Sunday, May 29, 2011

Perception

My in-laws and Ace are having a "discussion". Sitting here, listening in, it's starting to make me mad. Because my in-laws aren't listening to Ace about the fact that they need to try to look at some things from our perspective too.

They are pissed that I, personally, am not doing things they see to help out, so I must not do anything around here. They assume that I'm wanting things done for me (not really, I just don't want to get in the way). They aren't listening to Ace telling them that every time they ask him to do something they sound like he needs to do it right away.

There is clearly a communication issue going on here. Everyone is trying to talk, but not everyone seems to be actually listening to what is being said (Ace's parents). I have always believed that the purpose of a conversation or a discussion is to actually communicate with others. If I were to go by the "discussions" that Ace has with his parents (that always last hours longer than they really need to), discussions and conversations are just there to vent your feelings and demand someone see things from your point of view while refusing to do the same.

One of the few more positive results that came out of this whole thing is that Ace and I will be responsible for our own meals most nights. This means we can eat when we get hungry instead of waiting for my mother-in-law to cook. It should help stop me from feeling hungry for quite so long in the evenings.

Ace is hoping that we can get out of here as fast as possible. It's quickly becoming obvious that everyone is miserable in this house. My father-in-law flat out stated (practically yelled) that he will never apologize for hurting my feelings while teasing me. I shouldn't have such thin skin, at least to my in-laws' way of thinking. I don't understand why hurting my feelings is less deserving of an apology than if he physically hurt me (or even just bumped into me). I am also supposedly less of a good Christian because I was still upset and hurt two days after the event (good Christians are apparently never show non-Christian traits because they are still hurt).

Ace is frustrated because he has specifically tried to get me to not push through the pain to finish some project because he knows I'll hurt for several days and not be able to do anything. His parents seem to think that I'm acting stuck up and high-and-mighty because I'm trying to do what my husband wants me to do. I think I'm in a no-win situation as long as we stay here. And it frustrates me, because you would think my mother-in-law would understand trying not to do too much, since she has pain everyday. Of course, she keeps pushing through until she can't do stuff any more, so I guess that should teach me a lesson (forget that if I did, I wouldn't be able to do anything productive for several days because of the pain).

I know that I'm whining here again. I hate that. I should be typing something about how much all our military impresses me and how much I appreciate each and every family that has someone (or more than one someone) serving. I do appreciate these people. They impress me. I'm not sure how I would handle Ace being gone for so long, other than, I guess, the same way the military families do it. Call and e-mail as much as you can, miss your loved one, keep living day to day life. I don't know if my character would fully be strong enough to handle that. The people who do deserve love and compassion. The people serving deserve love and compassion too. They, too, are away from their loved ones. They don't know for sure when, or if, they will be back home again.

I'm trying to put things in the right perspective. My in-laws make that hard to do.
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