Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I Don't Think She Knows What No Contact Means

Back when I stopped talking to my mother, I gave her one simple rule. Don't contact me. She could contact Ace, but not me.

Since then, Ace has only heard from her through me. And she's sent me several cards (the first mailed to my in-laws, the rest sent with my siblings), tried to friend me on MySpace, and called me once (apparently at my sister's insistence).

While I can use that excuse for the phone call, I can't do much to excuse her for sending me cards. Cards with money in them (for Christmas and my birthday), making it harder to just refuse them.

I wanted her to just leave me alone. To let me get over my hurt and anger and to move on with my life. Instead, she keeps trying to pop up at the most random of times. In my effort to avoid her, I've cut most of my ties with my extended family (all my aunts, uncles, and cousins are on her side).

Yesterday, in the wake of what is fairly obviously her inability to let me be (I still have yet to confirm it with my sister, but it's not like I really need to), I did something I never planned on doing. I joined Facebook to connect with my extended family and be kept up to date on what is really going on.

This whole thing has been weird. Before I joined Facebook, I determined that I could make it where my mother couldn't contact me through her own name there. It's not perfect, but at least this way I know that I can connect with loved ones and feel safer about it.

But I have a couple of questions before I go. What does no contact mean to you? And if your children requested it, would you honor their wishes?
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