Sometimes, no matter how good a mood I am in, some part of me wants to cry. To feel the sadness of someone else. To give into depression some, for a little bit.
It's tempting. So tempting to stop fighting and just sink down into feeling upset and just lay around. To not fight it off anymore.
It's tiring, fighting off depression. Fighting to hold onto hope that tomorrow will be better, that this month will have better news, that the next phone call will be the positive change that I've been waiting on.
I'm not giving up, but I'm tired. I'm so very tired in ways that aren't truly physical, despite my body's claims otherwise. I'm tired of my emotions spinning out my control. I'm tired of trying to control them.
I'm tired of hurting inside for no real reason. I'm tired of the pain and the emotional aches that turn into physical ones because my body doesn't know how else to deal with them.
I'm tired of being tired.