Monday, May 25, 2009

I Have Large... Tracts of Land

I don't currently have large tracts of land, but I like Monty Python and the Holy Grail (or any of the Monty Python stuff, really).

Instead, today I am going to talk about my large chest.

I've been noticing my chest more and more recently. I don't think it's growing, I just think it's currently holding my attention. My correct bra size (the last time I was fitted, which has been, admittedly, a while ago) is 34H (all natural, because who would go that big? and what doctor would allow it?).

I'm trying to give that a chance to sink in. This means that my chest, at it's furthest point, is 8 inches further than it is right under my arms. It's not surprising that I have back issues stemming from nothing other than getting upright.

While my chest is large, it seems even larger when I realize that the rest of me is fairly small in stature (other than my belly, but it's not big enough to justify those 8 inches). Ace, who is a good deal larger than me, can't cup one of my breasts in just one hand.

If I could share the wealth, believe me I would. I'd be happy with a C or a D cup (D is roughly where I was at when Ace and I got married). I'd like to be able to eat without feeling like I'm going to get food down my cleavage (it's almost inevitable at this point). I'd like to not have to wear a bra almost 24-7 just to have enough support to keep my back from constantly complaining (believe it or not, my back doesn't usually hurt, so the bra thing must actually work). I would gladly give up an impressive amount of cleavage to be able to comfortably wear a button up the front shirt (also, 8 inches of boobs don't stick out, they kind of hang down).

And I know that I could have a breast reduction. My health insurance would probably cover it (most insurance policies do). But, I'm waiting on doing that. I'm waiting for a chance to have children and at least attempt breastfeed each of them. Because to me, all the sore backs, lack of button up the front tops, food in cleavage, and frustration in general about the size of my chest is worth it to try to do something like that for my kids.

Besides, when I do go have the breast reduction surgery, I plan on having the ladies (as they are called in this house... it's been determined that they are too big to be girls) lifted back into place. So, there is that to look forward to as well.

And for now, I'll keep trying to get pregnant, and I'll keep waiting (and wearing my bras).
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