Wednesday, March 2, 2011

An Open Letter to Rachael Ray

Dear Rachael Ray,

I'm sure you are a lovely woman. The little I've seen of any of your shows you've seemed sweet. Personally, I have no ill will towards you or your shows.

However, I do have a bone to pick with you. My mother-in-law loves your talk show. She loves talking about your talk show, so I get to hear WAY more about it than I'd care to. I am not a big fan of talk shows, so I don't watch your (or any one else's) talk show.

My mother-in-law thinks she can do what you can do in your kitchen, Ms. Ray. The real problem is that she cannot. She doesn't have the capability to stand long enough to cook food like you do. She also has a family that would be content to eat much simpler and easier to prepare food. It's not that we would hate your style of cooking, we just are used to more meat and potatoes kinds of dishes.

My husband, Ace, and I are both ready to never hear your name again. It's nothing personal, it's just that my mother-in-law has made a habit of saying it several times a week. I'm fairly certain my father-in-law is tired of hearing about your show too.

Rachael Ray, if I never hear your name again that would be fine with me. I hope you do well in your hosting/cooking careers. I hope you gain satisfaction from your jobs. I hope you get all the wealth and fame you desire. I hope your products sell tons (I won't be buying any, but it's more the principle of the thing). I just hope that my mother-in-law stops watching your show, or at least stops talking about it so often.

I'm fairly certain that I'm not the only person in the house to feel the same way. And when I have a place of my own again, your shows will be banned from viewing (the only other show banned is Barney, so you join some illustrious company for annoying me). I make no guarantees that you'll stay banned forever (Barney will be, he's gives me the creeps), but I doubt I'll ever truly be interested in your shows.

So, Rachael Ray, I bid you a good life. I'll not miss you when you are gone from mine.

M.A. Smith

P.S.: Despite my mother-in-law's thoughts, I don't need my meatloaf to last more than one meal. And if it does, it doesn't need to be put between two slices of bread in order for me to enjoy it.

P.P.S.: Sorry, my mother-in-law got to me at dinner, talking about leftover meatloaf and Rachael Ray. Thank goodness my father-in-law steered the conversation a different direction!
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