Thursday, October 14, 2010

Flowing with the Waves

I'm starting to feel a little ridiculous. People are talking pregnancy and babies, which is great. I'm not feeling jealous, I'm just feeling happy for them.

And then the crash of sadness hits me because I'm just finishing up my period. And I'm turning 30 in less than a week. And I still don't have a baby in my arms. And, and, and...

It's frustrating on one hand because I still have plenty of years in which to have kids and I know this. On the other hand, I've got my biological clock ticking LOUDLY in my head and it doesn't seem to want to SHUT UP!

So, I'm trying to find a middle ground between joy for others and sadness for myself (something that isn't helpful). I'm letting those waves of emotions wash over me and letting them go. I am being patient, again, still.

I'm discovering how many things bring up a random, confusing swell of emotions. I'm letting the emotions flow like waves. I'm learning how to focus more on my goals and plans than on my current circumstances.
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