Lately, although I haven't been talking about it here, I've been a bundle of nerves and insecurity. There's been a couple of reasons and at least one of them has been fully removed.
The other reason I've been nervous and insecure isn't going to go away nearly as quickly. D and I have been talking about things that have triggered some of the stuff that my mother broke about me. And I guess it's time to fully fix those bits and pieces that are broken.
I'm doing better now. This week hasn't seemed quite as "bad" as the past few weeks. I'm adjusting and working on the problem.
But the reminder that I'm still so broken was a bit shocking. I thought I was doing better than that. But I now know that I'm stronger, even in my broken parts, than I thought I was. I have seen warning signs of depression, but I staved it off each time before it hit. I'm doing better, even while having bad days.
I may never fully feel like I'm not broken, but at least I'm not feeling like it's impossible to fix the broken pieces.