Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Secret to (Marital) Happiness

Ace has had several women suggest he teach men how to be good at relationships. It's not a bad thought, we are happy in our relationship. And we have never had an actual fight.

We've had disagreements, because we obviously are both human. The first year we were married, we came close to having some heated arguments. And then, while I calmed down (because it was always me who was angry), Ace prayed. When I calmed down, he apologized and we talked some more in a calmer manner. After that first year, we've been able to avoid the tenser parts and just stick to the calmer talking about things.

I think that aspect of our relationship has been the biggest secret to our happiness as a couple. We respect each other too much to argue. We respect that we each see things differently. And it's not like we disagree on many things (enough that we aren't the same person in two different bodies, not enough that it's hard to live with each other). Despite my mother-in-law's opinions on the matter, we have plenty of foods in common too (that woman is slightly obsessed with food).

The biggest thing that learning how to effectively communicate with each other that first year of our marriage has done is made us see the importance of clearly talking to each other. We talk about just about everything. And it's made us wonder how marriages work for couples who don't. Talking just seems natural after 8 and 1/2 years.

I recognize that I've been blessed with a wonderful husband. He finds our relationship important enough to work on it. He doesn't want to take it for granted that we will always be on the same page. He cares about what I think and he knows that I care about what he thinks. We both want our marriage to be happy, so we both put work into it.

It's because of these things that even living with my in-laws, even stressing about money, we have happiness and love. Life isn't perfect here, but it wasn't perfect before either. Life will never be perfect, but we prefer to find the happiness and joy in our lives despite the circumstances. And I think that is the true secret to happiness.
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