Friday, March 12, 2010

Awkward Shyness Has Bad Timing

Lately, I've not been feeling extremely shy. That has not always been the case though. When I was really young, I was very awkwardly shy and I still am to a degree.

The bad timing on shyness is that sometimes I'll feel comfortable around people and then suddenly I'll need something that I don't feel comfortable asking for and suddenly I feel painfully shy. This is a big deal for me mentally, as I should feel comfortable asking people who I know care about me for something to make me feel more physically comfortable.

Once or twice, this popped up at the chiropractor's office. Since I only went with Ace driving me, he was my mouthpiece. Before we left, I got what I needed and felt good, but I should have been able to ask for myself. I know that no one would be mad at me, but I just couldn't bring myself to ask on my own.

I doubt my awkward shyness would manifest if I was asking for someone else (it never has before, nor does my intense dislike of calling people). I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Am I fine asking for others to be made comfortable because I'm a people pleaser? Is that same tendency why I feel bad asking for something for me? And why does it seem like the answers to these questions will just bring me more questions?

I offer no answers and make no promises. I'll attempt to get better and hopefully I'll succeed. And maybe someday, I'll fully defeat my shyness.
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