Sunday, October 11, 2009

Walking in Love

Lately, Ace and I have started focusing more on spending time in the Bible and spending time listening to teaching from the Bible. And it's helping us both a lot, I think.

I know that it's feeding our faith. And it reminds me of when we were first married. We spent so much time with God and each other. I never realized before now that I had missed that.

As I've looked back over my life (over the broad-strokes, I'm not messing with looking at the details right now), on the good times and the bad, I've found that for every event that seemed like it should or could shake my faith in God, it's instead brought me closer to Him.

When my parents divorced, I was going to a church that really didn't know how to react to that or how to support me emotionally through that time. When my mom got remarried, we changed churches, which was awkward for me because I really didn't know anyone there. Through all of this, my faith in God just got stronger. And even when things have happened that have shaken my faith in humanity's ability to be good, my faith in God hasn't wavered. It's constant.

While my faith has remained steadfast, my attitude and my habits have changed over the years. My knowledge of the Bible has grown and my beliefs on the smaller issues, things that I see as minor details now, have changed as I've gained knowledge. And while Ace has helped with that, I'd like to think that I would have adjusted my beliefs to what I saw in the Bible had I been growing on my own.

I'm still trying to find a way to fully walk in God's agape love. I know that I'm not perfect, most days I feel like perfect is a long way away, but I'm trying. I'm also trying to figure out how walking in love with my mother works (I guess it's easier when I'm not dealing with her, but it feels more awkward).

So, while my faith is stronger than ever, I'm feeling like my attitude and my habits still need work. Maybe all this time with God will help.

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