Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Intermittent Self-Doubt

Last night, I played WoW again (as is somewhat usual). I healed a raid (this was new). It kicked up some self-doubt, despite seeing that I was doing decently at it.

I hate it when I start doubting myself. It's always over something stupid, that I know better than to freak out mentally over. And it usually involves me doing something fairly dumb because I'm so freaked out, adding to my self-doubt.

This isn't the first time that I've let self-doubt damage my mental calm. It's still a struggle to sometimes to move past all the bad things my mother said in the past that damaged my self-esteem. I'm doing better most of the time, and I'm starting to not care quite as much if some people don't like me (all the time, at least).

I realize that everyone has some doubts. I know that I probably won't fully ever get away from some small measure of doubt. But I know that I shouldn't be feeling quite so much doubt just because I'm trying something somewhat newish. I should do better at trusting that I know what I'm doing.

I'm trying to work on that.
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