Monday, March 31, 2008

We're Searching

We've started searching for a second car. We're looking mostly because our lives would be easier with two cars. It's been an interesting afternoon/evening (which is exactly how long we've been looking). We're going to keep looking.

This is going to be an interesting week, I can tell already.

And that's all I have to say about it tonight. In fact, I think it's all I have to say tonight.


Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Short From Ace

Commercial, guy answering his cell phone: "Say words."

Ace: "Who answers the phone like that? What are they going to do, mime?"

I'm still laughing.


Saturday, March 29, 2008

What Do I Miss?

I'm listening to Trace Adkins sing about what your going to miss as you move on with your life. And so far, I don't miss any particular part of my life that I've passed.

I enjoyed high school, but I don't really miss it. And I definitely wouldn't go back if you asked me to. It wasn't bad, but there isn't anything I really want to go back and relive. It wasn't a time that I miss.

I enjoyed being newly married, but I'm happy that I'm past that first year. We had lots of things to talk about then that could easily have become fights if we hadn't been careful. And nothing about that time is particularly near and dear to me. I wasn't close to people I am now, and I regularly saw people I didn't want to.

I'm not a mom yet, but I'm looking forward to that. And I'm fairly sure I will miss every part of that when the kids grow and change. But so far, it's something I'm looking forward to.

I miss seeing certain members of my family, that's what I miss. I miss getting to see everyone for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I miss hearing the arguments among my uncles. They argue about anything, and I think they are on the same side of the argument half the time. And all the females only half listen to what they are arguing about, mostly just enough to find out the topic before going back to more reasonable topics.

I miss seeing my friends from college. I miss the fun times we had in college. I miss having the stresses I had then instead of the stresses I have now. I miss silly jokes that the guys didn't get and making up a pretend band and having girls' nights out.

I miss seeing my best friend from high school, YzArC. And yes, I have a good reason for calling her that (it's what she requested and how she signed the map). I miss the long phone calls we have (it's been a while since we've spoken). I miss playing cards with her at lunch. I miss dressing up for her themed birthday parties. But mostly, I just miss spending time with her.

I guess it's not so much the times I miss from my past as much as the people. They helped me to become who I am now. And I like who I am now.

I'm going to go, because I think I've been deep enough for one night. Besides, I've got to get ready for when Ace comes home, because according to the stick I peed on earlier, I'm going to ovulate in the next 24 to 36 hours, so we'll be having sex.


Friday, March 28, 2008

Something I Don't Recommend

Last night, I was moving my laundry from the washer to the dryer. Over those machines are some built-in shelves over it, which is normally rather nice for holding laundry stuff and a few other various things. But it wasn't so nice when I momentarily forgot about them and hit my head really hard on it when I was finishing moving the laundry over.

I haven't felt 100% since. In fact, the best I've gotten is about 60%, or possibly 75%. On the plus side, I've caught up on some missed sleep and I got a couple of meals brought to me by Ace. But I'd rather have more energy and less pain.

I don't recommend bumping your head. And hopefully soon I'll be back to normal (I miss having a calm stomach).


Thursday, March 27, 2008

I Dream of Amy (She's Got Blonde Hair)

I dreamt of Amalah last night. And in my dream, we were friends. Good friends. And she was hoping with me that I would get pregnant so we could be pregnant together. I'm not sure she liked me being ready for the possibility that I wouldn't be pregnant.

So, I'm getting onto myself in my dreams through other people who have never met me and don't really know that I exist. Because I am just that obsessed.

Ace and I have been talking about baby names already. Because I've got him slightly obsessed too. Mostly on what we will name our potential children.

And now I have to go watch a kid be adorable in a music video, because that's how I roll these days.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Peeing on Sticks and Assorted Stuff

This week, starting yesterday, I am peeing on a stick once a day. I'm trying to find out when I'm likely to be ovulating. Because we're obsessed with becoming parents.

To add to the likelihood that I'll get pregnant, we got me new clothes yesterday, and I stocked up on feminine hygiene products during my last period. Which means I could easily get pregnant this month to make all this stuff just useless for a little while, which would make me extremely happy.

Oh, you want to know about these new clothes? I've got 3 new pairs of jeans, 3 new shirts (which are loose and slightly stretchy around the belly, so they could be worn for at least part of a pregnancy), and a cute new skirt (also loose around the belly, and dressy enough for work while still being relaxed looking for time off).

Ace bought me the shirts, which I didn't necessarily strictly need, because he decided that I need to show off my chest more. And I am more than happy to get new clothing.

Okay, I have laundry that is calling out to me that I really need to put it in the machines to get it all clean.


Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Perfect Response

Guys, if a woman asks you if she looks fat in her jeans, the best response is "To me, you are perfect."

That's better than chocolate, and it's healthier for our thighs.

That is all.

Housekeeping May Kill Me Someday

Today, Ace and I had a couple of lovely times where we were running around trying to clean up our living room, dining room/kitchen, and bathroom. We're having people come over, and we want our place to actually look like we keep things tidy and organized. Because no one we actually know should realize that we live like normal humans and haven't got everything organized yet.

Yes, we are complicated people who need to actually live what we like to show. Um, we're trying, but it's taking us a little while to get things put back up and organized again. On the plus side, we've almost got all of our dishes clean again (everything but what little is in our dishwasher, it's somewhat exciting). Our bathrooms have been cleaned. Basically, our house looks nice.

As nice as it is to get everything somewhat cleaned up, it's tiring. I'd like to rest for a long time, but we have people coming over tonight, otherwise things would still be as they had been. Which is the long way to say, I like having people over, but all the work of it may make me drop someday.


Saturday, March 22, 2008

Writing About Growing Up Is Hard To Do

I've said before (somewhere, I know) that growing up is hard to do. And it is. But writing about it seems to be harder. Or more writing about grown up things is harder. It's more personal, and makes me feel more vulnerable.

I hate feeling vulnerable, because I felt that way for way too many years. It hurts to allow others to see my "soft underbelly" for lack of a better term. My heart is no where near hard, but I'm normally able to write about things and not care about their reaction. But yesterday, I wrote (where my family could see it, i.e.: not here) about not being angry with my mother anymore, and how I'm trying not to bottle up my anger any more. So far, I've not had any reactions. Of course, it could be because no one has read it yet. But it could be because they don't believe it.

The waiting is hard.

Today, while talking with Ace, I realized my biggest problem with my mother was that she didn't seem to want to let me have my own opinion about things. Do you know how hard it is to get through life stifling your opinion on everything? It was eating me up. And I've changed so much on so many things since I stopped talking to her. I'm more relaxed, more open to ideas, less stopped up emotionally.

And yet, I'm still feeling vulnerable when it comes to expressing myself in public on most things. I'm starting to want to scream about it. It's silly, and I know most people either don't care or want me to express myself, but it's an ingrained habit to not say anything.

I'm going to go. The dishes in the sink won't wash themselves. Besides, I think I've expressed myself enough for now. And here, it doesn't leave me feeling vulnerable. It's nice.


Friday, March 21, 2008

A Night In

Tonight, I'm spending the evening with the movie Love Actually. Which is nice, because I've been trying to see this movie since this past Christmas, at least. Which is when it would probably been a little more appropriate. But now is when I finally get to see it.

If you want my opinion on love, which you obviously do since you're still reading what I'm writing, here it is: Love is. It just is.

And that's all I have for now. I'll go back to watching my movie, which is more interesting right now.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Things Do Get Better

I apparently really needed the hug and the chocolate, because not too long after getting them I started feeling better about life. I really wish sometimes that I wasn't quite so empathetic towards other people (mostly when I feel down without actually going through the event that is making me upset). It's not so much that I don't want to care about others, I just don't want to feel what they feel all the time.

I think I've just figured out why I enjoy reading novels and escapist literature more than non-fiction. There is less emotions attached to the fiction. And I need less emotion much of the time. My emotions seem to run on high most of the time, and it's tiring.

Ace and I were talking the other day about whether or not we thought that maybe being tired was in some way painful, a question partly brought about by the fact that I start getting sarcastic when I'm tired and when I'm in pain. I think there is some kind of connection between tiredness and pain, but not physical pain. I think it's more emotional pain. Of course, this is just my best guess.

I'm going to relax some more, because I can.


Needing a Break

After my not so happy post Monday (I got over it with funny TV and time with Ace, not alcohol, which is a lot healthier), my week hasn't fully gotten better. Today, I'm looking up information about widows and trying to find out how they cope with their loss. Yeah, I'm not feeling to up right now. Have I ever mentioned that I'm entirely too empathetic?

The wonderful sun, which I've missed lately, isn't even helping right now. I think I'm going to go home (I'm still at work!), find some chocolate and a hug from Ace. Maybe then I'll start feeling up again.


Monday, March 17, 2008

How Long?

How long do I have to answer questions about when I'm going to have kids? (So far, the answer hasn't changed. "We're trying," and a thought of 'not that it's any of your business' for anyone but our tax guy.) Probably until we have kids.

How many times can one hear that question before feeling like there is something wrong with them? I don't know, but I'm starting to feel that way. Over 4 and 1/2 years of marriage, without anything to prevent pregnancy, and I'm still not a mother. And the person I should be talking to this about is in a meeting about real estate, so I'm stuck talking to the internet.

How long do I wait before breaking out the alcohol and seeing if getting tipsy makes me feel better? I'm thinking about 30 minutes, if I can last that long.

How much do I wish I were someone else? There aren't the words.


Friday, March 14, 2008

In Praise of Pajama Bottoms

I actually came to praise pajama bottoms and Midol. But I'd rather not mention pain medication in the title of a post. At least not until I've got something stronger than Midol in my system.

I went to sleep last night, knowing I should take a Midol, but figuring that I wasn't cramping yet, maybe I'd sleep deep enough to sleep through quite a bit of the pain. That worked for roughly 3 and 1/2 hours, and then I woke up in some serious pain.

The thing about pain with me, I get more descriptive and imaginative when I'm in pain. The pain was bad. I think it would have hurt less if someone had kicked me in the stomach, but I eventually got the pain relief I was seeking.

This morning, I woke up without pain. It was nice. Of course, that was ruined by the necessity of wearing pants that weren't my pajama bottoms (which have a nice elastic waist, so they don't hurt my tender muscles). I didn't stay long at work (1 hour, and then I was more than ready to leave for the week). I changed back into my pajama bottoms as soon as I got back home and into the bedroom.

I've only changed out of them once, and only for lunch (I was wanting steak, so we went and had steak. I ate the whole steak and most of my sides, which is more than I expected to eat). And as soon as we got back home, I changed back into my pajama bottoms. Since I have no plans to go anywhere for the rest of today, I plan on staying in them until I'm forced to get dressed sometime this weekend.

Oh, and we got our federal tax refund today. We're very excited (and it contributed to us going out to lunch).

In summary, I'm content with Midol and pajama bottoms, and not wanting to see pants again until sometime tomorrow.


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Does Ace Really Love Me?

I think my husband is trying to kill me. Not literally, but we've been running around like crazy between our work hours. And I'm starting to feel like I'm dragging. I'm ready to for time off and I don't want to do anything on Saturday, if at all possible.

And to answer my own question. Yes, my husband loves me. I'm just not sure he realizes that I'm starting to feel really tired. And my over-active hope gland (I'm starting to believe that most of my hope comes from a glad or something, otherwise, why do I feel so hopeful month after month?) is pushing me to wonder if it's not something else creating this drag.

Mostly, I think it's that I've partially gotten used to the idea that I get to come home and relax for most of the rest of my day, but we've actually been doing stuff.

By the way, I don't fully remember what I did Tuesday, other than read a book until way to late. It's all a little fuzzy.

And now, I think I'm going to play Scrabble again (Ace bought it for me yesterday while we were at Office Depot sending off stuff via UPS). He got Monopoly (2 semi-different copies, but we're going to trade one in on Jeopardy for me). I'm content with my wonderful husband, even if all our running around is taking so much out of me.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Today, I was busy. So was Ace. After I got off work, Ace and I had several errands to run that kept us busy for a couple hours. We had to send some paper work off, pick my engagement ring up from being fixed (the diamond was loose, so I haven't been able to wear it for a while). Then, we had to go make a payment. Then we finally ate lunch. And lastly, we had to go mail off some tax forms (not our personal taxes, those were filed electronically, and we've already got one of our refunds back).

It would have been easier on both of us if we hadn't been rather tired to start off with. We stopped by Quick Trip (a wonderful convenience store/gas station in Tulsa) and got some energy drinks (the ones that don't have caffeine or a ton of sugar). Since I had that, I've been feeling good (more awake, which is good since I stayed up reading way too late last night [5:30 this morning! with needing to get up by 8:30.]) and full of energy. It's been odd, but nice.

I'm going to go. I've got something around here I should be doing, I'm sure (probably sleeping).


Monday, March 10, 2008

Yesterday, It Seems So Far Away

Dude, today was a long day (no, make that a loooooooooooooooong day). I know I've said that not so long ago (um, Thursday, I believe), but today was at least as long.

Now back to my original topic. Yesterday, Ace and I went to the Tulsa Home and Garden Show. I'm even attaching pictures, if I can figure out how.

This is our map, which is marked with the booths Ace wanted to see.

Swag at our bank's booth. We got some of that loot.

This was 1/3 of one aisle. There was just too much too see, but we weren't trying to see it all.

Okay, this is my last picture for today. It's the very interesting booth of Signs Now, which can make signs to go on pretty much anything (including the VW bug in the background, where the guy is pulling off part of the sign). Also, I should mention that the theme of the show was The Wizard of Oz, which was mainly shown by 3 cool looking sand sculptures.

Well, I'm going to go. I've got other things to do, like get ready for shopping at Wal-Mart.


Saturday, March 8, 2008

I'm Cold

Or I Miss the Warm Days of Not So Long Ago, Because the Cold Makes My Mind Go Random Places (You can see why I chose I'm Cold as the main title, no?)

Oklahoma weather is crazy. We'll go from nice 60 degree days down to 40 degree days and back to 60 degree days in the span of two weeks (the forecast for next week shows lots of 60 degree days!). And I dislike the 40 degree days. Or more, I hate my body's reaction, because I seem to have problems getting warm (I doubt my smoothie today helped matters much though).

Am I bad for not wanting to watch anything on Animal Planet? Do you think that will change when I have kids? And why wasn't the show How It's Made around when I was younger? It's really interesting.

How much do you think people get paid for squeezing out eggs and sperm from Rainbow trout? Because I think it would probably be a decent amount, or at least it should be.

Ace and I are thinking of going to OKC to see the Human Body exhibit while it's at the Omniplex. I've heard it's really cool (except the pregnancy ones, which made most of the people I've heard about it from wince and/or cry).

Okay, I think I've reached the random length I'd like this post to be, so I'll go now.


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Is It Friday Yet?

Today was a long day (actually, it was a loooooooooong day). And the long part ended at 1:30, when I left work. I'm wishing it was Friday though. I'd like to be done for the week.

Tonight is a TV and alcohol night.

On the plus side, a nice bubble bath earlier helped me feel more human again. But I still am back to my normal emotional state.

I'm going to go back to vegging.


Wednesday, March 5, 2008

My (Sort of) Best Week Ever

This week has been pretty good. Monday, we got our news on our taxes. It's big, very big. On the plus side, it's big in our favor. We're seeing a very bright future coming up.

Yesterday (which was Tuesday, if you aren't paying attention), I had an extremely easy day at work (I did today too). I finally got my boss e-mailed so that he realizes that he needs to find someone permanent for the position I'm working right now. I felt odd sending that e-mail and I was uneasy somewhat last night.

Today, I found out that my boss was fine with my e-mail, and didn't know some of what I had to say in it before hand (or he didn't remember from 4 months or so ago). But, he was mostly happy to find that out now, while he still has time to make his decisions. I just hope he got the minor point in the e-mail that I'm not the right person for the job permanently.

Well, I need to go. I've got ads to look through for items for my vision boards.


Monday, March 3, 2008

It Was His Best Day Ever (And Then He Took a Bath)

Yesterday, Guillermo was in doggy heaven, or he at least had teh best day evar!!11!!!1 for dogs. He got to go on two trips (he went with Ace to get lunch, and we took him to PetSmart). He got a new collar, leash, two toys, and shampoo. I'm not sure he would be so excited about the last one. While we were shopping, he got attention from people who will probably never see him again. He got petted by two other customers, and the cashier emptied out her treat bowl feeding him treats.

And then in the evening, he took a bath. But then he got brushed, which I know he likes. He got treats too. And then, while Ace and I were grocery shopping, we got him another new toy and some treats for training him.

So, yeah. It was Guillermo's best day ever!


Sunday, March 2, 2008

My Latest Obsession

I've got to share my latest obsession. It's not taken the place of getting pregnant, but it has added to my inner neat freak (which isn't as picky as it tries to seem). I'm quickly becoming enamored with the show Clean House.

4 people (the host, a designer, a yard sale expert, and a carpenter) show up to the house (in L.A.) and help people de-clutter 3 rooms, have a yard sale, and then give them newly decorated rooms, which so far I've found gorgeous every time (so has Ace).

My home, while not fully clutter free, is still rather neat and clean. Ace and I occasionally have to go back and get rid of stuff, but it's usually not a very time-consuming task. And we both feel much better when we get done (freer). It's nice.

So, yeah. That's it for now.


Saturday, March 1, 2008

An Orgy of Flavors

I've been eating a lot of food lately. I'm still not sure why, but I've been eating like I've been starving myself (except the past two evenings, when I've been giving my back a break and not moving it, which leads to not eating as much). So, lately it's been an orgy of flavors in my mouth. And almost everything tastes better than it has before.

I've been eating Fritos with bean dip, ice cream, fruit cups, chocolate, candy, chips, and larger meals than normal. And I've been enjoying it.

Well, I'm going to go. I've not really got anything else to say.