Well, according to my computer doctor, there are two solutions to my problem.
1. Spend $300 on a monitor replacement, which won't necessarily be done today. This laptop isn't worth $300.
2. Buy a monitor to hook up to the laptop. Spend what you want, have a working laptop in the time it takes to set everything up.
Since I'm typing this on my laptop, you can guess which option we chose.
My new monitor was just a hair over half the replacement monitor's cost. It's also much bigger than the original monitor.
Ace is thinking of getting one for himself.