Monday, November 21, 2011

NaBloPoMo Day 21

Since Thanksgiving is this Thursday, I guess I should be focused on things I'm thankful for. Instead, today I'm focused on an old friend of Ace's from high school (old as in he knew her a long time ago, not old as in she's 80).

They are friends on FaceBook. She posted something recently about an event her daughter had and she invited people to come. Ace told her he couldn't make it due to previous plans. Once she found out it was his prayer night, she asked him to come to church with her (partially so they could catch up).

Yesterday morning, he went to church with her. I stayed home, mostly because of a sore back and desiring some time alone. Ace got home about an hour after the service ended, obviously catching up went well (the church is within a mile of my in-laws house, so I know travel time was practically nothing).

This evening, I will meet this friend. Ace has let me read the conversations they've had just so I know what is going on. He told me some about them visiting. He wants us to be friends with his old friend, something I'm fine with. From the sound of it, she needs a relationship with a guy who just wants to be friends.

Ace doesn't want to keep things secret from me. He would like it if she and I became friends. I'm hoping to make a new friend and get to know more about the past my husband seems to have mostly suppressed. I'm curious about this person who freely invites people to church, something I haven't always seen. I'm curious about what her kids are like (she has 2).

And while I'm curious about her, I wonder if she's curious about me. Did she used to have a crush on Ace and wants to know what kind of woman he married? What if she thinks I'm all wrong for Ace? Would she even care? What if I can't find things to talk to her about? What if I can't stop babbling? What if I make a complete fool of myself? Will any of these thoughts matter?

Obviously, Ace and this friend weren't that close in high school. I'd have met her before now if she was that important to him before. I've known Ace for over 9 years, been married close to 8 and 1/2, and yet my insecurities about meeting people he used to know well still come out. All sorts of stupid what ifs keep popping in my head. I'm over thinking this whole thing. Somehow, I imagine that I'm not the only one over thinking things. But I'm probably the only one awake when I should be sleeping because I'm over thinking things.

Later today I'll meet an old friend of Ace's. I hope everything goes well.
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