Sunday, February 20, 2011

A Need for Authenticity

Ace and I, in general, tend to be the same people behind closed doors as we are in public. We may keep from discussing a few topics in public (like sex or politics), but we are the same people when it's just the two of us as we are when we're in public.

Except when it comes to being around Ace's parents. Then we are on guard as to certain topics, because we don't want a long, drawn out, misconstrued, misunderstood conversation.

And the need to guard what we say or do is exhausting. It's draining both of us. We prefer to be our authentic selves all the time. I'd like to be able to have a discussion with my husband that can take place in any room of the place we are living in without concern. I don't want to feel like I have to judge my words by what might offend my in-laws (or at best lead to lots of questions they don't need the answers to).

Ace is just as frustrated as I am about this situation. He's just as ready as I am to get out of here and live on our own. We're trying (TRYING) to be patient until we can make the changes we need made.

But until then, we are trying to be as true to ourselves as we can be. And hopefully that's good enough.
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