I'm trying very hard not to conclude that life hates me.
Last night, I got reminded how bad a situation with my uncle is (he did something really stupid, now he is going to have to pay for it). And I spent a good amount of time trying to stop focusing on that and to just focus on breathing. I was up until at least 2 am (I've been going to sleepy by midnight lately).
Then, this morning, at 7:30, a reminder of past financial mistakes by Ace came pounding on the door (literally pounding on the door). And my stress level jumped up again. Ace has told he to trust him and God with those situations and just focus on finding a job and breathing in and out.
Normally when I find myself at the point I'm at emotionally, it's because I've been focusing on the wrong things and I've drifted off. This time, I got caught by an undertow that I wasn't aware I was anywhere near. I'm treading water, waiting for some help from Ace who, hopefully, can see the shore.
And I'm cranky because I got less sleep than I need, and can't seem to relax enough to take a nap.
So, for today, I'm focusing on breathing in and breathing out, because that is all I can handle.