from earlier today. Notes about marriage and relationships and I'll write what I feel the need to say. I'll sit and write and tomorrow, I'll have a great post.

Today, I'm going to try to read on a book from the library. I'm going to relax and remind myself that all those things I want to say will come out more clearly tomorrow. I'll remind myself that I'll get my squishy piggy (that I sleep with) back tomorrow and that there is a reason why I don't normally take her on trips (I might forget to bring her back, like I did today).

Tomorrow should be another good day, as today has been. Tomorrow has a world of possibilities to it. I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I Don't Even Ask Anymore

Last Monday night/early Tuesday morning, I did laundry. When I went to move the clothes to the dryer, I found out that the washer had leaked. Of course, I found out the way I always seem to find out something is leaking, by stepping in the water and getting my foot wet (I really don't like my feet being wet, so I notice it right away).

I went to get Ace to check and make sure I wasn't going crazy (and to clean the water, because bending makes my back unhappy). He cleaned up the water and then went to tell his mom that the washer was leaking. I moved clothes to the dryer and tried not to think about it too much.

The next day, after my father-in-law came home, he was told about the washer and called up Sears (because they have a policy that Sears has to come out and fix things, but they will fix them for free, and will even order new parts for free, which is nice as long as you aren't in a hurry about having things like a fully fixed washer). It turns out that there is a small hole in the bottom of the washer that was letting a little bit of water out. The washer was bought in 1986 and they stopped making it in 1987. Since the warranty policy thing my in-laws have with Sears gives Sears up to two weeks to find a replacement part, we are currently stuck with a washer that can do half loads and needs a towel right there to soak up the water that will escape.

If Sears can't find a replacement part, I think they have to replace the washer (I'm not sure, I'm fuzzy on the details and we weren't here when the Sears' guy came and talked to them about it all). I get that a free washer is better than paying for a washer, but a washer without a hole in it is better than one that has a hole in it and a new washer could be delivered faster than a week or two while Sears searches for a part. But it's not my house and these are not my decisions, so I'm not going to ask about it. It wouldn't do any good anyway.

So, tonight I'm doing several half loads of laundry, trying to get all my clothes clean so that we can pack up and take a trip this weekend (we're going to Meno, OK, for a marriage enrichment seminar). I'm not sure it's going to be exciting, but it gets us away from the in-laws for 2 nights, so it's worth it to me.

I Breathe

At some point, a confrontation is going to occur. I know this, and hope that when it comes I'll have all the right things to say. That my anger and frustration don't overshadow my words. But that confrontation is for another day, so for now I breathe.

I focus on breathing in and out. I focus on closing doors, both mentally and physically, to give myself some relief from my almost constant source of stress. I remind myself that everything now is temporary and that I'm getting closer, so much closer to the place I want to be.

The pain is strong, stronger than I ever knew I could withstand. Right now my breathing is almost like a prayer. "Please God," I think. "Help me make it until the medications kick in. Give me a little relief." I try to focus on breathing through the pain and remind myself that soon I won't be hurting, I can make it, after it stops I can rest and let my body relax. I focus on breathing in and out and wait for something to take away the pain of cramps and backaches.

I breathe. I focus on breathing in and out because everything is too much and it's all louder/brighter/stronger than normal. I've been pushed too far physically and I'm just reminding myself that in just a few more moments I'll be allowed to rest, relax, and imagine that the world is kept at bay by a closed door. I'll be allowed to recover, physically and emotionally, with healing sleep so very soon, and for now I need to just breathe.

The past few weeks and months have been long and stressful. The only real word to describe them is long. Time seems to be almost slowing down. I'm struggling with holding myself together until Ace and I can get out of here. My emotional walls have taken a huge beating from me just trying to hold on for just a little while longer, to not be disappointed that perfect timing ended up with cramps and slight disappointment. I've been trying some to focus on just breathing more.

Breathe in, breathe out. Focus on breathing and nothing more. Don't think, don't move, just breathe. Find center again. Calm everything. Breathe in, breathe out. Ignore sound, ignore everything else, just breathe.

Monday, July 12, 2010

I Hope It Was Worth It

The grand total made at the garage sale: $1.50. They sold 5 books, and I took 10 more off their hands.

I hope my in-laws feel the whole garage sale was worth it. Because I'm pretty sure Ace and I don't.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Garage Sale

Today is the day of the big, talked about garage sale. I don't think it's going well, but it's hard for me to judge since I'm inside, away from the garage sale (last I heard, 1 drive by and 1 guy trying to kill some time are all who've been here).

I tried people, I really did. I got up shortly after 7, I got dressed, fed, and outside by 8, and was back in the house shortly after 9. And I made a run to a local convenience station to get myself some Sprite in between going out to the garage and coming back in the house.

It doesn't help that my stomach has been somewhat touchy all week. Nor does it help that the donuts this morning were fine, but the energy drink made my stomach feel icky. So, I grabbed some saltines (which are still near me) and some peppermints (I'm currently sucking on one) and tried to will myself to be okay for the morning. As you can see, it didn't really work.

My stomach keeps violently suggesting that it would feel ever so much better if I empty it. I somehow doubt this is the case. I did let Ace know that he could come get me if they get a rush, but I'm not expecting to be needed, as no one seems to be interested in all these teaching supplies my mother-in-law has.

Hopefully, this means that at noon, Ace and I can go to our friends' house and help them with what they need and I can relax for the rest of the weekend (with a happier stomach, I hope). Hopefully, my mother-in-law will find another way to get rid of all this stuff (like donate it to a school) instead of keeping it here (this is probably less likely than my weekend relaxation plans).

On the plus side, Ace did apologize for making me go get my own drinks (he would have, but his parents didn't seem to understand that he should take care of his wife's stomach before helping with their garage sale). He was worried that I was pissed with him (I wasn't). That man genuinely loves me (not something I'm surprised about, but it sometimes needs to be said).

I'm off to find something else to look at while waiting for something exciting to happen.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Give and Take

After venting yesterday, I feel a need to point out that Ace is almost nothing like his parents. And the longer we live here, the more obvious that fact is.

Today, Ace needed us get a DVD player for him to get ready for Monday when he starts training at his new office. We got up, got dressed, and left to go looking for a good, used, portable DVD player (5 hours of some guy talking about leads, not something he wants to take over his parents TV or one of our laptops with). While we were out, we got breakfast for tomorrow (donuts, yum) and some energy drinks to help us stay awake tomorrow morning (his mother wants the garage sale to start at 8 a.m., most of this household is still in bed at 8 a.m. currently, so at least Ace and I will need something to help us stay awake).

After we got back, we found out that his mother cried when his father called to mention he would be a little late because we didn't leave a note when we left and she couldn't do everything on her own. She has our cell phone number programmed into her phone (I programmed it, so I know she has it, under Ace's name), but she never called us to find out what we were doing or if we could come back and help her. She just got frustrated and Ace got scolded as if he had done something wrong when he hadn't.

Ace spent most of the time we were gone trying to get something to start his training and thinking ahead and planning for tomorrow. His mother didn't use her head to remember that she had a cell phone with the number of the people she thought would help her (with only a little notice).

Last night, Ace and I went to the store to buy some ketchup (and get me out of the house for a while). We started discussing our plans on paying off our debts and potential investments. Because I didn't feel comfortable with Ace's first thought on how we would pay off our debts, he came up with another plan within 5 minutes that I was cool with and would help us not only be debt free (or nearly debt free) within the next 2 years, but would also allow us to start building up our net worth at the same time. A plan that made BOTH of us happy.

That's the kind of guy Ace is. He tries to find solutions that will satisfy more than just one person when possible. His parents usually end up only satisfying only one of them, which seems like it would be less satisfying to me.

And now I'm going to go. I've got things to do besides thinking about my in-laws (as if they would let me forget them right now!).

Later.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sometimes I Just Need to Vent

This is a letter to my in-laws.

Hello,

I'm not going to call you dear anything, because at this point you aren't dear to me. I am daily trying to remind myself that you are being somewhat generous in letting Ace and I stay here while we are waiting on him to earn enough money to get us out of here. You are providing us food in addition to shelter, even if it's food we wouldn't normally choose ourselves.

I'm trying to remind myself that you do love Ace, somewhere in your hearts. That you see him (and by extension me) as something other than a servant to help you do whatever it is you want to do, but can't do on your own (and are going to do even if we have to do almost all the work). I'm trying to remember that you won't be able to decide to fill our weekends with stuff we really don't want do in just a short time, and that you aren't quite asking us to move the moon.

I'm trying to remember all of this, but I'm also trying to keep from yelling at you that you are driving your son away from you. You want to know why we don't visit? It's because you have a way of driving people away by making everything all about you. You've managed to do something in 3 months that my mother took over 20 years to do, I'm ready to cut you out of my life because you obviously don't really care that much about me.

It's obvious that you don't see me as someone you would have chosen for a son you keep telling, in words and actions, that you don't think is very bright. You probably think that I'm mooching off of your son and that since I haven't provided you with any grandchildren that I'm not really good for anything. I don't really care what you think of me, your opinions don't matter to me, it does sting a little that you have so little confidence in your son and his decision making abilities.

While Ace and I admit that we have some blame in our current financial situation, we also recognize that he has found not 1, but 2 well paying jobs in a fairly short time frame given the current job market. Both jobs have meant that I would have been able to not work, something that is fine with your son even if it's not fine with you. One of your other sons is still trying to find a job, while Ace has mostly spent the past few weeks waiting on background checks to be finished so he could schedule that test you thought he'd fail the first time around. He passed, of course, because he is good at remembering whatever it is he puts his mind to remembering.

I am getting tired of you planning my life for me while I'm staying here. I know you want to have your precious garage sale, and you have apparently decided that it will be this Saturday. Good for you. You didn't ask Ace or I if we had plans before you made these decisions, so why do you assume that we are free to help you (and that we're happy to help you for free)? It just so happens that we don't have plans, but that's beside the point. You are supposed to ask people before you assume they can do whatever it is that you want from them. Our schedules and plans aren't supposed to revolve around you, just like yours aren't supposed to revolve around us. But when you want our help, you should at least include us in the planning of such an event.

I'm ready to leave your house, and if I had my way I would never return. However, that is not purely up to me. Ace has acknowledge that I may get a month away from you before we potentially join you for lunches on Sundays. I'm still angling to only have lunch once a month, as that is way more often than I really want to see you, but we'll see. Ace is only pushing for twice a month, so you can see that even he is getting sick of your stuff and how your moods dictate everything in this house.

I'm going to go now. I'm feeling a little better, even though I know you'll never read this. Even if you did, I doubt you would recognize yourselves. But some of these things needed to be said.

M.A. Smith

P.S.: I wish I was making most of this up. It's really hard living here because it's true. Now to just make it through Saturday and maybe next week will be a much better week.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Huge... Tracts of Land

Today, I went and got fitted for a bra. It had been over 5 years since I last got measured. I am now wearing a 38G. It's a jump up on band size, but now "the ladies" as they are called (they are too big to be girls) are sitting where they are supposed to.

We also ordered 3 more bras (we've only bought one for now, as our finances and the store's stock dictated), which we should be able to get over the next two months, and will probably order more after that to get me enough to last a full week.

I'm sure that there will be a time of adjustment as I get used to the new location of the ladies. My back will have to adjust to feeling less stress (yay!). I'll have to adjust to the tightness of the band (I can still easily breathe, but it is snugger than my old bras are). But all of that is worth it, especially since these bras are affordable, in my size, and come in some colors besides just white (nude, black, red, and mocha... I've ordered another white, a nude, and a black for now).

Ace is ready for some alone time, I'm just ready for my body to be adjusted to the new sensations. But, now I know my current bra size. I know where to go if I lose weight and need new bras, or get pregnant and need nursing bras. And I know that they can work with me on ordering bras and paying for them as my finances allow, which is wonderful for now and hopefully won't be needed in the future. And I feel comfortable enough with them to come back to Tulsa for new bras when we eventually move back to Springfield.

If you live in Tulsa and need a bra, head to the Bust Stop. (I did not get paid anything for this, I'm just really impressed with their service. Although, if they do want to pay me in bras, we can work something out.)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A Brief Moment of Levity

Today has been an up and down day. Ace passed his test, which is great, but his dad ended up being in an accident (the guy tried to blame my father-in-law, but he was at fault, as the witnesses said). We got to see a friend and he helped fix a few things about our room to make it better while we're here, but Ace's mother decided that plain leftovers from yesterday weren't good enough and ended up making something with some of the hot dogs that I didn't like for dinner (again, which makes me feel a little like she's trying to slowly starve me to death). And I managed to burst some blood vessels in my tongue trying to drink a shake, so it was a really mixed day.

Anyway, after all this, Ace and I needed something light hearted today. And it came when we were talking on the bed.

Me: Congratulations on passing your test.
Ace: Thank you.
Me: And on getting a job.
Ace: You're welcome.
Me & Ace: (copious amounts of laughter).

And then, about 5 minutes later, after some other randomness, I said, "You're welcome and thank you." And then we laughed again. Then, "This is going on my blog."

Good News and Odd News

Ace passed his test!!!!! (I'm a little excited, does it show?) He starts training next Monday, but he goes in to the office Thursday to meet everyone he'll be working alongside/with. I'm now married to an official insurance salesman.

The only other thing on my mind right now is my mother-in-law's FaceBook status last night. "Had the family over for lunch today. I really did enjoy it. We ate in the tea house. it was a little hot, but we had a fan." A little hot was not fully taken care of by a fan, and that was made obvious someone (me!) feeling ill before lunch was over. It's not really a big deal, I know, but it is at the same time, for a variety of reasons.

Monday, July 5, 2010

It's July, Of Course It's Hot!

Today, we had the cookout. Technically, it's not over yet, as there are still people here who came for the cookout, but all the social aspects have pretty much petered out.

Because this was all about my mother-in-law, we had to eat outside. When I get hot, I stop eating (because my stomach tells me it's full, even when it's not, to avoid emptying itself). My father-in-law has a heart condition that gets aggravated by the heat, but he was in charge of grilling outside before we all ate outside (which was probably a bit much, but he seems to be doing fairly well).

Not surprisingly, before I was finished with the food on my plate (a hamburger and 3 deviled eggs, so not much), I was done. Before Ace was finished with his food, I was ready to come back inside (he had a bite of his hamburger left, I let him finish before making him move to let me out). I then stretched out for a little bit on the couch (with fans on) before realizing that I should move to the bed to be more out of the way (instead of taking up the whole couch when there is limited seating in the living room).

Nicely I've cooled off. I finished my hamburger. The only one besides Ace to show concern that I wasn't feeling well was our niece (although, my father-in-law did ask after I got up this morning how I was doing, which was nice of him).

My mother-in-law thought that one fan would cool everybody off enough to eat outside in July. The air from it never felt particularly cool, just less hot. And while the heat alone would not have been bad, the humidity added to the heat was more than my body could handle. If I had been fine yesterday, I would probably had done better today. Probably.

Basically, no one (but my mother-in-law, and maybe my niece) really wanted to eat outside, but we did anyway (to please my mother-in-law). And now I'd like to torch her tea house (but I won't) to keep this from ever happening again (which it probably will, adding to the list of reasons why I don't like celebrating anything with my in-laws).

And now I'm off to do something elsewhere that will hopefully lead to less whining on my part.

Try Again

It's been a little slow lately. Okay, that's not the full truth. I've been moving slow lately. I've felt kind of icky the past 24+ hours. My head has been a little light headed. My stomach has rejected most foods for most of that time (until about 6 pm, when my stomach decided to be fine overall).

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. But I know that it will give me the opportunity to try things again.

Ace has been studying for his test. He has been taking practice tests, and is doing better each time (with studying the parts he's been missing between tests). The last practice test he passed. His main frustration is that on some questions, the answers he's giving are probably right, but they are marked as wrong (one was totally right and marked as wrong, a situation that's messed up).

Tuesday, he'll take the real test. If he doesn't pass (not very likely at this point), he'll get a chance to try again.

Hopefully tomorrow the time will go by much faster and Tuesday Ace will pass his test with flying colors. If not, we will both get a chance to try again.

Friday, July 2, 2010

The War at Home

Earlier, I was laying in bed, trying to take a nap. It wasn't happening, much to my chagrin. I asked Ace to check to see when dinner was or if we needed to feed ourselves. The next thing I know, Ace doesn't seem to be coming back and I think I hear my mother-in-law saying something about volunteering to cook.

Feeling tired but curious, I wandered to the kitchen to find out what was up. It turns out that apparently Ace (and I, potentially) should be volunteering to cook dinner from time to time. Forget the fact that it was never mentioned that it would maybe help ease tensions if we would before this or that Ace is currently studying for a test (he takes it next Tuesday) to get a license to get a job.

The probable cause of all of this happened earlier this week. Ace's mother decided that we all (my mother-in-law, father-in-law, oldest brother-in-law, sister-in-law, niece, Ace, and I) should celebrate the 4th of July on the 5th of July (since my brother-in-law is off, because that's more important than Ace's test to my in-laws) with a cookout. None of the men that are supposed to be here like to grill, but we're going to have the typical fare of hamburgers and hot dogs, because my mother-in-law wants us to. My father-in-law is less than thrilled, as it has been too hot for him outside lately and now he has to cook in the heat to keep his wife happy. Ace and I are supposed to make sides, but who knows what will happen at this point.

Basically, my in-laws are a fight waiting to happen, but it'll probably ignite on the 5th, when everyone is here. Until then, Ace is apparently their scapegoat for any frustration and anger. I don't think they realize the damage they are doing to their relationship(s) with their son, but if they keep all this up he won't want to keep in touch when we move out. You would think they would have learned their lesson when they didn't see us for a year and didn't know we had moved, but apparently not.

Oh, and Ace got in trouble for all the stuff put on the dining room table (Where else were we supposed to put the candles? Outside?). They had just cleared the table off, and we covered it with their stuff that was in their guest room (currently our room). My sympathy is at zero, since they should have gotten rid of a lot of stuff long before now (and because my mother-in-law still doesn't see her problem, even though she knows she doesn't have anywhere to stick this stuff).

And now that I've expressed all this, I think I'm going to try to get some sleep. After all, I've been tired all day (I took a nap after dinner). I think that maybe I'll be able to get a full night's sleep now that I've gotten all this off my chest (so to speak).