Sunday, June 8, 2008

Waiting for the Undefined

I'm at the point in the two week wait where I would normally be itching to take a pregnancy test. Instead, I'm feel no rush, and in fact want to wait. I'm not sure if it's because normally when I've taken a pregnancy test it's followed by a period starting within 24 hours, but that may be a small part of it.

I think a big part of it is that if I take the test and it's positive, my life will really be changed, and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for that just yet. So, I'm waiting for now.

Maybe I'm just waiting for it to be Ace's days off so he's here with me when I test? Maybe I'm waiting for next Sunday, so we can celebrate the possibility that next year we'll be celebrating father's day for Ace? Maybe I'm just unnerved about all the possibilities, because we're coming up for our 5 year anniversary?

All I know is that for now, I am waiting, but I'm not impatient about it. In fact, I'm extremely relaxed about it right now. And I'm not sure what that means.

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