Saturday, February 21, 2009

Trying Not To Be Down

This whole job search thing has really hit me hard emotionally.

Okay, I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me.

I wake up each morning, and I feel crappy about the fact that I haven't gotten much response to sending out my resume. All it makes me want to do is hide in bed with my blanket over my head and hide until it all goes away.

It's got me back to feeling insecure and stupid, things that I normally don't feel.

And part of me is tired of fighting those feelings off.

I'm trying so hard not to be sad or to look down on my short list of job experience. I'm trying hard to tell myself that it just takes time, I'll find something, that God has already made a way and I just need to look for it, that we'll be fine until I do find it.

But today, it's getting to me. I know that I've sent my resume out to Monday-Friday jobs and so that's part of the reason I'm not hearing anything.

It's not just this job search. I'm also feeling frustrated because my aerobics class is kicking my butt (or rather my knees and hips). I knew my muscles would hurt, especially the first couple of weeks, but my joints aren't supposed to be feeling so sore and tender. So, I'm having to rethink this and possibly go for a water aerobics class (or just spend some time swimming laps or walking in the pool) or something that will be easier on my joints.

So, if I'm sitting in my house on a Saturday afternoon, trying not to cry and feeling overwhelmed by life, you can hopefully understand that I'm trying to not be down. But I don't think it's quite working right now.

P.S.: It would help if the dog was not quite so annoying right now. Unfortunately, he doesn't (or hasn't) gotten that, so he's been yelled at a lot over the last 24 hours. And that doesn't help the situation any either.
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